Street Life
by tessinciucy
Summary: A man is running for his life. How is he related to the NCIS team? What kind of trouble will they find themselves into? Rated T, just to be sure. Mostly about Deeks, but with all the team involved.
1. Chapter 1

First of all, usual disclaimers, because I don't own NCIS LA or any of its characters. I simply like them too much...

Then, as usual, all the mistakes are mine, I hope I'm not offending anyone with it. I'm still trying to improve mself.

This story simply popped out of my head or better the first scene came to me at first, then it took a life on its own. I still don't know whether I like it or not... but you'll tell me, maybe... Thanks!

And this story has nothing to do with my previous ones... but as I promised I'm working on a sequel for Poisonous Path (just be patient...please).

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Street Life - Chapter 1

Run. He knew he had to run if he wanted to save himself but his legs felt like they were made of iron... heavy and unresponsive. He stumbled falling to the ground "No, get up! Move!" a voice screamed in his head.

And so he did it, using all of his residual energies, he got up, but why did everything hurt? His head was spinning and everything around him was blurred, a mix of colors and images that didn't make any sense. Why was he running? Where was he? He was so confused... and scared.

The man felt his heartbeat quickening its pace, his lungs were burning for the effort.

Run. Don't stop.

Once again, he stumbled to the ground, he was so tired but the only thing he knew was that he had to keep going, to keep moving.

While he was trying to stand, he felt a hand touching him and a voice he didn't recognize, reached his ears.

"Are you ok?" the voice asked, but the man couldn't understand a word.

"No!" he cried out, pushing violently away the source of the voice.

Staggering, he collected his strengths and started walking again, even more unstable on his feet than before.

"Don't touch me!" the scream came out full of fear and desperation.

He could feel the blood pumping in his ears as he ran away, his heart ready to explode.

The man crashed against the crowd, stumbling again on the dusty ground. He felt so dizzy, so confused... what were he doing here? Who were all these people? And why did they want to hurt him? No... they could not catch him, he had enough of the pain.

He could feel men and women shouting at him, other cried out in fear at his passage, probably shocked by his appearance; in fact the man could feel something sticky running down his face, his bare feet were bleeding and his filthy clothes were torn and dirty.

Once again panic filled his mind, numbing his muscles, making him falling to the ground the moment his body crashed against somebody else's.

A stabbing pain hitting his back made him cry out, his vision blurred as flashes of psychedelic lights and colors danced in front of his eyes.

The sound of sirens in distance reached his ears and he had to cover them because the echo resounded painfully into his already throbbing head.

"Stop it, please!" he yelled desperately burying his head in his hands as he was kneeling with his elbows on the ground.

For several endless minutes, he remained in the same position, trying to give his body some relief, but it didn't last long.

Strong hands put him to his feet, shouting at him words he couldn't understand. His instinct kicked in and he started struggling, trying to get rid of the people who was holding him.

"LAPD, stop! Don't move!" a cop ordered, but the man couldn't hear him or simply ignored him.

The man punched one of the cops who was trying to stop him; the police officer stumbled to the ground when the air was knocked out of him. The man kicked and hit another target, surprising the cops that didn't know where he could find the strength.

For a second, he thought he was free, that he could run away, because he knew he had to run if he wanted to stay alive, but sadly... he was wrong.

Another couple of strong arms grabbed him and pushed him face down to the ground, almost knocking him off for the violence with which he fell to the solid soil.

"Stay down!" a cop yelled at him, but the man was still struggling and screaming to let him go.

Another police officer, losing his patience, hit the man with a taser gun.

An electrical discharge ran through the man's body, shaking him as he cried out in pain...

His body was still trembling while the cops handcuffed him, tightly, and he was still conscious when they dragged him to the police car.

"Let me go" he begged, almost crying "Please let me go... please..." his legs didn't support him anymore and he didn't fall to the ground only because of the cops holding him.

"Shut up!" an officer yelled at him, he was ready to hit the man again with his baton to shut him up, when the prisoner's eyes rolled back and he collapsed in the cops' arms. His whole world went balck.

The cops put him unceremoniously into the back seat of the car, when one of them looked at his hands and saw the blood pouring from them "What the hell..."

He took a closer look at their prisoner in the car and screamed "An ambulance! Johnson, call an ambulance, immediately... he's bleeding out!"

* * *

It was a normal morning in the Ops room; Eric Beale was sitting at his desk, checking on his computer the camera-feeds LAPD uploaded to its server. It was nothing out of ordinary, mostly daily job, since he did that almost every morning just in case something useful for their investigation, came out.

He was distractedly watching the fourth video, when something caught his attention. He stopped the video to get a clear screenshot of a man, probably a homeless man or a junkie, according to the way he behaved and to his filthy clothes, who was being pushed into a police car after he had scared the hell out of the crowd at a market near the beach. There was something familiar in the man, so he double-checked.

He couldn't believe his own eyes...

Eric rushed out of Ops and climbed down the stairs stopping, breathless, right in front of the desks where Hetty was talking to her team.

"Eric, please breathe... I don't want to be forced to perform mouth-to-mouth respiration on you first thing in the morning..." Sam told him smiling.

"No... it's... just..."

"Mr. Beale, could you please wait a second to get your breath back and then tell us what got you so excited?" Hetty asked, furrowing her brows.

Eric took a couple of deep breaths, then he said "I... I found him..."

"You found... who?" Callen wondered frowning.

"I... found him..." repeated the tech "I found Deeks!"

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Ok I know, it's short... but let's call it just a teaser;)

Let me know what you think! I will appreciate it. Thanks in advance.


	2. Chapter 2

So new, and a bit longer, chapter is up... I hope you'll enjoy it.

Thank you all for your reviews, I truly appreciate all of them. As I said I was not so sure about this story, I truly hope that it will make sense for you when you'll find out what Deeks has got himself into.

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Street Life - Chapter 2

_45 days before_

The first rays of the sunshine brightened up the ocean when a solitary man caught another wave and danced on it, firm on his board, like he was born there, like water was his element.

Marty Deeks loved surfing, he loved the peace he got from spending time in the water, looking for the perfect wave as the salt invaded his nostrils. It simply emptied his mind from all the thoughts. When he was surfing there was nothing else other than the ocean, the board and himself. Nothing else counted. Nothing else existed. He simply felt free, his mind lighter without anything to think about, any burden weighing on his shoulders, any bad memories haunting him. It was just him and the immense ocean...

And this morning was no different. He had woken up early, geared up and, taking Monty with him, he had found his favorite spot. He needed to relax, to release some of the tensions accumulated in the last few days when a taxing case involving the kidnapping of a marine's daughter, had emotionally involved the whole team. Fortunately the little girl had been saved and none of them had been badly hurt.

Deeks caught one last wave, riding it expertly, feeling the adrenaline running through his vein, then when it was over, he left himself fall into the water, slowly allowing his body to reach the beach, without putting up any resistance. Collecting his board, he started walking to the place Monty was supposed to stand watching over his stuff, surprised to find another man there, waiting for him.

"I never took you for a surfer" he said planting his board into the sand and kneeling to pet his dog "Hey buddy... I thought you shouldn't let anyone get too close" Monty looked at him with an innocent expression and then licked his owner's face "Ok, ok... I'm not mad at you..." the cop lost his balance and almost fell to the ground because of the small animal's enthusiasm.

"That mutt can recognize a fellow cop" the man said, shaking his head at the scene taking place in front of his eyes.

Deeks got up, watching the other man straight into his eyes as he started removing his wetsuit, letting the sun kissing his bare chest "What do you want, Bates?" he asked harshly, he couldn't see any good coming from the meeting with his LAPD boss, sensing some bad news coming.

"I need your help, Deeks" Bates told him, gravely.

"I thought you had agreed that my place was with NCIS... and that you didn't need me anymore" Deeks' brows furrowed, trying to figure out the real reason why Bates was here. He had hoped that after the whole mess with Clarence Fisk's case, he had closed with doing operation with LAPD, but sadly, it seemed he was wrong.

"I thought that too... it's been a year and we survived without you, probably as good as you did without us" the lieutenant was talking without any hint of irony "But this is different, Deeks. I need your help"

The blond detective shook his head in the same way dogs did that after getting out of the water, he simply did to annoy his superior, then he got out of the wetsuit. Grabbing a towel, he dried himself off, starting from his chest and arms "I think I have already asked you, what do you want, Bates?"

"Deeks, Brad Singleton is dead" Bates' voice was low and serious as he locked his glance on the younger man standing in front of him "His body has been found this night in a little alley, at Inglewood"

Deeks' face whitened hearing the news. Brad Singleton had been his first partner when he got out of the Academy and the one who taught him most of the things he knew about his job. But mostly he was one of the few true friends he had in LAPD, not to mention one of the best undercover agents he had ever worked with "What? But... how... no... I..." his hand ran through his hair as hundreds of memories flashed in front of his eyes "What happened?" he asked then with a steady voice, steadier than he even imagined it to be considering the storm that had just exploded inside of him "And what the hell was he doing at Inglewood?"

Bates bowed his head, not liking at all what he was going to say. He didn't like as well, losing any of his men and Brad Singleton was one of the best he had ever had under his command "He was working undercover, but he went under not more than four days ago, I didn't even know he had taken contact with the men he was supposed to investigate on… another precinct had already lost another man in this operation. I wouldn't have asked you if it was not important. Even if it cost a lot to me to admit it, you're the best undercover agent LAPD has… that's why I need you in this"

A bitter chuckle escaped Deeks' lips "Wow, I bet you are truly desperate…" his expression was serious and his eyes dark as ever.

"You don't need to be cheeky! I'm not in the mood Deeks! This is a serious matter…" Bates couldn't go on, because the blond detective stepped in front of him, anger could be easily read on his face.

"And you think I don't know…? Brad is dead, do you think there's something not serious in that? He is…" he paused, looking at the sky, fighting the sadness that was gripping at his heart "He was too good to be kept by surprise… damn it! It was not supposed to end like this…" his voice cracked up, even if he didn't want it to happen, not here, not in front of Bates.

Monty seemed to feel the discomfort and the deep sorrow coming from his owner's words and scratched his head against the cop's leg, baying sadly.

"It's ok buddy… I'm good" Deeks told his dog, caressing him behind his ears, knowing that Monty loved this.

"Deeks, I know you and Brad were friends and this is why I would like to have you on this case…"

"Bates, I'm not saying that I'm going to do this, but if I will ever do that, it will only be for Brad, not for you" the blond detective said, without even looking at his superior.

"Fair enough" Bates nodded, sensing that the younger cop had already taken his decision. He knew that Deeks' loyalty was too big and that there was nothing more that he wanted than getting justice for his friend. Justice, not vengeance… "Why don't you stop by my office and take a look at what we've got so far about this case?"

"I… I need to talk to Hetty first" the blond cop said mechanically, not looking forward the conversation with his boss at NCIS.

"Of course… and I leave you the honor to do it" the lieutenant told him smirking "That woman can be so damn scary… and I am not eager to end in her bad graces"

"You're very brave Bates…" Deeks' voice was nothing more than a whisper and had lost all of his cockiness; without even realizing it, his legs failed him and he found himself sitting on the sand.

Bates laid a hand on his shoulder and without adding anything else, he left.

The young cop, bent his legs and rested his elbows on his knees, running his hands through his hair when realization of what Bates had told him hit him "What the hell, Brad? Why did you do something so stupid? You were not supposed to end like this… you're too damn good for this, too damn good…" he felt a lonely tear rolling down his cheek.

Once again, Monty felt that something was wrong with his owner and he put his muzzle on Deeks' lap, looking at him with his big dark eyes, whining.

"Thank you, Buddy… thank you…" the cop told his furry friend, then after casting one last glance at the ocean, buried his face into his knees and let go all of his sorrow.

* * *

"Good morning Kensi" Callen said to his teammate as they met each other in the parking lot outside the mission "You look… good"

"Good morning Callen" Kensi greeted her friend with a full smile on her face "I had a relaxing night… a long bubble bath, I watched my favorite TV shows, I indulged in all my sugary treats… and I slept the entire night. That's what I call a detoxing night"

"Wow, sounds your perfect night…" the blue eyed leader winked at her, glad to see her finally relaxed. In the last few days, during the last case, they all had been tense like violin chords, but fortunately it was all behind their backs.

"Oh yes, absolutely perfect… and no Deeks annoying me" she laughed out loud.

"You'll break his heart saying that" Callen studied her, he was aware of the deep bond his two younger teammates had formed and he was sure that this was Kensi's subtle way to say that she had missed her partner. In good or bad, she always found a way to put Deeks' name into the conversation. Smiling, he added "I think I'll tell him that…"

"Oh no need. I'll tell him myself!" she smirked back while she opened the door to his friend "After you"

"Thank you"

They walked side by side towards their desks, finding Sam already sitting at his, typing on his computer.

"Morning Sam" Kensi greeted him, placing her bag on her desk.

"Kensi, G" the ex-Seal told them, not taking his glance away from the screen of his laptop.

"Hey, big guy… what are you up to?" Callen wondered, furrowing his brows with curiosity.

"I'm looking for a place to spend the weekend… next weekend. Remember G?"

"Oh yes… your anniversary!" the blue eyed leader said triumphantly.

"Yes… and I want it to be perfect!" Sam continued what he was doing, too busy running through pages of resorts and flight plans.

"Sam, have you seen Deeks?" Kensi asked out of nowhere "I thought he was already here. I saw his car outside"

The ex-Seal lifted his head and with a glance indicated Hetty's office "He was already there when I arrived half an hour ago"

The female agent, frowned, unable to hide her worry. It took her just one look to understand that something was not right with her partner. Deeks was sitting in front of Hetty, leaned forward, his forearms resting on his legs. His shoulders were hunched under an invisible weight. She tried to read her boss' lips but it was harder, like Hetty knew she was going to attempt of doing that. She only caught a couple of words, that put together didn't make any sense. _No, operation, team, tomorrow_. What was happening here? "Do any of you have an idea of what's going on? Deeks was here earlier than Sam, and this is a miracle, and he looks like he has just received the worst of the news"

"Oh don't look at me, Kensi, I'm groping in the dark as much as you do…" Callen told her, putting his hands in the air in sign of surrender "Sam?"

"Same here. They've been like that since I came here, but from the look of it, it seems like Hetty is scolding a bad child…" the ex-Seal gave his opinion, but sensed that there was more to this.

"Don't know… there's something I can't put my fingers on. He's not behaving like Deeks… something is wrong with him" Kensi stopped when something crossed her mind "Hey… it's not that she is firing him again? Sending him back to LAPD? Because ok, he lost it a couple of times during the last case, but we all did it, we all have been affected by that… she can't send him back only because of that"

"No, I don't think it's that, Hetty would have told me about it…" Callen spoke calmly but he was starting to be uneasy as well. Just the idea of Deeks being sent away made him feel sad. In spite of the rough beginnings, the shaggy detective had grown on him, probably as much as he had grown on Sam "Maybe it's time to find out what's going on there…" he was walking to Hetty's office, when Deeks got up and moved towards them, a hand passed through his hair and he looked tired.

"Hey" the cop greeted his team.

"Deeks…" Kensi stepped in front of him, unable to hide her worry "Are you… are you ok? What happened?"

Her partner gave her a weak smile that didn't even reach his eyes "I'm good, Kensi"

"Sorry, but I don't believe you" she insisted, desperately wanting to find out what was bothering him.

"Look, I… I have to go now, I… I have things to set up…" he started but Sam stopped him.

"Deeks, what the hell are you talking about?" the ex-Seal grabbed his arm so they could stare into each other's eyes and he was surprised to find so much sorrow into them.

"Deeks… what's going on?" Callen told him, anxiety was growing inside of him.

Deeks sighed deeply, once again his hand played with his hair, a clear sign of his nervousness and uneasiness. Then, closing his eyes, he said with a feeble voice "I have to go undercover for a LAPD operation"

"What? You gotta be kidding me! I thought Bates had said that you had done with this!" Kensi protested vehemently, looking for his glance. She hated when he had to do operations for LAPD, because they didn't give him the support he needed, leaving him most of the time, alone, without back-up.

"Kensi, this time… it's different. This time…" the cop bowed again his head, unable to look at his partner straight in the eyes "… this time is simply different"

She noticed his behavior, there was something he was not telling them, something that had forced him to take this decision and that was making him suffering "Deeks, are you sure you're ok?" she told him, gently, her anger gone, substituted by a deep concern.

Again, he gave her a faint smile "I… am, I'm good, but I will be better when this will be over"

Sam and Callen exchanged a wary glance, both realizing that this operation was not something their friend was looking for, but they sensed that it was something he felt obliged to do.

"How long?" the team leader asked, his blue eyes locked on Deeks' ones.

"Don't know… it could be days or… it could be more" the cop didn't want to admit how much he hated walking away from these people who had slowly became a family to him, but deep inside of him, he knew this was the right thing to do; he owed this to Brad… he needed to honor him, doing what he was good at, his job "Look, I… I have some things to discuss with Bates, so I better go down to the precinct"

"When will you…" Kensi couldn't not even finish her question.

"I'll go under in two, three days… so if you excuse me, I…" the cop's eyes locked on his partner, he could see the concern, the hurt into them and this made him feeling even worse. He was not good at saying goodbye, especially not to her… he cared too much about her and the only thought of not being at her side, walking day after day with her, hurt him "I… I'll keep in touch" he murmured, his glance still on her, unable to take it away. He even walked backwards for a couple of steps, as he truly didn't want to leave, then he grabbed his courage by the horns and turned around, stepping out of the Mission.

"What the hell just happened?" Sam wondered left and right, looking very confused.

"I truly don't know" Callen echoed, even more puzzled if it was possible.

"Oh… no way!" Kensi exclaimed walking to the door, attempting to follow her partner "I won't let him go away like this!"

"Miss Blye, stop!" Hetty told her with an authoritarian tone that didn't leave any space for a reply "Mr. Deeks needs to be alone today"

"But Hetty… I… I can't let him leave like that… he… he needs me, I can feel it"

"Miss Blye, I said that Mr. Deeks needs to be alone today, but I warmly suggest you to be there for him tomorrow. It's going to be a tough day for him and I'm sure he'll appreciate a familiar presence beside him" the Operations Manager said, sighing slightly.

"Hetty, do you mind explaining us what's going on here?" Callen was curios, he had expected Hetty to be mad as much as he was "I thought Deeks has done with LAPD operations"

"Yes, indeed he had, but this particular situation requires his particular skills"

"Hetty, what happened to Deeks? Why did you say he would probably need some… support?" Kensi was unable to hide her concern anymore.

"There's an operation going on from quite some time by now, but LAPD has not found yet a way to get through it. Two cops have already lost their lives, one of them a good friend of Mr. Deeks, his first partner, for what I'm aware of…" the Operations Manager started explaining, sitting down on the couch, his voice grave and extremely serious.

"Brad Singleton is dead?"

"Did you know him Kensi?" Hetty wondered, raising one eyebrow.

"No, not personally at least… I talked with him only once, on the phone, but Deeks talked a lot about him" the junior agent finally understood and her desire to be with her partner grew even more "He said Brad taught him a lot of the things he knew about being a cop… What happened to him, Hetty?"

"According to what Mr. Deeks told me, Detective Singleton has been sent undercover not more than four days ago, but he's been found dead in an alley in Inglewood last night. Killed, one bullet through the heart… he didn't have any chance"

Silence fell into the room, when everyone was thinking the same exact things "Do you think this operation is dangerous, Hetty? More dangerous than others I mean…" Callen voiced the fear they all shared.

"Mr. Callen, as you well know, every undercover operation is dangerous, especially the longer ones… but I am afraid to say, that Mr. Deeks won't be put in a nice position…"

"Oh come on Hetty, tell us something more, don't play with us like we're children…" Sam intervened, venting his frustration to be left in the dark.

"I will tell you more after I'll be finished talking with Lieutenant Bates, but I can tell you one thing of which I'm very sure" Hetty paused looking from one of her agents to another "I won't let go Mr. Deeks undercover without a proper back-up, so you better prepare yourself, because I have the firm intention for you all to act as his back-up"

A grateful smile curved Callen's lips and his partner shared the same sentiment.

"Miss Blye, tomorrow will be Detective Singleton's funeral day. I think you should pay a visit to your partner before that, to check on him…" the Operations Manager suggested; she was worried herself about the blond detective, she had seen the anger and the desperation that had clouded his eyes when he was talking to her in her office, but mostly she hadn't liked the deep sadness filling his words, the sorrow clenching his heart. These were not the perfect emotions for someone who was going to start a difficult operation. Hetty was aware that, in spite of the appearance, Mr. Deeks was very professional, but sometimes personal involvements were double-edged blades "Now, would you mind going back to your work? You had reports to fill" and with that she left, shaking her head "And here I thought this could have been a quiet day" she told herself while she trotted towards her office.

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So this is how everything started... I have to warn you, it'll be a long journey.

Please let me know what you think... thanks in advance.


	3. Chapter 3

I will never get tired to say that, but thanks for the reviews and alerts, I truly appreciate every one of them :)

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Street Life - Chapter 3

When Kensi climbed up the stairs that lead to her partner's apartment, she felt a bit uneasy, like she was not in her environment. The fact was that she didn't know what she was going to say to Deeks, she didn't know in which mental condition he would be… and she was far from being the best person at comforting people. She had never liked long speeches, the whole hug thing, these were not her strong points, but she simply knew that she had to be here, because Deeks would have done the same for her. Deeks did the same for her in more than one occasion… even if she didn't want to admit it, he had been around whenever she had felt the need, without even asking for it. Her partner had this great ability of knowing always what she needed, sometimes it was a friend to talk to, some others just someone to use as a punching bag, verbal or physical, some other times a silence presence next to her, sometimes simply someone who could make her laugh, someone who could surprise her even with an innocent gesture like giving her a bottle of water or her favorite pastry.

Today it was her turn to be there for him, so taking a deep breath, she knocked at the door. She was ready for everything but not for this.

Deeks opened the door, standing in front of her in his uniform, his badge pinned on his chest, right above a couple of decorations he had received and of which Kensi knew nothing. On the right side of his shirt there was the plate with his name engraved on it, Detective's patches adorned the long sleeves of the shirt.

His hair had been pushed back and he was ready to wear the hat he was nervously holding in his hand.

"Kensi, I… I didn't expect you" he said with a low voice "Come in" he gestured his partner to step inside his apartment.

Kensi hadn't put a foot inside that Monty rushed towards her, jumping all over her happily "Hey you, Monty" she knelt in front of him, petting him, scratching him behind the ears, knowing how much the dog liked it. When finally Monty was satisfied of her attentions, she stood up, looking straight at her partner. She was still stunned by his appearance in the uniform, it was the first time she had ever seen him wearing it and he looked good in it, well actually more than good. He looked stunning "I will never say again that men in uniforms are overrated" she told him, glad to see a little smile curving his lips.

"Thanks" Deeks replied shyly, moving in front of the mirror, putting his hat on "I don't even remember last time I wore this… and frankly, I would not looking for wearing it knowing for which occasion I put it on…"

Still shocked by how different her partner looked in that uniform, trying to calm her heart down, she moved towards him, gently leaning a hand on his arm "How are you doing? Hetty told us about Brad… I'm so sorry Deeks" she squeezed his forearm, to let him know she was there for him, wishing that he could feel her presence and be comforted by that.

He turned his face to look at her, straight in her eyes; there was so much sorrow, so much pain in those blue orbs that broke Kensi's heart.

"Deeks, tell me something… I'm here, for you…" she told him timidly, but firmly.

Deeks first bowed his head, biting his lip, then he grabbed his hat, taking it off and throwing it against the wall "Hell!" he cried out as a lonely tear ran down his cheek.

His reaction surprised his partner for a moment, not used to see him like that "Deeks…"

Deeks sank into his couch, holding his head in his hands "I don't know Kensi… I don't know how I'm feeling. I really don't know"

Kensi sat beside him, putting a calming hand on his shoulder "It's ok to feel confused. I can imagine what you're going through… I know how much he meant to you"

"He's my friend Kensi… besides you all at NCIS and Ray, he's the only friend I have ever had and if I'm good at what I'm doing, a lot of merits go to him. I was just a…" his voice broke, but he hold the tears that were trying to find their way out "No one could stand me when I arrived at the precinct, most of the older officers, knowing that I was a lawyer previously, looked at me as I was a spoiled brat… others simply couldn't stand me because I… I talked too much and told them what I thought on their faces…"

"Oh well, I don't find hard to believe that… you always talk too much" she told him, making him smile for a moment.

"But Brad was different, he… saw me for what I was, taking me under his wings and teaching me everything he knew… I… I owe him so much" the cop locked his glance oh his partner's "It's not fair… he didn't deserve to end like this" he got up abruptly, exhaling heavily to keep his emotions at bay "It's not fair at all"

Kensi saw his defenses crumbling down, one after another and it melted her heart seeing her partner, her friend, like this. It was so rare seeing him in this way, usually he was able to deflect every problem with a joke, with a witty remark, but this time it was different. This time he was alone, with his pain… and no one should be alone in situation like this one. So, she stood up and without saying a word, she engulfed him in an embrace "I know, Deeks… I know"

He hugged her back, burying his face on her shoulder, sobbing, unable to find anything to tell her, anything to say. When finally Deeks broke apart, he felt lighter. There was still a big hole in his heart, but he felt like the heavy weight hunching his shoulders was gone "Thank you" he told his partner, softly, with that note in his voice that she could not resist.

"You're welcome. We're friends, no? There's no need to thank me…" Kensi gave him a sweet smile, sensing his scrutinizing blue eyes on her. Embarrassed by that, she pretended to fix the collar of his shirt and the tie "Here, let me help you. You… wrinkled the shirt"

"Thanks… Brad loved tidy uniforms. He always fixed mine, because it was always a mess" the cop chuckled bitterly, then became serious, a blinded determination could be read into his eyes "I… I will find who did this to him, Kensi. I… Brad deserves justice and so does his family. I… I have to do this, I can't step back or I'll feel, for the rest of my life, like I have betrayed him "

"I know…. And this is why we'll have your back in this operation. Hetty talked to Bates…" she said understanding him, understanding his desire, but this didn't mean she was not worried "You just promise me that you won't do anything stupid…"

Deeks lifted his eyebrow skeptically.

"Well, not more stupid than you usually do…" she corrected herself, sticking out her tongue playfully "Brad wouldn't have wanted you to put your life in danger because of him"

"Yeah… you're right" he shook his head, smiling, as he was remembering something that warmed his heart "You two would have gotten along very well…"

"I'm sorry I didn't have the opportunity to meet him, but I liked him when I talked to him…"

The cop was surprised by her statement "You talked to him? When… I mean, why I don't know anything about this…?"

"He called you once, a night that you crashed at my house… You fell asleep on the couch, your phone rang… I thought it was someone from work so I picked it up… we spent half an hour talking…" she was a bit embarrassed to admit this because she felt, and still feeling, that she had invaded his privacy "I… I hope you're not mad at me…"

He flashed one of his sweetest smiles, before replying "No, not at all. I'm glad you did it…" then his smile turned into a cunning grin "And I always pick up your calls when you are sleeping. How do you think I know so many things about your mother?"

Kensi this time didn't stop herself and punched her partner "You talked to my mother!"

"Hey, really Kensi? Why wasn't I mad at you and you… punched me instead?"

"Because I know you… and I don't trust you talking with my mother! Man, I wonder what kind of things you pushed her to reveal to you… about me, gah… sometimes I would like to kill you with my bare hands"

Deeks' grin became even wider as he stepped closer "I know when I have to stop Kensi…" he simply told her, leaving her to reflect on the real meaning of those words.

Deeks moved towards the spot where his hat had landed after he had thrown it against the wall, picked it up and wore it "I… I have to go now. Would you like to come with me?" he asked her, almost shyly; he needed her beside him, but he didn't want to be too pushy.

"I will be honored" Kensi simply said, offering him her hand.

The cop took it and slowly they walked outside.

* * *

After the funeral, Deeks stopped by his apartment to change into something more comfortable than his uniform and then joined the rest of the team at the office. Today it was his last day before starting the operation and he could feel the level of his adrenaline raising, as it always happened before going undercover. Leaving his life behind was a weird sensation, becoming a complete different person, putting aside all the things that made him the man he was and turning into someone else… it was hard, but knowing that he was not alone in this made him feel less nervous. Knowing that the team backed him up made the detachment a little bit easier.

Undercover had been his life for years and he never cared too much about it, Deeks knew he was good at it and the satisfaction of putting away the bad guys overcame all the bad stuff coming from living as another man, but after he had started working with NCIS, something changed… maybe he changed.

The team had become his family and leaving your family behind for an unknown period of time was hard, harder than he had ever imagined it to be. The simple idea of being away from them hurt him, clenching his stomach… but he had to do it. He simply had to do it, he was aware of it.

The moment he stepped through the door of the Mission, he found Sam's and Callen's eyes on him, as they wanted to check on him, to see with their own eyes if he was ok or not. Deeks was sure Kensi had already updated them about how the morning had gone, about the funeral and all, but this didn't stop them to worry about him. In a certain sense he felt grateful for that, because it meant that they cared about him, but in another way, he felt a bit cornered by their attentions, like he didn't have a way out.

"Guys" he said to greet them

"Hey Deeks" Callen told him, moving towards him "We're sorry man…"

"Thanks" the cop simply said, appreciating the concern he read in the blue eyed man.

"How did it go?" asked Sam without any hint of irony, he could understand what it meant for Deeks to lose a good friend, he had lost some himself in his years in the Seal and it was never easy.

"It… went… Funerals are exactly what you expect them to be… but I think Brad would have liked this. I'm glad they didn't do anything too pompous, it would have been an insult to him"

"Family?" insisted the ex-Seal.

"A wife and two girls… tough bunch" the cop answered, smiling faintly and the memory of Brad's wife and daughters holding one another getting strength from one another "He taught them well…" passing a hand through his hair, he sat at his desk, fixing an undefined spot in front of him, lost in his thoughts.

"You ok?" Kensi moved in front of him, studying him intently. She had seen how much this day had affected him. During the ceremony her partner had tried to control his emotions, keeping them closed inside of him, hiding them behind a stoic mask, but knowing him so well, she knew he was hurting, deeply.

Deeks gave her a little smile "No" he answered sincerely "Not at all… but it will get better"

"Deeks, I… you know I'm here…"

"Yeah, I know… and thank you for that, for the fact that you've been there, with me… it means a lot to me" he spoke honestly, the pain he felt in his chest loosened his tongue, removing his mental brakes as he opened completely to her.

"My pleasure…" she told him, bowing her head with a little smile curving her lips, a bit embarrassed.

A whistle interrupted their conversation "Guys, Hetty wants you all in Ops" Eric's serious tone puzzled them, it was uncommon for the tech not showing up with a smile on his face.

Silently the four teammates climbed up the stairs and walked into the Ops room.

"Hetty, what's up?" Callen asked taking his usual place in front of the big screen.

"I would like to discuss with you the details of the operation" Hetty's eyes landed on Deeks who nodded grateful. She was worried about him as well, at least as much as her team was. She had discussed with lieutenant Bates about the case and she didn't like it at all, not a single bit. Having one of her men in danger was something she could even get used to, in their line of work, but this operation was extremely dangerous and had already cost too many lives. In addition to all of this, she hadn't like the fact that Bates had used detective Singletone's death as a trigger with Deeks, to force him to do this job. A personal involvement could cloud the judgment and blind even the most skilled man, and in a difficult operation like this one, this could be very harmful "Mr. Beale, please"

"Ok, in the last six months there was a long series of mysterious deaths in the streets of Los Angeles, mostly of them homeless men and women who were based in the same neighborhood, around 31st Street" the tech started getting everyone's attention "It appears that there is an organs trafficking behind it that depends on a man named Julius Schneider, a German born, who was once a doctor but who has been banned because of illegal practice of his skills and of medicines. The first undercover agent has been sent as a possible buyer, but he has been found dead a couple of weeks later and the same goes for Detective Singleton…" Eric paused when his eyes fell on Deeks.

The cop tensed when the name of his friend came out, but he tried to hide any discomfort keeping his glance locked on the screen as he spoke "Brad was under just for few days… I can't believe he made such a big mistake to cost his life… there must be someone who warned Schneider because I can't see any other reasons…"

"Do you think there's a mole?" Sam wondered curiously, not liking at all the idea of a mole.

"It might be… it must be" there was something in the cop's voice, an harrowing note, that touched Kensi deeply, a blinded determination to prove that his friend didn't make a mistake. "Brad, was not a probie, he was experienced. He would have never let anyone believe he was not who he claimed to be. He was meticulous, too careful to every detail…"

"Miss Jones, can you make a detailed search about Julius Schneider? Finances, friends, relatives… everything. Trace his phone and check all of his contacts… I agree with Mr. Deeks here; four days without any contact with Schneider are too few for Detective Singleton's cover to be blown" the Operations Manager intervened, looking at the blond Detective, studying him intently "Mr. Deeks, what about your cover?" she asked to go back to the original subject of the conversation.

"I discussed the case with Bates and I thought that going under as a possible buyer won't take me anywhere and after… after what happened to Brad I think they will be more suspicious" the cop explained keeping his eyes on the screen, not wanting to look at his friend directly while he told them about his plan "We have to see everything from another prospective"

"NO!" Kensi shouted almost unconsciously "Deeks, you can't do that…" she knew where he was going, she knew what he had in mind.

"It's the only chance Kensi, the only way not to create too many suspects…"

"Ok, you two, do you mind stopping a second and tell us what are you talking about?" Sam had a vague idea of what Deeks' plan was, but he simply hoped that was not what was going to happen.

"Mr. Deeks is going undercover as a homeless man, living on the streets, trying to earn the confidence of other homeless people, maybe even getting answers from whoever knew the men and women who had died…" Hetty said as her eyes stopped on the cop's blue ones, not sure she liked what she saw into them.

"But this is too dangerous!" Kensi protested, every attempt of hiding her concern completely gone.

"Every undercover assignment has its hazards, but it never stopped us in the past…" Deeks retorted with a calm voice.

"This doesn't mean that we like this" it was Sam who surprisingly expressed his doubts "You're throwing yourself into the lion's den… are you sure you want to do that?"

The cop turned his head to face the ex-Seal, giving him a short answer that was intended to close any argument about this matter "Yes, I am"

"I convinced LAPD to let us handle this whole operation, so Mr. Callen, you'll act at his… handler in this operation. You'll be Mr. Deeks' only contact" the Operations Manager told the team leader "And I suggested Lt. Bates not to tell anyone about this op, not even to his trustworthy collaborators"

"Good" Callen said as he exchanged an acknowledging glance with the blond detective.

A little hint of disappointment veiled Kensi's eyes, she had hoped she could have been her partner's handler; she needed to be that, but looking at the plan with an objective eye, she knew Callen was the right and obvious choice. So she sighed, closing her eyes, silently praying that everything was going to be fine… but the more she thought about this, the more restless she became. She had a bad feeling about it and in spite of all the attempts she made to shake it off, she was not able to relax.

Silence fell into the room, everyone lost in thoughts.

"Ok, I… I better go now. I… I have some things to fix before starting the operation" Deeks started, his eyes moved from one of his teammates to another in quick succession, sensing the worry in their expressions "I… see you soon"

Callen moved towards him, shaking hand with him and giving him a quick hug "We'll see each other soon… and remember, if I'll see just one thing that I won't like, I'll take you out"

"Fair enough" the cop nodded, silently thanking the team leader.

Sam moved closer "Just don't do anything stupid, ok?"

"Hey, you're wounding me here Sam… I never do anything stupid" a cheeky grin curved Deeks' lips, not offended at all by the ex-Seal's statement; actually he was touched by the big man's affection towards him. The cop's eyes then fell on his partner and this time, he could feel his heart beating madly in his chest, his throat getting dry "Kensi… I…"

Kensi was staring at him, unsure of her own emotions. She knew she could not stop him from doing this, aware of how important this operation was for him, but on the other hand, she was worried… something inside of her wanted to stop him, to tell him that there was another way, that his life was not worth it, but another part of her knew that trying to stop him was useless and every attempt she could make to do it, would only unnerve him "Just be careful…"

He smiled fully aware that had cost her a lot to say those few words "You know me Fern… I'll be back"

What he said, made Kensi chuckle, remembering the last time he told the same exact words "Yes, but don't count on me to save you this time"

"Really? I like too much when you're my knight in shining armor!"

"And you're too much a damsel in distress" Kensi teased him; this was their way to behave around each other, joking, bantering… their way to show how much they cared about each other.

"Yes… right" he locked his eyes on hers, going deeply through her, touching her soul, as always.

"Just… come back" she whispered, before turning on her heels and leaving Ops.

Sam and Callen watched the entire scene then excused themselves and left as well.

Deeks passed hand through his hair, taking a deep breath.

"Mr. Deeks, I understand your reasons, but no one will blame you if you step out of this" Hetty noticed the younger man's discomfort "You know that this is not going to be a funny trip, no one will think less of you, if this is what you're worried about"

"No… I won't step out of it. No way" his words were nothing more than a whisper.

"Could you…" the cop hesitated before going on talking "Could you do me a favor?"

"If I can…"

"Keep an eye on Kensi… I… I know she can take care of herself, but… but…" Deeks was not able to continue.

"Of course I'll do that, with pleasure" the diminutive woman studied the man in front of her, seeing his eyes sparkling in the dim light of Ops room. She didn't need to add much more, she knew why the cop was asking this favor to her, she knew how much he cared for his partner, how close the two of them were.

"Thanks" he said grateful, as a heavy weight had been removed from his chest. He was walking towards the exit door, when the Operations Manager stopped him.

"And Mr. Deeks… I count on seeing you soon" she told him "Don't disappoint me"

"Have I ever disappointed you?" he flashed one of his smiles and then, still grinning, he walked away.

"No, Mr. Deeks… you never disappointed me, so please… don't start now" Hetty told herself, inhaling deeply "Just don't start now"

* * *

And so it begins... I hope the background I created is not too boring, but I thought it was important to show in what kind of mental state Deeks was when the operation started and mostly to explain the reasons why this operation was so important for him. In the next chapter we'll finally see him... in the field. I wish you'll follow me there ;)

As always let me know what you think, I appreciate your opinions.


	4. Chapter 4

Once again thanks for the reviews, I'm just sorry I can't reply to the ones posted as Guest, but this doen't mean I don't appreciate them! It's quite the opposite.

This is where the Operation starts and where we can see Deeks in "action", I hope you enjoy it. (I don't know anything about LA so I don't have any idea whether the places I mentioned exist... sorry about that...)

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 4

It was late autumn, but it was unusually cold for this season in Los Angeles. Meteorologists said it was because of a strange and rare phenomenon that allowed a draft of freezing air coming from the North, to brush partially the coast of California. The inhabitants of the City of Angels had been forced, for this reason, to find warmer clothes to face the weird weather, but not everyone had the opportunity to do it. People living on the streets were not so lucky; they owned just the clothes they were wearing, they had no a roof on their heads and for this reason they found shelter wherever they could to fight the cold. Old warehouses, bridges, repaired alleys, were even more crowded than usual and so were the hundreds of shelters spread all around the city, full of homeless people looking for a hot meal and a place to spend the night.

The 31st Street Shelter was no different. An uncountable number of men and women stood in line, waiting to go inside, all of them carrying everything they possessed and carrying their own personal stories. Milly Freeman was the woman responsible for all of this. She had opened the shelter twenty years ago with the intent of helping as many street people she could, after one of them had tried to save his son's life when the young man had fallen on the ground while walking on a crowded street without any particular reason. Sadly her son didn't make it, but she was so greatful to the man for the effort, when other people didn't even move a single finger, that she decided to dedicate her life to whoever didn't have anyone who could take care of them.

She knew almost everyone who stepped through her door, she always addressed every one of them by their name and she was ready to give her support and her help to anyone asked her, never denying a kind word or a smile to anyone.

She was behind the counter, filling the plates of the people in line with a hot soup, when her eyes caught sight of someone she hadn't seen in quite some time.

"Frankie Boy, what are you doing here?" she told a tall, slender man, with dirty blond hair hidden under a wool hat, an untrimmed beard and a bright smile, in spite of his bad teeth. The man had been a "regular" of this place for months some years ago only to disappear all of the sudden. She didn't know why exactly, but she had been very fond of the young man, there was something different in him, there was something in those ocean blue eyes that had caught immediately her attention "I thought you had finally decided to put some order in your life… and started behaving…"

"Hello Miss Milly…" Frankie Boy flashed another smile as he offered a dirty, trembling hand to shake.

Milly not only grabbed his hand, but engulfed him in a tight embrace. She was a big woman, with strong arms trained by years of hard work and even if she was in her late sixties, she didn't show any sign of physical weakness "Oh come here, boy… you choose the worst moment to go back on the streets. Look at you, you're shaking like a leaf" she broke the embrace, cupping his face "Now, you eat this soup and then you'll wait for me before leaving… I think I can find you a warmer coat than this light jacket"

"Thank you Miss Milly" the blond man replied timidly, bowing his head, he hadn't realized how much he was trembling until now.

"How many times did I tell you to drop the Missy thing, boy?"

"Not enough?" Frankie laughed out loud enjoying his own joke.

"Ah, go have a seat… and remember, don't leave until I'll talk to you… ok, Frankie Boy?" Missy insisted, she wanted to give the young man some warm clothes, but she even wanted to talk to him, trying to understand what happened to him during these past years and why he was back.

"Oh don't worry, Miss Milly. Frankie Boy understood very well.."

This was something else that puzzled the big woman, this continue way to refer at himself in third person, it was something he did all the time but that became more pronounced when he was particularly tired or… when he was high on something. She was aware of Frankie's habit of using some sort of drugs once in a while, of exceeding in the consume of alcohol, she knew he was no saint, but in spite of everything, she could not stop liking him, maybe it was the fact that he reminded her of her dead son or maybe simply the fact that she saw something in him that made her think that he was not a common hobo "Stop being cheeky and out of my way now" she spoke with a gentle smile on her face.

"Miss Milly, do you think Frankie Boy can have a little piece of bread?" he asked, with pleading eyes.

"Of course… over there, can you see that young man with short hair? His name is Thomas and he will give you some bread"

"Thanks Miss Milly" and with that the young man trotted towards another table where Thomas was giving some bread away. When Frankie Boy was right in front of him, he checked behind his back before talking "Hey Callen…"

"Hey Deeks" Callen told his teammate, studying him intently. He knew Deeks was good at his job, well more than good to end under Hetty's radar, but the transformation was stunning even for him. The man in front of him was nothing like the shaggy detective they were used to see every day; this man looked like he had been spending his days on the streets for years, he was dirty, he wore filthy clothes of improbable color and size, he even smelled like someone who was living on the streets for years, thought Callen, smiling slightly. Nothing had been left to chance…

It had been only a week since the cop had gone undercover and this was the way they had choose to keep in touch and exchange information; Deeks had suggested the place and his team leader could clearly see why. He had noticed the warm welcome the woman running the shelter had offered him, realizing that the two of them had probably history.

"Frankie Boy likes bread" the cop said grabbing the loaf of bread Callen was offering him. He added one of his Frankie Boy's trademark laughs just to stay in character and not to arouse suspicion.

"So… what can you tell me?" the blue eyed leader asked, lowering his voice.

"Nothing so far… I made some acquaintances but none of them was able to tell me anything useful; I still don't know whether they are completely in the darkness or simply scared" the cop explained, rubbing his hands and putting them over the plate of the fuming soup, to warm them up.

Only in that moment, Callen noticed how much Deeks was trembling, shaken by cold shivers "Hey, how are you doing? Do you need a heavier coat? It's a bit too cold out there…"

"I'm good… and I can't get a coat from you, people around here will get suspicious" the blond detective smiled, then raised his voice so the men and women around him could hear what he was saying "Miss Milly will take care of Frankie Boy…" he winked at his team leader.

Callen shook his head, once again pleased by how easily Deeks could change from one personality to another, it was… a gift "What's the story with her?"

"Miss Milly is a good person, too good sometimes… she took care of Frankie during one of my undercover operations years ago" he grinned pleased, turning to cast a look at the older woman "She has a soft spot for him"

"Deeks, Hetty asked that you and I could meet here every three, four days at the latest. She is not happy with you being out of touch for an entire week"

Deeks chuckled, shaking his head "Ok, tell her that I will come here every four days, but I can't promise you anything… if I found some place, around some people who could give me information, I would not be able to get away so easily… just don't go into panic mood too soon. Ok? Wait a little bit before looking for me"

"Oh yes, as it would be easy to stop Kensi from doing that" Callen joked, realizing that his words didn't obtain the result he was looking for. Deeks got serious and his eyes lost any sign of joke "Hey, what's up?"

"How's Kensi doing? Is she mad at me?" the cop wondered with a voice that was nothing more than a whisper.

"Mad at you? Nah… she will never be mad at you. She's…" Callen paused, staring intently at the younger man "She's just worried about you…"

"Just… just tell her that I'm good and that I can take care of myself" the cop smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes and couldn't hide a veil of sadness.

"Of course… don't worry"

"Ok, Frankie Boy needs to eat now!" Deeks exclaimed gingerly, grabbing the trail with the soup and the bread. He nodded to Callen and was turning around when the team leader stopped him, grabbing his jacket.

"Be careful Deeks, this is not a joke…"

The cop stared at his friend gravely "I never thought it was" and with that he walked away, feeling a sense of void engulfing his heart. Callen was his only contact to what was his real world, to what was his life. Leaving him behind, saying goodbye to him was like saying goodbye to everything dear to him. Deeks knew it was just temporary, but he couldn't help himself, he couldn't stop feeling like someone was stealing a bit of his life, day after day.

* * *

After he finished eating, sitting in one of the most hidden corner of the shelter, where he could have a clear view of everyone and everything, Deeks waited for Milly as he had promised her when she had greeted him a couple of hours ago. He had liked the woman at first sight, he had liked her values, the way she took care of other not-so-lucky people without asking for a word of appreciation or of a reward. She was simply glad when she could help a human being to live another day decently, with a roof on his head for the night or with food in his stomach.

The cop admired her, admired her strength, admired that she didn't stop in front of the adversities, in front of the tough life of this neighborhood… he had been on the verge of telling her what he really was, who he really was, but he feared she could feel betrayed by him and he didn't want to lose her friendship for anything.

When he saw her approaching him, Deeks flashed one of his smiles, one of Frankie Boy's smiles in this case "Hello Miss Milly" he greeted her.

The older woman was carrying a winter coat in her hands and she laid it on the table while she took a seat in a chair right in front of the young man "This is for you Frankie Boy… Maybe it's a bit bigger, but at least it will take you warm"

"Thank you Miss Milly" the cop picked up the coat and without even getting up, he put it on, over the jacket he was already wearing.

Milly studied him, studied his features and her heart became a bit sad. Frankie Boy had been a good looking man in his past, that was for sure, but he was wasting his life living like this and she couldn't stand it "I hoped I would have never seen you here, Frankie Boy…"

"You didn't like Frankie Boy anymore?"

She reached for his hand, holding it tightly "No, I will always like Frankie Boy, but I hoped you were back to a normal life… where have you been, son?" she asked affectionately.

He shook his head as he didn't want to answer the question. He couldn't tell her that his operation ended and he actually came back to his normal life "Frankie Boy doesn't want to talk about this… Frankie Boy is happy to be here…"

Milly was even sadder now, she thought that this young man had found his way to go back to a normal life, instead he had probably be in a worse place than this, to a worse life than this. She felt his hand shaking and saw him trembling "You're back to… using Frankie Boy?"

Again he shook his head "No… Frankie Boy… no… Frankie Boy can't do that anymore. He didn't have money and… didn't want to go back there… no... no… no.." Frankie pulled his hand away from hers and held his head with both of his hands.

Milly's heart clenched, what happened to him during this years? What he had been forced to do to get the money that scared him like this? Smiling gently, she cupped his face so his blue eyes could stare into hers "It's ok, Frankie Boy. You're here now… with me. Do you have a place to stay for the night? You know there's always a bed for you here…"

"Frankie Boy is good… he has a place to stay"

"Good…" she caressed his face, feeling him relaxing at her touch.

"Frankie Boy missed Miss Milly" he said grinning cunningly. This was not a lie, Deeks had missed Milly Freeman deeply. He had thought about showing up here at the shelter, offering some help, but he knew that if he did that, the woman would have recognized him.

"And I missed you Frankie Boy…" she continued caressing his face, like a caring mother could do "But boy, you chose the wrong moment to come back here"

"Miss Milly doesn't want Frankie Boy here?"

"No, I'm really glad you're here, but… it's a bad period, son. Very bad… it's cold outside, very cold and…" she hesitated.

Deeks saw the deep concern in the woman's eyes and sensed why she was behaving like that, so he decided to press her a little bit. "Miss Milly is worried… but Frankie Boy is a good boy. He could take care of himself" he hit his chest with a couple of punches, proudly, as he wanted to show how strong he was.

"Oh I know that you are a big boy, but something bad happened in the last period in this neighborhood… there are evil men outside" Milly's expression became grave and her eyes couldn't hide her fear and her concern "They have killed people, Frankie Boy… people like you"

He furrowed his brows, as he didn't understand what the woman was telling him, but it was just a way the cop was using to let her go on, to see how much she knew about this whole story "People like Frankie Boy?"

"Yes, someone like you, someone who lives on the streets, someone who doesn't know how to defend himself… someone who doesn't have a family that could look after him"

"But Miss Milly looks after Frankie Boy…" he said, flashing another trademark smile "And I can defend myself…" he winked, sounding even more childish than usual.

Once again, she cupped his face, tighter this time "Yes, I look after you…" her expression softened as she stared at those blue eyes. She had always loved his eyes, always so bright, so full of life in spite of the kind of life he was living, in spite of having nothing. There was a joy, a sparkle into them that had always fascinated her… those eyes belonged to someone very smart, someone who had a strong personality. She didn't know why, but she had always thought that there was much more behind the Frankie-Boy-appearance, that there was a very smart and bright man behind that… that Frankie Boy was just a façade to protect himself "I will always look after you, Frankie Boy, but you have to promise me that you'll be very careful, that you won't trust people too easily… if you see something you don't like, you have to come to me immediately ok? I told you, Frankie Boy. There are bad people around here, in the neighborhood, people who don't hesitate to kill, people who don't hesitate to hurt men and women"

Deeks felt his stomach knotting, he felt so bad lying to this woman… he was almost shocked by her affection towards him, towards someone who most of the people despised and simply ignored, so he gave her one of his sweetest smile, a full smile with his fake bad teeth "Frankie Boy will be careful, because he doesn't want to make Miss Milly sad…" he put a hand on the woman's face, caressing her, like a kid would do to his mother.

Milly took it in her big, strong hands and tightened her grip on it, silently telling the young man how much she cared about him, that she was there for him "Good boy… you're my good boy"

"Frankie Boy has to go now… I promised Jason to be back before the night"

"Who is Jason?" the woman asked puzzled.

"Jason is Frankie Boy's friend… he offered me to share his place. And he's big and strong… he was a boxer, Miss Milly… he is very strong!" a childish grin curved Frankie's lips "Do you know him, Miss Milly?"

The woman smiled, realizing who was the man Frankie Boy was talking about and she felt a bit relieved. Jason Goodwin was a celebrity in the neighborhood. He was indeed a former boxer who lost all of his money because of his manager that had stolen all of it, leaving him penniless. Destroyed he had started living on the streets, but he was still very respected and feared by everyone. If Frankie Boy ended under his protective wings, he was safe, at least safer than he would be if he was all alone "Yes, I know him, Frankie Boy… and he is a very good man"

"Yes… Jason tells Frankie Boy a lot of stories, always makes him feel safe"

Milly got up, a bit reassured "Now you wait a moment, I think I can find something you can give to Jason... ok?"

"Uhuh… Frankie Boy can wait five more minutes" the younger man told her, still smiling.

"Ok, I'll be back in a moment" Milly walked away only to return ten minutes later carrying a blanket and a paper bag with a thermos of hot coffee and some bread "Here, take this. You and Jason might need all of this during the night"

The young man's eyes wet at the umpteenth display of Milly's affection towards him so he launched himself towards her, hugging her tightly, almost dragging her to the ground because of the strength he put in the gesture "Thank you Miss Milly. Thank you for taking care of Frankie Boy…"

The woman hugged him back, without caring at all about the fact that he smelled terribly and his clothes were dirty, something that would have stopped everyone but her "Always, Frankie Boy… I will always look after you. Now go…. And say hi to Jason for me"

"Thank you Miss Milly…" and with that the young man picked up all of his stuff and walked away from the shelter.

Milly observed him leaving, sensing a void inside of her heart. She couldn't still understand why, but Frankie Boy had touched her deeply into her soul "Be safe my boy. Just be safe"

* * *

Deeks was walking along the narrow alleys that lead to the place he was going to share with Jason for the night, the blanket hidden under his two-sizes bigger coat and the paper bag tight in his hand. He was almost arrived when he noticed his new friend talking with a couple of men. His detective instinct kicked in, so he stopped behind the corner, trying to eavesdrop what had been said, but sadly his hidden spot was too far away.

The two men were elegantly dressed, with heavy wool coats that almost reached their feet, leather gloves protected their hands from the chilling air. They looked like fishes out of the water and there was something that he didn't like at all in the way they were standing in front of his companion who was sitting on the ground instead.

Annoyed by the fact that he couldn't distinctively hear a single word, the cop passed at his Plan B.

"Jason! Hey man!" he shouted happily, walking gingerly unsteady on his legs "Look what Frankie Boy got you!" he slurred, glad to have taken a couple of sips of the whiskey he carried in the secret pocket of his jacket and to have spilled a bit on his coat. It was his secret to look always almost drunk in front of the others.

Staggering, he approached the two men, crashing against one of them "Oh sorry man!"

The first of the two men, the one who was wearing a light grey coat, pushed Deeks away with repulsion "Get out of my way you stinky skunk!" he did that with such vehemence that the cop fell to the ground.

"Please, don't hurt Frankie Boy… please sir" the cop curled into a ball, to protect himself, turning into a perfect Frankie Boy-mode "Sorry sir, Frankie Boy is really sorry…"

"You idiot!" grey coat man yelled at him, dusting away the dirt from the expensive fabric "Watch what you're doing you good-for-nothing son of a bitch!" with disgust the man spat on the young man still on the ground.

"Hey, stop it!" Jason got up abruptly, showing his huge frame to the two elegant men "He didn't do it on purpose!" with unusual gentleness the ex-boxer helped Frankie Boy on his feet "Are you ok, Frankie Boy?" he wondered fondly.

Panic could easily read into the younger man's eyes as he leaned against his big friend "Frankie Boy didn't want to made the man upset… Frankie Boy only wanted to show Jason some gifts…" he was trembling, clearly scared by the grey-coat man's reaction.

"It's ok son… you didn't do anything wrong. Don't worry…" the big man turned then towards the two men "He didn't do anything wrong, did he?" his voice was steady and firm, reflecting all of his physical strength.

Grey coat man fixed his clothes looking at his partner, who stopped him before he could say anything.

"Don't worry Mr. Goodwin" the other man, the one wearing a black coat told Jason, smiling viciously "My friend here has been caught by surprise"

The man had such a fake smile, such a hissing voice that made Deeks' stomach turn upside down. An alarm bell rang immediately in his head… something was very wrong with these two men, that was for sure, so he needed to be very careful.

"Mr. Goodwin, we'll be happy to talk to you again in the next few days and I hope you can consider our offer" black-coat man said speaking directly with Jason.

"I'll think about it, now you better get away from here. Nights in this neighborhood are never a place for people like you" with that the big man guided Frankie Boy towards the place they had found to spend the night, ignoring completely the two men that furtively walked away.

"Look Jason" the younger man said happily "Miss Milly gave Frankie Boy these…" he took out the blanket and the paper bag with the bread and the hot coffee.

"That woman is too good to be around here" Jason smiled, putting a gentle hand on his young friend's shoulder "And I bet she cares a lot about you, son"

"Miss Milly always looks after Frankie Boy"

The big man laughed at the innocent comment of his younger friend "I don't find this too hard to believe… you're a good boy, Frankie Boy. And you shouldn't be here… you should find a place to stay and go back to a normal life"

Frankie shook his head "Frankie Boy has friends here…" he smiled, flashing one of his infamous grins that brightened his blue eyes "But he doesn't like those men… they've been bad with Frankie Boy"

Jason became serious, his features hardened, his dark eyes lost their usual sweetness. He was a very big, black man, much bigger than Sam, probably 10-15cm higher and huger, but his eyes were what had caught Deeks' attention the first time they met. They were caring and full of gentleness, without any hint of evilness into them. In the same way, Jason had seen something into Frankie Boy's eyes that told him that he could trust the younger man, that he could help him without being stabbed in the back which was very important living the way they did.

"Those men could help us, son… they might give us some money so we'll be able to start a new life" the big man stated gravely.

"But they were nasty… Frankie Boy doesn't like them… he's… scared of them. Frankie Boy doesn't want their money"

Jason smiled once again at his younger friend, the big man cared a lot about him even if they met just one week ago. It was impossible not to like his innocence, his smile… the way he always tried to do the right thing to please the big man. And if Milly Freeman liked the young man, everyone could be sure that he was a good guy, not some hotheaded kid. Her opinion counted a lot around here "Oh we'll take care of them when it will be the moment, now.. why don't we sit down and drink a bit of that coffee? It's getting cold…"

Frankie Boy smiled openly, glad that his friend had listened to his opinion, not cutting him shortly. So he sat down with Jason, lying under the blanket Miss Milly gave him as he listened to the stories the big man told him.

It was only when the ex-boxer had finally fallen asleep, that the young man let his mind wandering. First he thought about his team, wondering what they were doing in this moment, he imagined Sam at home, with his family, maybe with Callen visiting them, then he thought about Kensi and he felt a sense of void, like he was missing a part of himself. His partner had become such an important part of his life and he missed that so much; he missed their teasing each other, their endless bantering, the laughs… the nights spent watching her favorite Tv shows drinking a beer… Sighing heavily he tried to put all of this in a remote corner of his mind; he must be focused on the job, about finding the men who killed one of his best friends… he must forget about Marty Deeks for a while, because Marty Deeks didn't exist right now. There was only Frankie Boy… He closed his eyes and slowly dozed off, not sure what tomorrow might bring to him.

The last thing that he remembered before falling asleep, was the clear image of two elegantly dressed man, with a vicious voice and an evil smile; he knew he had to talk with Callen about them the next time they were going to meet, but there was still a lot of time before that will happen, before he'll be able to have a contact with the team.

Then darkness engulfed his mind and he fell into Morpheus' welcoming arms.

* * *

So you met Frankie Boy... and part of his world. I wish he was believable... let me know what you think.

Thanks in advance.


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, I look like a broken record here, but thanks for all the reviews, alert and so on. You all made my day.

It's been a while, but I would like to apologize if my grammar or spelling mistakes offend someone. I hope you can forgive me for them.

* * *

Street Life - Cahpter 5

_Present Time_

The young woman sitting at the information desk right outside the ER almost fell off her chair when he saw the two men and the woman running towards her. She was used to see relatives storming through the glass door with worried expressions planted on their faces, but these people were different, They had a scary appearance, almost dangerous, with a big amount of pure concern written in their eyes. She could see that even in distance.

"Good morning… how can I help you?" she asked tentatively, intimidated by them.

"I'm Agent Callen of NCIS, these are Agent Hanna and Agent Blye. A man has been taken in by an ambulance after he has been arrested by the Police…" Callen started trying to keep himself calm, but it was not easy, not in this situation.

"We need to know how he's doing…" Sam finished what his partner had started.

"I… yes, wait…" the young woman checked something on her computer then she indicated one of the doors in the corridor "Emergency Room 3…"

She hadn't even said the last word when the three agents rushed towards the room the woman had pointed to them. When they were right in front of the door, a Police Officer stopped them "Stop! No one is allowed here"

As an answer Sam flashed his badge, but the cop didn't seem too intimidated or bothered by that.

"I said no one is allowed here" he repeated.

"Look, we need to see that man inside…" Callen tried to use the diplomacy, but deep inside he truly wanted to punch this man.

"The man is under arrest for public nuisance and for assaulting a public officer" the cop told containing hardly a bit of disgust "That bloody junkie broke my partner's nose and the only way I had to stop him was tasering him!"

Kensi couldn't stand this any longer and she didn't kick the man in the groin only because they were in a public place "That bloody junkie, as you called him…" she paused stepping closer to the cop who in spite of his bigger size seemed a bit scared of her "…is a LAPD Detective and a damn good one! Not to mention that he's my partner, you bloody idiot!"

The Police Officer looked at her in disbelief, shocked by the revelation "But he… I didn't know…"

Sam took Kensi away from the man, she was too dangerous when she was angry and all of this was about Deeks, so she was even madder.

"He has been undercover for the last month and half… but he went missing two weeks ago" Callen explained calmly, trying to bring the situation to a civil level.

"I… we didn't know… he was just acting weirdly, scaring the people at the market… and he went crazy when we tried to stop him…" the cop's tone was completely different now, having lost all the arrogance.

"Yes and you thought that tasering him was the only solution! What would have been the next step? Beating him to pulp?" once again Kensi jumped into the conversation, unable not to think about the video Eric showed them reporting Deeks' arrest.

"Kensi, come on… calm down" the ex-Seal put a hand on her shoulder, feeling her trembling under his touch.

"Sam… we're talking about my partner! You saw the way they treated him… even a child could see that Deeks was not thinking straight. Using that damn Taser gun was not necessary!"

"Kensi, I know… but this will not help Deeks…" Sam talked with his quiet voice and it seems that finally he was having the result he was looking for "The most important thing is that he's here. And he's alive… we'll deal with the rest later"

Kensi sighed, inhaling deeply "Yeah, you're right… I'm sorry. It's just that… I… I don't like him being in there. He looked terrified Sam… that was not Deeks. What the hell did they do to him?"

"We're all worried Kens and none of us likes this situation…" Callen was still talking when a commotion came from the inside of the emergency room.

They all cast a glance inside trying to see what was happening when they heard the screams. Deeks was crying out desperately, trying to get rid of the doctors and nurses who were pinning him down the bed while taking care of him. He was thrashing and turning in the gurney as he wanted to escape, to run away from here.

"Let me go…" he yelled desperately, kicking with his legs.

"Keep him down!" one of the doctors ordered but the detective was too scared, too desperate and he was finding an unthinkable strength inside of him. A trail with medical equipment fell to the ground with a loud thud and confusion seemed to grow even more inside the room.

"Let go of me… Let me go!" Deeks yelled even louder, his voice hoarse and raspy, nothing like the one his friends were used to hear.

Kensi wanted to step inside, wanted the doctors to stop hurting him, but a big male nurse put himself between her and the door "I'm sorry… you can't go in there"

"The hell… that's my partner! I have to go there… I… he needs me" she said, unable to hide a begging note in her voice.

"Mr. Dawson, we need to restrain him… now or he will hurt himself! He's bleeding out…!" another doctor addressed one of the nurses who started securing Deeks' wrists and ankles to the bed.

Feeling himself even more constricted, the cop fought even harder, but all of his efforts seemed vain… strength was abandoning him.

"Dr. Lambert, we need to sedate him… his vitals are going crazy!" a black woman nurse shouted pointing the attention of a small man in scrubs to the monitor.

"Damn it! No! His heartbeat rate is too high…" the doctor was hesitating, something was preventing him from jumping into action "Where are those blood test results? I need them now!"

"Get off… let me go!" Deeks, who was now restrained to the bed, lifted his shoulder, trying to put himself into a sitting position "Untie me!" he shouted even more desperately. It was then that his body tensed as he fell to the gurney… his back arched as pain flowed through his muscles and nerves.

"No… no, no, no! Come on, don't do that!" Dr. Lambert screamed as he rushed into action. His patient was going into shock, he had foam coming out of his mouth and his heartbeat was going from being too high to too low "Ah hell… we need to sedate him…" he picked up a syringe from a closer trail and injected it into the IV connected to the detective's hand.

Outside the three NCIS agent and the Police Officer looked in shock at what was going on into the ER.

Kensi was slamming her hands on the glass door, her heart clenched in a tight vice "Come on Deeks… come on…"

Sam had one of his comforting hand still on her shoulder as he watched the entire scene in horror, while Callen's eyes never left for a single second his friend's shaking figure in the bed.

In the ER the doctors and the nurses were still trying to keep the situation under control "Ted, the sedative is not working… the heart rate is too spiked if we don't do anything, he won't make it!"

Dr. Lambert listened to his colleague's statement as he was trying to figure out the best treatment for their patient "Damn Mike, I know… I wonder what the hell he took to interfere with the sedatives…" he looked at the convulsing body of his patient, then sighing he ordered "Defibrillator…"

"Ted, it's too dangerous. The shock could kill him!"

"I know Mike, but there's nothing else we can do at the moment… he's going to die as well if we don't try!" Lambert charged the equipment and put the plates on the patient's chest "Clear!"

Kensi saw Deeks' body reacting to the electrical discharge and her own heart skipped a beat. She felt the tears forming in her eyes, but she didn't want to cry, she needed to be strong. Her knuckles whitened for the effort in balling his fingers into fists and her shoulders got rigid.

The doctor repeated the operation other two times, then Deeks' body went limp… and what was a room full of frantic action, became suddenly a quiet place.

"We made it…" Dr. Lambert affirmed, closing his eyes.

His colleague patted his shoulder "Good job, Boss…"

There was no time to rest on their laurels, their patient still needed help "Ok then, we haven't finished yet. Back to work"

Outside the three NCIS agents released the breaths they were holding. Their friend had overcome a crisis, but they still didn't know what happened to him and what kind of damage he had sustained.

* * *

_Twenty days before_

Jason Goodwin observed his younger friend as they were walking side by side, directed to Milly's shelter. Frankie Boy had a big smile planted on his face, his expression happy as ever.

"Hey, did anything good happen to you? Because son… you have that big smile planted on your face…" the big man said, passing an arm around the younger man's shoulders.

"Frankie Boy is always happy when Jason and he go to Miss Milly's…" it was true, but there was another reason because Frankie Boy was happy. It was the day of another meeting with Callen, something he was looking forward warmly, but this was something he couldn't obviously share with Jason.

"That woman spoils you too much… I saw her giving you that chocolate bar the other day" Jason teased the other man, playfully.

In the last three weeks the two men had grown closer, becoming more than friends… their relationship was more like a father-son kind rather than just a simple friendship. The big man had taken Frankie Boy under his protective wing and the blond man had used all of his skills to find some useful stuff and food for both of them, the bond between them was evident and getting stronger day after day.

"Oh yes… and Frankie Boy shared it with Jason…" he grinned openly as the smile brightened his deep blue eyes.

"That's true son, indeed you did" Jason ruffled his friend's hair, with affection, gently "You should put your hat on… it's getting cold again, son"

Without protesting, Frankie Boy took out his wool hat and put it on, showing it to the big man proudly.

"Good boy…"

Without realizing it, they arrived outside the shelter. There was not a long line this time and it seemed quieter than usual.

"I think we're lucky today son. Maybe Milly will give us a double portion" Jason stated stepping through the door.

"Frankie Boy will ask for it to Miss Milly…" the young man hadn't finished talking yet when he was engulfed in a bear hug.

"And here you are!" Milly exclaimed joyously "How are you doing son?"

The young man blushed for the public display of affection towards him "Frankie Boy's doing great Miss Milly… but you're squeezing him a bit too much"

The older woman broke the embrace and looked straight into his blue eyes with scolding glance "Watch your tongue young man… can't a woman hug his favorite boy?!"

"Now you are wounding me, Milly" Jason intervened.

"Jason Goodwin, are you taking care of my boy here?" Milly said seriously, she knew already the answer, but she wanted to hear it with her own ears. She knew that the big man would keep Frankie Boy safe, but she was aware as well that the situation in the neighborhood was not very good. Another man had been found dead not later than five days ago "You know you won't survive a day if anything should happen to him"

"Oh don't worry Miss Milly, Jason is very good with Frankie Boy…"

"I'm not so sure son" the woman told him, studying him from head to toes "You're getting too skinny! This is not good… come on, go get something to eat!"

The blond man stared at her guiltily before talking again "Frankie Boy is sorry that… Miss Milly is disappointed with him"

Milly cupped his face, sweetly "I will never be disappointed with you, Frankie Boy… remember this. I am only worried about you. Come on, there's a stew waiting for you"

The young man's expression lightened up at the sole mention of the food "Miss Milly, do you mind if Frankie Boy stops by Thomas to say hi… and pick up some bread?"

"Of course not… he was asking for you just few minutes ago" she indicated the table where Thomas was distributing the bread.

"Thank you Miss Milly" Frankie Boy replied enthusiastically, planting a kiss on Milly's cheek before walking away.

"That boy is too good for this life" she said sighing deeply "And so are you Jason Goodwin…"

"Oh come on Milly… you know I won't be able to live in the real world anymore. This is my life… and I'm good with what I have…" the big man leaned on Milly, kissing her too "And you are always here looking after us… what would you do without us?" he winked cunningly.

"I still think that you are wasting your life living the way you're doing… I can understand your reasons, but you shouldn't give up. You have still so much to give… just look at the way you're taking care of him, it's a gift. It took me much more time to gain his trust when I first met him. Sometimes I'd like to hear his story… to understand what made him the way he is… that boy…" she paused when a veil of sadness matter her eyes "He deserves to live with dignity… I have the feeling that he is smarter than he let on…" she cast a furtive glance at Frankie Boy who was chatting amiably with Thomas.

"I know, I have the same feeling… and I am sure that he suffered a lot during his young life. I heard him crying more than once while he was sleeping… and screaming… but I never told him anything. He will talk to me when he'll be ready…"

"See, Jason? That's why I know you have a lot to give to the community. You could be very good at helping people. You have… the gift" she was extremely serious. Jason Goodwin was too good to bury himself in self-pity, because this was what he was doing, hiding behind the excuse of his manager stealing all of his money. He was afraid of going back to the real world, afraid of the judgment of the people, so he simply decided to disappear, erasing his whole existence. "Now… why don't you follow your young friend and you go get something to it? I bet you could use it as much as he could…"

"I can't say no to such a nice invitation…" Jason moved towards the man who was giving the stew, passing by his younger friend who was still talking with the man named Thomas "I'll be waiting for you at the table, son…"

"Thanks Jason, Frankie Boy will be there soon…" the young man told him, turning his attention to Thomas. "Thomas is happy to talk to Frankie Boy" he grinned cunningly.

Callen/Thomas shook his head; he almost could not recognize this man standing in front of him. All the traces of the Marty Deeks he knew, were completely gone. This man, talking to him, smiling with a childish grin, this Frankie Boy, was incredibly skinny, his hollow cheeks were only partially hidden behind an untrimmed beard, the big amount of layers of clothes he was wearing were not able to hide how much weight the cop had lost in just three weeks. His hands, covered by half-gloves, had not seen the water in days and his nails were broken and dirty as well. Even the way he talked, the way he moved, the way his tall frame were slightly hunched under an invisible burden, gave him a completely different appearance. The transformation almost shocked the NCIS agent, if it wasn't for the sparkle in his blue eyes, even him would not be able to say he was right in front of the same man "Deeks… hey, how are you doing man?"

The cop hesitated a moment, as he found hard to switch into his own self "Fra… I'm good…" he said tentatively but in spite of his efforts, he didn't sound too convincing and the trembling still shaking his figure didn't help his cause.

"You know that you just need to say a word and we'll end this operation immediately" the blue eyed team leader said, lowering his voice not to be heard by anyone around them.

"No!" the cop almost yelled, then burst laughing not to arouse suspicion among his new friends "Frankie Boy is not going to say that…" he spoke loudly, still smiling, but his eyes were serious, then whispering he added "Maybe I've got a lead… a couple of men approached Jason, he didn't tell me what they offered him, but he said that they could give us something, money enough to change our life… And I know for sure that the same men talked to JoJo, the man who has been found dead last week"

"Do you have a description of them?" Callen wondered furrowing his brows, he didn't like this, he still thought that Deeks had put himself into a very bad situation and he would not be relaxed until this whole story will be finally over.

"Oh come on Thomas… you know that Frankie Boy likes that kind of bread and not this one… please Thomas, please! Do it for Frankie Boy" the cop raised his voice once again, so everyone could hear what he was saying, meanwhile, unnoticed, he took out from one of his pockets, a piece of paper that he put under the loaf of bread he was giving back to Callen in exchange of a different kind.

The NCIS agent smiled at Deeks' quick thinking "Ok, ok… Frankie Boy, here's the one you like"

"Thank you!" Frankie Boy exclaimed happily, sounding like a child who had just received his most wanted gift "I… I wrote everything I remembered about them, I hope it helps… too bad I didn't have a phone with me"

"You did good…"

"Thanks…" the blond man's eyes saddened a bit, he knew he had to go now, that he could not stay any longer "Say… say hi to everyone…"

"Of course… you just be careful, ok?" Callen's words couldn't hide his concern, his stomach clenched at the idea of letting his friend go "Oh wait… I have something for you. Kensi gave it to me…" he rummaged through his pocket, taking out a little keychain with a Ninja Turtle standing on a surfboard attached to it.

It was just a silly little thing, but it meant the world to Deeks… it reminded him of who he truly was, that he had people who cared about him and that were waiting for his return and mostly it reminded him of his partner. He had tried with all of his strength to put the memory of her in a hidden corner of his mind, but he missed her, he missed her more than he had ever imagined. His blue eyes sparkled in happiness when his dirty fingers grabbed the little object and he felt a lonely tear trying to find its way out "Thank… you" he said uncertain "Please, tell Kensi that Frankie Boy loves it" and with that, without turning back at all, he walked away, the little Ninja turtle tight in his hand.

* * *

So I thought it was the right time to give you an update about Deeks' condition, soon we'll find out what happened to him. I hope you'll have the patience to wait for that.

As always I like to know what you think. Thanks in advance.


	6. Chapter 6

Ok, first of all, I have to apologize with you because the first bit of this chapter was supposed to be the end of the last one, so I am sorry if I am confusing someone with the continue jumping back and forth (in time). And for this reason this chapter is going to be a little shorter than the previous ones. My fault.

Then, thank you all for your support... I truly appreciate all of your comments (even the ones I can't reply to) and alerts. You all made my day. Thanks!

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 6

That night, Jason and Frankie Boy were back to their place in the protected alley. The big man watched intently his younger friend who was sitting under the blanket Milly had given them, unusually quiet, his hands were playing with a little object like it was the most precious treasure of the entire world. What worried Jason the most were Frankie Boy's eyes, he had never seen them so sad, so full of melancholy.

"Are you ok son?" the big man asked, sitting next to him.

Frankie Boy simply nodded, without saying a single word and this was even weirder and of course it was a new source of great concern for the big man.

"It's a nice keychain" the ex-boxer told his friend hoping he could open up. He sensed that there was something behind the little turtle that had affected Frankie Boy so much to make him shut the world off "I've never seen it before…"

"It's new… Thomas gave it to Frankie Boy" finally the younger man broke the silence that was getting a bit unnerving.

"And it reminded you of something, didn't it?" Jason knew he was pushing his friend a little bit further than usual, but he had the feeling that the younger man needed to talk about it.

"Frankie Boy likes to surf…" he simply said, but those few words were full of meaning, it was the first time he shared a part of his past with his friend, a part of his real life actually.

"Really? And are you good?" insisted the big man, giving him a kind smile.

"Oh Jason can bet… Frankie Boy is so good" he smirked proudly.

"Did you miss it?"

Frankie Boy's hand clenched the little Ninja turtle even tighter before putting it away, carefully and delicately, into one of his inner pockets, then his blue eyes locked on Jason's dark ones "Yes"

The big man felt there was an entire world behind that simple word, a world of very good memories that had left a mark into the younger man's heart and soul, signing him deeply. He wanted to be a part of that world himself, because he found himself caring a lot about Frankie Boy, maybe even too much considering the kind of life they were living and the future they might have "Ok, why don't we take a little nap? I feel like it's going to rain and these old bones don't like walking under the water…"

Frankie smiled "Jason is not old… Jason is just ancient" he burst out laughing, gaining only a little punch on his shoulder.

"This is not fair… Jason looks like Kensi here" the blond man said, unconsciously, regretting it immediately.

"Who is Kensi, son?" Jason wondered furrowing his brows, it was the first time Frankie Boy had talked about someone outside the microcosm where they lived.

"Kensi… is… a friend" the younger man's expression darkened and his tongue played with his lips, nervously.

"A friend?" the big man inquired curiously.

"She's… she's Frankie Boy's best friend" he didn't like giving away so many personal information all together, but just the idea of Kensi thinking about him and buying him that little Ninja turtle, had unsettled him much more than he had ever imagined. He didn't realize how much she missed her until now.

Jason studied how Frankie Boy's features softened mentioning the name of that girl and he couldn't deny the fact that he would have liked to hear the entire story about her, about them. On the other hand though, he didn't want to push the young man to open up if he wasn't ready to do it. It would be an obstacle to their friendship… so he simply waited.

Frankie Boy sighed heavily, his mind lost miles away "I think Jason and Frankie Boy should take that nap now…"

"I think you're right…" the big man smiled, fixing the blanket around their bodies pressed very close so they could exchange their heat "I'm tired" he passed an arm around the young man's shoulders and guided him towards his bigger frame.

Frankie Boy felt safe into Jason's arms, in spite of where they were and of being at the mercy of the weather. It was a nice feeling that cuddled him to sleep.

He didn't know how long he had been sleeping, when a suspicious noise woke him up. His instinct kicked in and unconsciously his hand moved to his back looking for his gun, that sadly was not there. He felt his heart racing in his chest as he shifted his body and straightened himself up to check his surroundings. Doing so, he felt Jason stirring.

"What's up son?" the big man asked, his voice still sleepy.

"Sshhtt" Frankie silenced him "Frankie Boy heard something"

"Son… you should get used to this, we're just close to a trafficked street… people pass by all the time"

"Different" the young man simply said, putting Jason on alert.

And then the big man heard it to… he was getting up when two dark figures appeared out of nowhere.

"Mr. Goodwin, I'm sorry to startle you" a voice greeted him.

Jason sighed in relief "Mr. Baker, it's you" he told the black-coated man he had met some days ago.

"Yes… we…" the man pointed out his companion, the nasty grey-coated man with the evil voice "...are here to talk about business. I hope you had thought about our proposal"

The big man cast a glance at his friend who was slowly standing up, sensing the diffidence in his blue eyes. He didn't know why, he felt like sharing the same sentiment. In spite of the promises these two men had made him, he didn't trust them, not at all "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested, not anymore" he smiled at Frankie Boy receiving a grateful nod in exchange.

"What? Are you kidding me?" grey coat man intervened losing his temper.

"I said we're not interested" Jason repeated firmly, getting a bit closer, showing his intimidating huge frame.

"I'm really sorry, Mr. Goodwin, but I think there was a misunderstanding… our offer was not negotiable" black coat man remarked with an evil grin.

Frankie Boy's senses screamed to alert him that something was going to happen, but his reaction was not as quick as it should have been. Before he could move a single muscle, he saw a black van turning its lights on, blinding them "Jason!" he screamed to warn the big man, protecting his still sleepy eyes from the sudden light, but it was too late.

Two men, appeared out of nowhere, grabbed him by his arms, trying to pin him down. He kicked and thrashed to get rid of them and for a moment he thought he was going to free himself "Jason!" he called again, seeing his big friend fighting as well with other men.

"Run, Frankie Boy! Run!" Jason shouted, hoping to keep his attackers busy so his young friend could find a way to escape. His blood froze when he saw two men grabbing Frankie Boy and throwing him to the ground "No… let him go!" he cried out as he tried to reach his friend, but the distraction was fatal. One of his assailants hit the back of his head with something hard, a bat or a metal bar probably and his whole world went black.

Frankie Boy fought with all of his strength, but the two men holding him were too strong for him and when he saw in distance his friend falling to the ground with a low thud, he lost all of his hopes. One of his assailants smashed his head against the concrete soil. Pain exploded in his skull and darkness engulfed him… before succumbing to unconsciousness, he heard the evil laugh of grey coat man as he ordered "Throw these pieces of shit in the van… we have a lot of work to do"

Then he felt nothing more.

* * *

_Present Time_

There was nothing more frustrating than waiting, unable to do anything and the three NCIS agents were feeling exactly this way at the moment. They were sitting in the plastic chairs in the ER waiting room, desperately hoping that a doctor might show up to update them on the condition of their teammate.

They were aware he was still alive, because the nurse that had sent them away from the room where Deeks had been treated, had managed to tell them at least that, but this was not enough. The LAPD Detective had been missing for more than two weeks and no one knew what happened to him in those days to reduce him in the state he was when the Police Officers arrested him. They all had seen the video Eric showed them and they all remembered too well the terror they had seen in the cop's eye, something anyone of them was not used to see in the usual joyful blue eyes of Marty Deeks.

Kensi was the most restless of all them, unable to sit for more than ten minutes straight; she hadn't talked with her partner since the day he went undercover and in spite of all the efforts not to think about him, she couldn't deny the fact that she missed him. Deeks had become a very important person in her life, he was her partner, yes… her best friend and probably the only man she trusted completely, the one who knew her more than anyone else… sometimes more than herself as well. It was weird going to work every day knowing that he wasn't around, teasing her, cracking one of his stupid jokes, being the most annoying person ever, just to turn in the most caring man when she simply need it. And Deeks always knew when she needed his support. Always… he was always there for her, telling her something idiotic just to make her laugh or simply being there, in silence, waiting for her to be ready to open up. She missed this… and the only idea that she could lose this, that she could lose him, was driving her crazy.

"Your partner is strong, Miss Blye… he won't give up so easily" Hetty said showing up behind her agent, stealthily as usual, no one had seen her arriving, not to mention no one had heard her, but she was right where she was supposed to be, with her team.

"Hetty hey…" Kensi was a bit startled by the sudden presence of her boss, even if it was something the Operations Manager was used to do "I wish I could be as optimistic as you are… it was awful seeing him going through that…" her voice cracked a little, betraying her feelings, the emotions filling her heart.

"I'm sure it was more than awful, but your partner is still here, he didn't give up… and you should do the same" Hetty continued, guiding her female agent to the line of chairs.

"Hey Hetty" Callen greeted his boss "Any news?"

"Sadly no. Mr. Beale and Miss Jones are trying to find some videos from the cameras around the area where Mr. Deeks showed up before being arrested, but at the moment they had found nothing. He simply came out of nowhere" the older woman paused sighing deeply, hiding a bit of frustration. Having lost one of her men for more than two weeks was something she hadn't digested very well, especially considering the fact that they should have been there for him, backing him up… they simply let this happen and deep inside of her, she will never forgive herself because of that "But they are still working on that. Do you have news on Mr. Deeks?"

"Not yet" Sam intervened, passing a hand over his tired face "It was damn scary…" he reflected, louder than he wanted.

"Oh yes… and Kensi was scary too" Callen added with a smirk.

"Yes, we had to stop her from tearing apart the Police officer who arrested Deeks!" the ex-Seal piled it on.

"Oh well, I tried to do what you all wanted to do" Kensi had understood what her teammates were trying to do, giving her something else to focus on, but the anger she felt towards those cops who hurt her partner was almost overwhelming.

"Oh don't worry about that. I spoke with the Chief of the Police Department… and he was not very happy after I updated him. Let's say he was quite speechless…" Hetty stated grinning cunningly.

Both Sam and Callen chuckled and even Kensi relaxed a bit, releasing a bit of the tension.

It was then that a doctor approached them, a grave expression planted on his face "I understand that you're here for the man I was treating" he started studying the people in front of him. He had seen his patient and he was trying to find a connection with these people "I'm Dr. Ted Lambert"

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Lambert" the Operations Manager offered her hand to shake "My name is Henrietta Lange and I am Detective Deeks' next of kin. These are Agents Callen, Hanna and Blye of NCIS"

The doctor was startled to say at least "Detective? NCIS? I… I thought…"

"Detective Deeks was working undercover before he went missing some days ago" Hetty explained without going too much into details, but she felt that the doctor should have a slight idea of who he was dealing with.

"How's he doing?" Kensi asked unable to wait anymore.

"Well, it was a close call" Dr. Lambert started seriously "When he arrived here, he was unconscious but when we have just started checking on him, he woke up and got very agitated. I don't know where he got his strength, because I have to tell you he was in a pretty bad shape, he was bleeding profusely from a wound on his back and he showed signs of beatings all of over his body… anyway, he fought us, keeping him down was almost impossible. Checking on his pupils, it was clear that he was high on something, so I was afraid that giving him sedatives could be counterproductive... I waited because I wanted to have the blood tests results first, but… he went into shock"

"We saw that" Sam said, voicing everyone's concern.

"We've been lucky… and we brought him back" Lambert told them.

"Yes, but how's he doing?" Kensi repeated, she wanted so badly to hear that Deeks was going to be ok, she needed to know that.

"We are still waiting for the results of the blood tests, to see what kind of drugs or substances he assumed. As I said, he has been beaten, more than once, so he had a broken rib and three cracked ones. Fortunately the broken one didn't puncture his lung. There was a deep gash on his temple that required 12 stitches. He was dehydrated and a bit undernourished which I didn't feel was too strange considering… well…"

"We understand doctor, please continue…" Hetty exhorted the man, her eyes were scrutinizing him and she was listening intently to what th doctor was saying.

"I… we reckon he's been tightly bound because the skin of his wrists was torn, so torn apart that we had to apply some stitches" Lambert could see the anger growing into the people in front of him, he could imagine those agents were very close to the injured detective and that they cared deeply about him.

"You said he was bleeding badly…" Callen wondered, in his head resounded the words of the cop arresting Deeks, who asked for help because the blond detective was bleeding out.

Dr. Lambert sighed heavily, bowing his head "He has a deep wound in his lower back, we managed to stop the bleeding and patching him up" he stopped, raising his glance and looking at the NCIS agents one by one, straight in the eyes.

"What are you not telling us, doctor?" Sam intervened, narrowing his eyes, puzzled.

The doctor hesitated a moment before going on. He took a deep breath and then said "At first we thought it was a stabbing wound, but then we realized that it wasn't a knife that caused it… it was something else…"

"Oh come on, Dr. Lambert. Spit it out!" surprisingly it was Hetty who told him that.

"Look, I know this is wrong… but when your friend was first admitted, we thought he was another homeless man who had a fight with one of his buddies. It happens every day, they fight for a blanket, for a place to sleep, for a coat… for a pair of gloves, practically for everything… so at first we didn't pay too much attention…" Lambert paused, feeling a bit guilty "Only when we saw the laceration on his wrists we realized that there was more behind what we initially thought… then he got into shock and everything changed…"

"What do you mean when you said that it was not a knife wound… what are you talking about?" Callen pressed, feeling a sense of uneasiness growing inside of him. He didn't like what the doctor was telling them, he couldn't imagine what kind of life Deeks had been forced to live in the past weeks. In his long career of undercover agent, he had never been forced to pose as a hobo, but the idea of his friend, alone, out in the street, under the weird weather of this period and forced to fight even for the silliest things, made him cringe.

"I'm saying, that he was not stabbed in a fight… someone did it to him on purpose… the wound was very precise, very neat. Surgically neat…" Lambert stated, gravely, his voice low.

The color was drained from the agents' faces as they looked at one another, they all knew what this meant…

"Oh hell!" Hetty exclaimed, voicing everyone's anger.

* * *

and so this is how it started... What did Jason and Frankie Boy put themselves into? We're getting there... Once again, I thought a little update on Deeks' condition was in order.

Please let me know what you think. As always, I appreciate it. Thanks in advance!


	7. Chapter 7

I have to admit I'm surprised for your great support, I didn't expect anything like this. I feel almost embarrassed... but thank you all! You really made my day(s).

I can only hope I won't disappoint you too much with where this story is going and that it will make sense for you!

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 7

_Eighteen days before _

He was sure that his eyes were open, but why was it so dark? Where was he? What happened? Panic grew inside of him as he tried to move, to put himself into a sitting position, but he regretted it immediately when a stabbing pain erupted in his head, making him dizzy, nauseous. Groaning, he tried to stop his head from spinning, finding his hands tied in front of him "What the hell?" he muttered, shaking. All of the sudden he felt very cold and couldn't stop himself from trembling, his shoes and socks were gone and so were his coat, jacket and jumpsuit, leaving him only in his shirt.

Using all of his strength and fighting the nausea, Deeks finally straightened up himself, leaning his head to a wall his bound hands had found. When finally his breath was under control after the effort he had to put in the task, memories flashed into his mind "Jason!" he called with a hoarse voice. Silence.

"Jason!?" he called again, unable to hide his concern, his fear, for the fate of his friend.

After what it seemed an eternity, finally someone answered.

"Frankie Boy... is that you?" a feeble voice came from a not so distant spot from where he was.

"Yes… it's Frankie Boy" the cop had to concentrate a lot to keep up his façade, to stay in character, the pain in his head was very distracting and was making him pretty confused.

"Oh thank God… are you ok son? I was so worried…" the big man got up moving tentatively towards the source of his friend's voice "I'm coming towards you, stay calm son… I'm getting to you" walking slowly, using the walls as the only reference point, his foot finally touched something "Is that you son?"

"Yes" Frankie simply said, feeling Jason's hands touching him "Is Jason ok?" he wondered, concerned as well.

"I am good son, I've been awake for a while, but I thought I was alone until I heard you calling me" Jason sat next to his friend, their shoulders brushing "You haven't answered though… how are you?"

"Good… head hurts and it's cold…"

The big man passed his bound hands on Frankie's head and face, sensing something stick through his fingers "You're bleeding… what did they do to you?"

"It's nothing too bad… Frankie Boy got worse" maybe it was just because of the pain or because of the cold, he didn't know, but the young man's voice sounded sadder than he had wanted it to be, full of too well known sorrow and this worried his friend even more.

"I'm sorry son, I'm really sorry…"

"Why is Jason sorry?" Frankie asked, pretty confused.

"I'm sorry because you had… something worse than this. I'm sorry because I brought you into this mess… you don't deserve this and you didn't have anything to do with those men…" there was a note of pure fear in the big man's words, mostly for his friend, but even because of the unknown. They didn't know where they were, how long they had been here, who were the men holding them here and what they wanted.

"Jason and Frankie Boy will find a way out" the young man smiled in spite of the darkness.

Even if he could not see him, Jason knew from the inflection of his voice, that his friend was trying to lighten up the mood; how Frankie could do such a thing was a mystery to him. The young man always tried to find a positive note in everything, but this situation was just too bad to do that "Frankie Boy, I…"

The big man was interrupted by the door opening as the light coming from the outside blinded them. Both captives covered their eyes to repair them and doing so, they didn't see some men approaching.

"Get that one" one of the men ordered and immediately two pairs of strong hands grabbed Frankie Boy and hauled him on his feet.

"No! Let Frankie Boy go…!" the young man screamed, he tried to fight them but another one of their captors punched him in the stomach making him cry in pain.

"No! Let him go… he has nothing to do with this, please… let him go!" begged Jason getting up and launching himself towards the men holding his friend.

The man in charge, a tall, thin man with blond hair, an aquiline nose and evil green eyes, stopped him. He was wearing a white lab coat and latex gloves "You better stand where you are if you don't want my men hurting your friend" he said with a calm, vicious voice.

"No… don't hurt him… take me, he should not even be here… please…" the big man made a step ahead to get closer to the man, but he regretted immediately when his captor nodded to his men, giving him a silent signal "No!" Jason shouted watching Frankie Boy being manhandled and, soon after, injected in his arm with a syringe.

The young man's cry died in his throat as he felt a vicious liquid flowing through his veins as a burning sensation engulfed him, his vision blurred and the room started spinning, making him nauseous "Ja… son…" he muttered incomprehensibly as they took him out of the room.

"Frankie Boy!" yelled Jason desperately as he felt his legs become weak and he fell to the ground on his knees "Please, don't hurt him… please…" he begged, unable to stop the tears from falling.

The tall man in the lab coat, approached him, grabbing his chin, squeezing it painfully "Don't worry… you'll see him soon and then it'll be your turn…"

Jason didn't know how to take the man's words, his heart was beating heavily in his chest as fear took possession of him. What did the man mean when he said those words? What were they going to do with Frankie Boy? As he watched the door slumming behind his captors, he couldn't stop himself anymore. He felt that he had failed his younger friend, that he had betrayed him, not protecting him, allowing those people to hurt him.

Alone, in the darkness of his solitary cell, the big man felt helpless and hopeless, and for the first time after years, he burst into tears, uncontrollable, bitter tears that rolled down his scared face "Please God, let him be ok… please save him… please" he prayed hoping that someone could really hear his words.

* * *

His head lolled following the steps the man holding him were making, his unresponsive feet shuffled along the floor. He felt nauseous and his head was pounding; the burning sensation that had at first engulfed his whole body, had left space to a tingling sensation that paralyzed his muscles. Frankie Boy was trying to take a look at his surrounding, trying to memorize the path to where they were taking him, but he couldn't focus on anything, flashes of psychedelic lights blinded him and everything around him was just a blur.

After what it seemed a lifetime, they stopped in front of a metal door that once opened, revealed a brighter room where he was dragged inside and pulled towards a metal table right in the middle of it.

The young man tried to wriggle, but he was too weak and his attempt was so pathetic that gained him just a pitiful laugh from his captors, who made a fool of him. They were still laughing when the man in the lab coat showed up "Secure him to the table!" he ordered his men who removed the handcuffs as they laid Frankie Boy on the metal table and started securing his wrists and ankles to it with other metal cuffs.

Feeling himself incapacitated, unable to move, the young man felt a rush of adrenaline running through his veins and struggled with renewed efforts in the vain attempt of getting rid of the bindings "No… let me go…" he slurred, his voice thick, his tongue furred because of the drugs with which he had been injected.

"Ahahah I like a man with temper" the man in the lab coat hissed, smiling evilly, as he pressed his hand on his captive's chest, slamming him on the table.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" Frankie Boy asked, blinking furiously hoping to clear his vision.

"My name is Dr. Julius Schneider and I want everything I can get from you" the man told him with a cold voice, before bursting out laughing, chilling his captive's bones.

All of the sudden, Frankie Boy was hit by the reality as it was an electrical discharge… he was in trouble, in deep trouble "You son of a bitch" he said, every trace of his childish behavior was gone, now it was Detective Marty Deeks who was lying on the table, aware of who this man was, aware that he was the person responsible of Brad's death and probably of his own. A new wave of strength flowed through his body as he struggled even more in his bindings.

Schneider looked at him with an extreme pleased expression planted on his face "Oh such a fury… I have to say it'll be even more entertaining than usual dealing with you" he signaled to a couple of his men to come closer "Keep him steady!"

In spite of his effort attempting to resist, one man grabbed roughly his hair pinning his head down and the other blocked his shoulders.

Meanwhile Schneider took a pen-light and pointed it into Deeks' eyes "Interesting, the drug has already wore out… almost at least" then he moved towards a little trolley and prepared another syringe with which injected again the cop.

As the needle plunged into the crook of his elbow and the piston pushed the liquid into his vein, Deeks felt his blood freezing and a sharp pain running through his whole system. He arched his back trying to take a deep breath but it hurt, it hurt too much and he felt like suffocating. His blue eyes were wide open as he tried to get some air. When he thought that he couldn't resist anymore, an unexpected warm sensation started spreading from his toes, moving to his upper body… his muscles relaxed and the pain subsided.

The two men holding him down the table, released him and Schneider entered into his vision field "I have always known that a good cocktail of heroin and the right meds could work perfectly"

"What… what have…" Deeks couldn't even talk, unable to control his body.

"Oh don't worry, this is just a little taste of what is going to expect you…" the evil doctor said, still with a smile curving evilly his lips "Braun, we can proceed now" he said to one of his men who moved towards the cop and unbuttoned his shirt.

Deeks once again tried to react, but he simply couldn't, his head was heavy and images arrived distorted at his eyes. His stomach was turned upside down and the acid taste of the bile filled his mouth a moment before throwing up.

Braun had realized what was happening a second before it was actually happening and had turned the cop's face on one side.

"Well, well, well… it seems you're not used to drugs" Schneider nodded curiously, taking note of his captive's reaction to the drug, before tapping something on the keyboard of a computer situated in the corner of the room "Good, very good…"

"Heggert, clean this mess and then let's get started with the examination" Braun ordered to the other man that wrinkled up his nose in disgust but did what he had been asked to.

When Heggert had finished, Braun applied the electrodes of a cardiac monitor to Deeks' bare chest, making him shiver, then picked up a syringe and took a blood sample.

The cop was having hard time keeping his eyes open because of the mix of drugs running through his veins, he could feel the three men touching and probing his whole body, he was even almost sure that they x-rayed him at one point. He only wanted all of this to stop, but sadly he knew this was just the beginning of a nightmare. He didn't know how long the examination lasted and when he thought that he could not stay awake any longer, Schneider leaned on him, checking once again his pupils with the pen-light… at this very moment even that little gesture was a torture for his weak body, but with a little hint of energy he tried to turn his face away.

"Oh you're still resisting" the doctor told him grabbing his chin, painfully crushing it under his fingers "Soon you'll change this attitude… but I like a bit of fire. I found more enjoyable when people resist... it's just prolong the fun..." then turning towards his men he ordered "Take him back to the basement, we've done for today. Tomorrow I'll examine the other one"

Deeks felt himself freed from the cold metal table, but his hands were soon handcuffed again, right before he was dragged away from the room and lead towards the dark basement. When the door opened he was literally pushed inside.

"Frankie Boy!" Jason exclaimed, happy to see his friend back "How are you doing? What... what did they do to you?"

The cop wanted to reassure the big man, telling him that he was fine, but even talking cost him a great effort. His head was still heavy and his brain filled with cotton... the sounds echoed into his head, loudly, confusing him even more if it was possible.

"Son, please answer me..." Jason had reached his friend and was attempting to touch him, when the young man screamed as the big man's hand landed on his shoulder and he tried to wriggle, to get away.

"No! Don't touch me..." Deeks murmured, curling into a ball protectively.

Jason was shocked by his young friend's behavior and he was concerned by the lack of use of the 3rd person speech "Frankie Boy, it's me... it's Jason..." he tried again, but the result was the same.

The cop cried out, his voice filled with fear "Let me go... please let me go..." he sensed a presence beside him and an overwhelming feeling of dread gripped his stomach, turning inside out. He couldn't control himself when he emptied once again his stomach.

The big man heard him retching and uncaring of his friend's previous behavior, he made soothing circles on the cop's back "It's ok Frankie Boy... it's ok..."

The sweet tone and the caring gesture, finally got into Deeks' confused mind "Ja... Jason..." he whispered weekly, still not very focused.

"Yes, it's me, son..." Jason said, even gentler "Are you... good?"

"I... I don't do... very good with drugs..." the detective replied, closing his eyes and wiping his mouth with his bound hands.

"But Frankie Boy you..." then realization hit the big man "Who... who are you?"

A bitter chuckle escaped from Deeks' mouth as he shivered badly, everything he went through in the examination room was getting on him... he felt tired, confused... weak, but he knew he couldn't go on with his farce "Marty Deeks... I'm a LAPD Detective..." it sounded strange to say his name after so many time.

"You're a cop? But... how... I mean, why? You..."

A coughing fit caught the cop when he tried to straighten up himself "Look, I... I promise you to tell you everything... but I... I can't stay awake any longer... I... I think I'm going to pass out for a while..." his voice was nothing more than a whisper, pained and feeble "Please... wake me in an hour... more or less... I can't... keep... going..." he lay on the dusty ground and exhausted, he lost consciousness, leaving a stunned Jason to digest what his friend had just revealed him.

* * *

Jason was tired, but he didn't want to allow his body to relax. He had promised his friend… to Frankie Boy… oh heck to whoever he truly was, to wake him up in an hour. It was hard to measure the time being stuck in a dark room, but he did his best. He could feel the presence beside him, the ragged breath of the young man, the pained whimpers that once in a while escaped from his mouth and his heart clenched. What did these men did to him? What did they want from them?

His train of thoughts was interrupted when the unconscious figure lying next to him jerked and a terrified cry resounded in the dark room.

Jason put a calming hand on his friend's shoulder, but he didn't obtain the result he was looking for. On the contrary the young man, curled into a protective ball, moving towards the wall "It's ok, son… it's me. It's Jason" he said gently. He could almost sense the fear coming from Frankie Boy's radiating body, his panic.

"No… please… let me go…" the young man replied with a weak voice as he didn't know where he was.

"Frankie Boy…" Jason insisted, then remembering what his friend had just told him, he added "Detective Deeks?" he wondered and this time finally, he got through the man.

"Ja… Jason?"

"Yeah, it's me son… it's me" the big man repeated, helping his friend into a more comfortable position "How are you doing?"

"I'm… sorry…" Deeks told him, panting heavily "I… didn't mean to… jump like that…"

"Hey, it's ok…" Jason reassured him, his tone softened even more when he asked "You haven't answered though… how are you feeling?" his bound hands touched the young man's forehead finding it too warm for his taste "You are running a fever"

"I'm… good, but there's no time… for this" the cop tried to straighten up himself, wincing when his whole body protested, fighting the urge to throw up again.

"No time for what, Frankie Boy?" the big man used the old name out of habit.

"You can call me… Marty, but Frankie Boy is… good as well…"

"What's the story?" Jason pressed curiously.

"Short version… for now. I've been sent undercover to investigate the recent murders in the neighborhood. We suspected that there's a human organs' trafficking behind it…" Deeks explained trying to keep his emotions at bay, a sense of dread ran through his blood remembering his body pinned helplessly to the metal table. He shivered unconsciously "Look, they will come to you… soon. We have to… find a way to get out of here, because I… do you think you can run?"

The big man was puzzled because of the request, then he realized what Deeks' word meant "We're getting out of this… together, son…"

The cop chuckled, regretting it immediately when his stomach protested vehemently and he had to retch once again.

"Hey… calm down, breathe" Jason couldn't hide his concern for the young man he still cared about so much "Marty? Come on son, answer me…"

"I… can barely stand Jason… you have to go to Miss Milly's and ask for Thomas…" Deeks panted, trying to get the control of his breathing back "He's… his name is Callen, he will help you…"

"I don't have any intention to leave you here son, no way… you're here because of me, so I'll get you out!" the big man said very determined.

"Jason… please… I am here because this is my job…" the cop was finding hard to stay awake, the mix of drugs were still in his system and his mind could not focus any longer "Listen to me now. I saw three men in here, the doctor and two assistants who are those two well dressed men who got us … if we work together, we might be able to take them down. When you'll find Callen, tell him that Schneider is behind all of this…"

"No! I said we'll get out together and this is what we'll do. Ok?" Jason's tone didn't leave space for any complains.

In spite of the situation, Deeks smiled, the big man was still protecting him "I'm sorry Jason… I… I didn't mean to lie to you…" he hadn't finished talking when he felt a big hand on his shoulder.

"No need, son… you did your job and… it was nice having someone around for a while"

"You're a good man Jason… too good" the cop felt his body trembling as a tight vice clenched his stomach "Damn it" he ground his teeth, doubled over for the excruciating pain.

"Marty! What's up?" the big man shouted alarmed.

"I'm… good… hell" Deeks muttered, moaning "Damn drugs…"

Jason helped him as much as he could, in spite of the bindings still preventing his hands to move freely "You know Marty, it takes a lot of courage doing what you do… " he was making circles on the cop's back, hoping to sooth his pain. He stopped abruptly when he heard footsteps approaching "They're coming…"

"Help me, please…" there was a pleading note in the blond detective's voice, a clear sign of his discomfort. He felt strong hands putting him to his feet and immediately flashes of colored lights danced in front of his eyes, even if the room was pitch black "Ready for the show?" he told his friend with a joyful note.

"Let's get out of here!" Jason stated firmly, trying to hide his growing concern.

When the door opened, the two men jumped into action. In spite of his weakness, Deeks launched himself against the first man stepping into the basement, sending him to the floor. In the meantime Jason, reminding himself of his boxer-past, took care of the other man, knocking him down with a couple of well delivered punches.

The cop was having hard time in his task though, he was too weak and nausea mined his stomach; the bound hands weren't helping at all. The other man, he recognized as Braun, moved on top of him, punching him on his face, then getting up, he kicked Deeks in his stomach.

"Aagghh" the cop's scream almost died in his throat as he curled on himself, protectively.

Braun was trying to deliver another kick when Jason stopped him, literally launching him to the ground with uncharacteristically strength "Are you ok, son?" he wondered, helping Deeks.

The cop couldn't even respond, too busy retching and fighting the wave of nausea contorting his stomach.

"Come on, we need to get out of here" the big man lifted his friend on his feet as he weighed nothing and he guided him outside the door. They started walking along the corridor Deeks remembered slightly, looking for the exit. Jason tried to open a couple of doors but they were all locked "Are you still with me son?" he wondered, feeling the almost unresponsive body of his friend barely moving beside him.

"Good… I'm good" came the weak answer.

The big man knew they had to find their way out, his young friend needed a doctor, a real one, not like the one who did this to him… and he needed one soon "We're almost there son, almost out of here…" as an answer he obtained a muttered sound coming from the cop who was losing his battle with consciousness.

They walked for other few minutes when finally a door opened revealing a flight of stairs that lead outside "We made it, son… we're out!" Jason almost yelled happily, but his happiness didn't last long. A cold voice froze him.

"Stop!" Schneider appeared behind them, a gun in his hand "Stop or I'll shoot him" he aimed at Deeks.

"No… please, don't…" the big man screamed desperately.

"Good… now, you two, get back down here… slowly…" the doctor ordered.

The young detective's confused mind understood what was happening and he knew that he had only one chance. Using all of his remaining energy, he wriggled from his friend's hold and using the fact that they were in a higher position at the top of the stairs, he launched himself against Schneider, dragging him to the ground.

The doctor lost the grip on the gun that fell away from him "Son of a bitch!" he yelled trying to get rid of the dead weight of the cop.

"Jason, run!" Deeks shouted at the top of his lungs "Run!" he repeated as he tried to hit Schneider, missing him.

Jason realized what his friend was doing it, he wanted to go back and help him, but he knew that doing so he might be caught by the doctor or his men he heard approaching. The young cop was giving him enough time to get out of here "Marty…"

"Run!" the cop said again, but his voice was losing strength.

Schneider was almost free and was reaching for the discarded gun, but Deeks with one last effort grabbed his ankle, making his stumble.

"Run Jason… please" he begged as his teary blue eyes locked on his friend "Please… get out of here"

This time Jason listened to him, turned on his heels and started running away.

When he saw his friend disappearing from his view, the cop let go his grip and Schneider was finally free, but the big man was long gone "You filthy little piece of scum" the doctor yelled furiously, kicking the man on the ground.

Deeks tried to protect himself as much as he could, but it was too much… the pain unbearable and his body too weak, too tired to fight. He gave up and darkness finally engulfed him as oblivion welcomed him.

* * *

So this is just the beginning of what happened to Deeks... and now he is all alone...

Please let me know what you think. As always I appreciate it... a lot! Thanks in advance!


	8. Chapter 8

You guys are amazing... and you leave me without words with your support! Seriously... thank you all!

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 8

Kensi was worried, plain and simple, and she didn't do anything to hide it. It had been almost a week and they hadn't heard anything from Deeks, Callen had been at the shelter almost every day, but the cop had never showed up. In spite of everything her teammates had told her, she couldn't take away that feeling, that gnawing sensation at the pit of her stomach, that told her that something was wrong with her partner. Every calls she received was simply a torture, scared that it might be someone from LAPD telling her some bad news about Deeks.

Frustrated, she got up from her desk and started pacing up and down the bullpen, uncaring of Sam's and Callen's presence.

"Kensi, I know you're worried and all, but you know you're driving us crazy, don't you?" the blue eyed team leader said, but his words died in the air, his friend too lost in her thoughts. He exchanged a glance with his partner, who slowly got up and put his big frame in front of Kensi.

"Oh, sorry Sam… I was…"

"Driving us insane!" finished for her the ex-Seal.

She bowed her head, guiltily "Sorry, I am just…"

"Worried, I know" this time it was Callen's turn to speak for her.

"Do you mind stopping doing that? This is a bit creepy…" she told them both.

Sam grabbed her shoulders, gently, looking straight into her mismatched eyes "Kensi, we're worried too, but it's not making a furrow in the floor that will make you feel better…"

Kensi sighed heavily, knowing that her friend was right, but she couldn't help herself. She hated when Deeks was away for an undercover operation, but mostly she hated the fact that she was not out there with him, having his back. She was aware of how good he was, she was not questioning his abilities, it was just the fact that she hadn't liked this whole operation since the beginning, there were too many _if_ and too many _but_. Her partner was alone, in an hostile environment, while there were people around ready to kill without second thoughts. How could she be calm and relaxed? "I know Sam, but… it's been almost a week and he knows that we could be worried. Deeks would try to contact us, to let us know he is ok…" _to let me know he's ok_, she silently added in her head.

The ex-Seal could not complain with her logic. He wanted to believe that it was too early to start being concerned, but deep inside of himself, he knew Kensi had a point. His mind wondered for a second at the whole Ortega-Lazik mess… back then, they started worrying just after few hours Deeks had disappeared from the radars, why should this time be different? Even if he was not close at all to the shaggy haired detective at that time, he remembered the fear he had felt when they had realized the cop was alone with Lazik and his men in the warehouse and it was not something he wanted to feel again.

"Miss Blye is right" Hetty appeared from nowhere using her calm voice that didn't betray any emotions, but her eyes said something different. There was concern into them, pure concern "I received a call from Lieutenant Bates, asking me if we heard from Mr. Deeks, it's been a week since we updated him about this operation and he was getting a bit restless. He added that this behavior is nothing like Deeks'… especially considering our involvement"

Callen was waiting for less than this to make a move, so he got up abruptly "Ok, I'll go back to the shelter and see if someone has seen him or his friend"

"I'm coming with you. And don't you try to stop me" Kensi said firmly "He's my partner…" she added, her tone softer. She didn't want to show her feelings so openly, but at this point, she didn't care at all.

"Ok, I am coming too then" Sam smiled, shaking his head "Someone has to keep an eye on you…" he winked.

Hetty nodded gravely. She was pleased to see how her team had gone attached to the LAPD detective, they had made a long way from the moment their liaison officer had joined them, but deep down, she was a bit scared, not wanting to imagine what would be the repercussion on her team in case something bad happened to the young cop "Go then and bring good news back" she told them, watching them walking out of the bullpen in a rush. She sighed heavily "You better be safe, Mr. Deeks… you better be".

* * *

The moment they stepped through the door of the shelter, their eyes started scanning the big place, looking for the familiar face of their friend. To prepare them, Callen had told both Sam and Kensi about the changes he had noticed in Deeks in the last month, so they wouldn't be surprised just in case they were going to be face to face with the young detective. The team leader was especially worried about Kensi's reaction, knowing how tight the bond she had with her partner was. He was going to talk to her, when a voice called him loudly, or at least called with the name he was known around here.

"Thomas!" Milly greeted him with a big smile planted on her face "I see you brought some help…"

Callen smiled back, the older woman's the joy of life was contagious "Yeah… kinda…" he replied, getting serious "Milly, have you seen Frankie Boy or his friend in the past few days? It's been awhile and… you know I like spending time with that funny guy…"

The woman studied him intently, moving her knowing eyes from Callen, to Sam, stopping on Kensi. Her expression hardened "What do you want from that boy?" she asked suspiciously, there was something in these three people that bothered her. She didn't have a negative impression about them, but Frankie Boy was one of her boys and she only wanted to protect him.

It was Kensi who broke the awkward situation "Miss Freeman, we just want to know if he's ok… nothing more…" her voice cracked just a little, showing her true concern.

Milly caught sight of that, sensing the struggle in the young woman's eyes, her deep worry "Who are you? And why do you care about him? He's… he's just…"

"A friend" the female agent said, without hesitation "A very good one..."

The older woman narrowed her eyes, puzzled. She truly could see these people cared about Frankie Boy, but she didn't know whether she could trust them. Where were they when her boy needed help? Where were they when he came back here, living on the streets? "I have already asked you, but you ignored me… so I'm asking you again, who are you and what do you want from him?" she said suspiciously, with a cold voice.

"Miss Freeman, my name is Sam Hanna, I'm a NCIS agent and these are my teammates, Agent Callen and Agent Blye" the ex-Seal told her, smiling gently.

"NCIS?" Milly furrowed her brows, even more confused now.

"Yes, NCIS as Naval Criminal Investigative Service" specified Callen.

"Is… Frankie Boy is not in trouble with the law, is he? Because he's a such a nice guy… I know he had some issues using drugs and all, but he is a very good guy…" the older woman couldn't hide the fear gripping her heart "I'm sure there must be a mistake he is…"

Kensi cast a glance to her friends who nodded at her as they were giving her permission to tell Milly everything "Miss Milly, Frankie Boy could be in trouble, but not because of something he might have done"

The older woman shook her head, puzzled "I… I don't understand… please, tell me what he got himself into"

"Miss Freeman, Frankie Boy is a LAPD detective working undercover in order to take down the organization responsible for the recent deaths in the neighborhood" the female agent said with a little trembling in her voice "His name is Marty Deeks… and he's my partner. We've been working together for three years by now"

"We haven't seen him or heard from him for almost a week… his friend's and his life might be in danger…" Sam intervened, trying not to show his own worry "We need to find them, as soon as possible"

Milly was speechless. She had always suspected that there was much more behind Frankie Boy's behavior, she had always known that the boy was smarter than he let the rest of the world know, but a cop? No, she never imagined that… that was a shock for her, as it was the fact that two of the people she cared the most, might be in serious trouble "I… I don't know. I… haven't seen them in days. I didn't think it was strange, it happens very often that even the regulars here skip some meals, not showing up every day… but…" she paused, swallowing hard at the thought that had just occurred to her "You don't think that they are… that… no… I mean, I'm sure there must be another reason…" she looked for a glance that could take away her fear, but the grave expression on the three agents' faces just confirmed her deepest worries "Oh God… no…"

"Miss Milly, look…" Callen started but the woman interrupted him

"It's Milly… for you. You're friends of my boy, so… you're my friend too" she stated firmly.

Kensi felt a warm feeling cuddling her heart at the woman's words, she could sense how much Milly deeply cared for Deeks; the older woman was not disturbed at all by what she had just found out, by the fact that one of the men she was so fond of had lied to her, she was simply scared for a man she considered family… the NCIS agent smiled at the irony, at the fact that her partner was finding so much love from strangers, much more than he had ever had from his own family. In her mind she could hear Deeks telling her that it was just because of his natural charm and good looking aspect. Sighing, Kensi nodded at the other woman, a kind, thankful smile, curved her lips "Thank you"

"Milly, do you have an idea where we can find them? Do you know the place where they spend their nights? Maybe we can take a look around…" wondered Callen.

"I… I don't know. You have to understand that life here is not easy. These people…" Milly indicated the crowded room "…can fight over a piece of cardboard box, over a jacket or a simple hat. They don't go all around telling where they found shelter for the night for the fear that someone might steal it from them… I can ask to some of my regulars here, but I can't promise you anything"

"It's better than nothing, thank you" Sam understood what the woman was explaining them, realizing how hard the last month could have been for their friend. Sometimes they tended to underestimate Deeks because of his attitude, because his playful mood, because of his childish behavior, but the blond cop was very good at what he did, there was no sense in denying it, and the fact that he had blended perfectly in the difficult environmental played in his favor.

"Here, this is my number… please call us" Kensi was giving the older woman her business card when they heard a commotion coming from the entrance of the shelter.

"Help… Help!" a deep voice screamed "Help me please!" there was a desperate note in those few words.

The three agents turned towards the source of the confusion and they saw a big man approaching them, his hands handcuffed in front of him, a scared expression transfigured his face.

"Jason!" Milly shouted when she realized who was the man "Oh my God!" she was shocked by the general appearance of her friend.

"Milly…" Jason said, falling to his knees right in front of her, his head rested on the ground as he panted heavily, clearly exhausted.

"Someone call an ambulance!" the older woman shouted before turning her attention back to the big man "Jason, what happened to you?" she asked, gently as she tried to help him into a more comfortable position.

Callen went to help her, noticing the still fresh bruises on the man's face "Jason, what happened? Where's Frankie Boy?"

"You're… Callen" Jason stated, almost surprised to find the other man here, in front of him, panic could be easily read in the man's eyes as he grabbed Callen's jacket with his bound hands "You have to help him… they'll kill him… they're going to kill him. He… saved me, helping me to escape and I… I couldn't help him…" tears rolled down her bearded cheeks.

The blue eyed leader was surprised as well to hear his name "Jason, where is Deeks?"

"Warehouse… on the 18th Street. He said… he said to tell you that Schneider is behind this…" the big man was still holding Callen's jacket tightly as it was the only thing that kept him standing "I… I don't know what they did to him, he said they gave him some drugs… but you have to save him…"

"We'll find him Jason, I promise you that we'll find him" turning towards his teammates, Callen told them "Sam, call Eric and tell him to check every warehouse on the 18th Street and to call LAPD, ask them to meet us there. Kensi, you stay here with Jason and Milly…" he couldn't finish because his friend interrupted him.

"No way, Callen! I am coming with you. It's Deeks, Callen… you can't leave me behind!" Kensi told him, trying to control her emotions.

"Kens, I… I don't think it's…"

"Stop doing that! I said I will come with you…" her mismatched eyes sparkled in a mix of anger and concern. She was aware of what her teammate was trying to do, but in spite of his worry for her, she needed to be there when they will find Deeks. She needed to see with her own eyes.

Callen bowed his head, defeated, he knew since the beginning that it was impossible to stop Kensi "Ok… Milly, can you take care of him?" he pointed his glance to Jason who was struggling to stay conscious.

"Of course… you go and get my boy back" the older woman reassured him, smiling.

Kensi was turning away when she felt a rough hand holding her wrist "You're Kensi… you're Frankie Boy… Marty's friend" Jason told her sweetly, with a soft voice so uncommon for a big man like him "I… I can see why he likes you so much…"

She was a bit startled, not understanding why this man knew about her… what did Deeks tell him during the month they had spent together? "I… yes, he's my best friend…"

Tears veiled the big man's eyes as he squeezed her wrist "Please, save him…"

Kensi didn't know why, but she felt a tight vice clenching her stomach and a sense of growing fear was taking possession of her seeing this big man so scared about his friend's fate "We'll get him back" she said, but her voice cracked a little.

Jason nodded, still crying "I know you'll do everything you can…"

Sam patted his two teammates' shoulders "Come on, let's go!" guiding them outside "LAPD is already moving on site…"

* * *

With Eric's help, they found the warehouse where Jason and Deeks had been held captives, they found the basement that had been their cell. They even found the room that had served as a medical laboratory, with the metal table right in the center of it, but they didn't find what they were looking for. There was no trace of their friend or of his captors… what made things even worse, was the fact that there were no cameras around the area so they were completely blind. They didn't have any clue to find Deeks. They looked for suspect vans leaving the surroundings, but there were too many warehouses of the most various commercial activities and for this reason, there was a continual coming and going of vans. Checking all of them would take a lot of time, a lot of work… and sadly it was almost impossible.

In spite of their best efforts, they didn't have the slightest idea of how to find Deeks… he was on his own. Alone.

* * *

_Present time_

She had been sitting in the plastic chair for hours, her long legs needed some stretching, her back ached and she had a stiff neck, but she didn't have any intention to leave. This was the only place Kensi would have wanted to be, here, at his partner's bedside, waiting for him to wake up.

Her eyes could not get away from Deeks' lying form and no matter how much she looked at him, she found hard to believe this man was the same person she had said goodbye to one month and half ago. He had lost too much weight, the long beard couldn't hide his hollow cheeks… he looked so thin, so fragile, even the golden blond of his hair was just a long lost memory as much as his tan.

He was still unconscious, but he tossed and turned in bed, shaken by intense tremors, moaning and whimpering, unconsciously fighting the bindings that still blocked his movements, encircling his bandaged wrists and ankles. The doctors had been worried he might hurt himself, mindful of Deeks' violent reaction when he woke up during their examination, so they had thought it was a good thing to keep him restrained. It pained her seeing him like that, tied to the bed, actually it broke her heart, but she could understand the doctors' point of view. Almost, at least.

Kensi moved the chair closer to the bed and took his fisted hand in hers, hoping he could relax. He was so tense, all of his muscles and nerves contracted painfully because of the high amount of drugs still pumping in his system, running through his veins, burning him through the inside.

"No more… please… no more… run… run… let me go…" he muttered incoherently between cracked lips. He was delirious, his mind lost in a living nightmare completely unaware of the fact that he was free now… that he was safe and back to his friends.

"It's ok, Deeks… you're safe now" she told him, trying to reassure him with her caring voice as she wiped away the sweat from his flushed face with a wet cloth, starting from his forehead and stopping on his neck. Doing so, she could feel the intense heat emanating from his body as the fever was still gripping at it "You're safe now" she repeated fighting the tears forming in her eyes.

Two days had passed since the moment Deeks had showed up at the market over the beach, but he had never woken up completely. He had opened his eyes more than once, but they had always been glassy, completely unfocused, and he hadn't recognized where he was or who was there with him. Dr. Lambert had explained them, that it would take a while before the cop could be at least coherent enough to have a normal conversation or to recognize the people around him, but being there with him was probably the best way to give him some reference points, something he could hold on to get back to reality. For this reason, Sam, Callen, Hetty and mostly Kensi had taken turns to spend time with him, hoping he could finally wake up and tell them what happened to him.

"You'll be good as new, you have only to wake up… and start talking. You know, I miss hearing your silly jokes, I miss teasing you… damn it, Deeks… I even miss your surfer drawl!" she paused, as her hand looked, once again for his, that was clenching the sheets so tightly, grasping the white fabric in a strong vice "I miss you, Deeks…" she admitted, bowing her head, closing her eyes.

It was then that she felt him struggling in the bed, as he wanted to get rid of the bindings holding him steady "Aaarrgghh" he cried out as his back arched and he started thrashing even more violently "Let me go!" his words were so desperate, so full of terror, so filled with pure horror… it was just heartbreaking watching him doing that, hearing all the pain coming from just few syllables.

Kensi jumped on her feet, trying to keep him steady, finding him once again staring at her with his unfocused eyes that had lost all of their deepness, all of their life "Deeks, calm down… please" she said but he didn't seem to realize she was even there.

At her touch, he wriggled even more as he was even more scared "No… don't touch me… please… no more…" tears rolled freely on his hollow cheeks "Please… no more… no more…"

"I don't want to hurt you, Deeks… it's me… look at me…" she cupped his face, looking straight into his blue orbits, shocked by the fear, by the pain she read into them "It's Kensi… you're safe with me…"

For a moment there was a hint of recognition, his body stopped moving. Deeks blinked repeatedly as he was trying to clear his vision, as something was surfacing from his confused mind… "Ken…si…" his voice hoarse and broken.

Kensi smiled, sweetly, overwhelmed by the emotions filling her heart. He had recognized her "Yes, it's me…"

"Don't let them… hurt me… please, let me go…" he begged with a childish note "Let me go…" he cried out.

She was responding to him, trying to reassure him, when Dr. Lambert and a couple of nurses stepped into the room, probably attracted by Deeks' screams, but as they approached the bed, the cop reacted even more violently, trying once again to get rid of his bindings.

"Let go of me!" he yelled desperately finding some unexpected strength, his eyes searched for his partner's.

"Deeks!" Kensi yelled when one of the nurses pushed her away.

"No! Stop it… please, stop…" he cried out when the doctor started touching him, flashing a penlight into his eyes. This made him react even more violently, wriggling like he was a caged animal. His head was shaking, his eyes closed tightly, his teeth ground, in the mere attempt of escaping Lambert's examination "No… more…" he murmured.

"Can you just free him? He was calming down when you walked inside… he…" Kensi was still speaking, but the doctor interrupted her.

"Miss Blye, maybe it's better if you leave now…"

"No! Kensi… please… make them stop…" there were tears rolling down Deeks' face and he sounded even more desperate now "Please… make them… stop…"

"Oh hell!" it was too much for her. Kensi moved towards her partner, moving aside the other nurse and the doctor, and when she was at his bedside, she started unstrapping him "It's ok Deeks, I'm going to free you now… ok? Everything is going to fine…"

"What do you think you're doing?" Dr. Lambert told her, attempting to stop her "He's going to hurt himself… or one of us"

She turned to face him, anger filled her mismatched eyes "I said that I'm going to untie him, with or without your permission" she saw the doctor studying her expression, confused, so she added "Trust me… I… I know him…"

Lambert hesitated a moment, then nodded, defeated, stopping the nurse who wanted to intervene.

Kensi untied her partner starting from his ankles "It's ok, Deeks… hang in there, just one moment. I'm cutting you free…" seeing no violent reaction, she did the same with his wrists "Here you are…" she told him, gently, holding his hand and sitting on the bed "It's ok…"

Shaking like a leaf, Deeks straightened up himself, his free hand grabbed his partner's jacket and he buried his face into her shoulder "Please, don't let them hurt me… please…" he sobbed, still trembling "No more… it hurts…"

Fighting her own tears at the sight of her friend so broken, she engulfed him into her arms, making soothing circles on his back "No one will hurt you, Deeks. I got you… I'm here…" she cast a glance at the doctor, who released the breath he was holding.

Kensi let her partner cry to sleep, guiding him back to the bed and tucking him in, then she took the chair and still holding his hand, she sat down feeling a presence behind her back.

"I'm… sorry, I should have listened to you" Dr. Lambert told her, showing a bit of guilt "I… I'll come back in a while to check on him"

The man was almost at the door, when Kensi called him back, without taking her glance away from her partner, not even for a second "Dr. Lambert?"

"Yes?!" the doctor looked at her puzzled.

"Bring him back… please" she simply told him, with a begging note, so uncharacteristically for her "Just bring him back"

* * *

So now we know what happened to Jason... and that the team is completely clueless. What will happen to Deeks?

Please let me know what you think... I appreciate it! Thanks in advance!


	9. Chapter 9

It's time for a new chapter... I hope you're still with me ;)

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 9

_Few days before_

The needle broke his skin and the vicious liquid flowed through his veins, poisoning his blood. Again… The familiar burning sensation spread all over his wrecked body and his mind started wandering as flashes of weird images moved in front of his eyes. It was happening again and consciously he couldn't take it anymore… he was tired and there was no energy left in him, but there was a need both physical and mental, a craving he couldn't control... Sadly, in spite of the confusion thriving in his brain, he was aware of what they were turning him into. An addict.

He knew what was going to come now… first there was the intense heat wave engulfing him, his body burnt, consumed by vivid flames; then everything calmed down and a sensation of peace cuddled all of his senses… but sadly it was not going to last long enough. Soon cold shivers were going to shake him like a leaf, making him tremble violently as he fought the tight restraints strapping him to the metal examination table. He could feel the blood oozing from the torn skin of his wrists and his stomach contorted by stabbing flashes of excruciating agony. He wanted to scream, but the pain was so intense that not a sound could come out from his dry mouth…

Deeks didn't know how long he had been here, how many days had passed since the moment Jason managed to escape their captors; it was impossible to keep track of the time when most of hours were spent waiting desperately for another dose of drug that could make him feel a little better… even for a little moment. He hated what he had become, what they made of him… but he was tired of the pain… he only wanted to give up, to end all of this, as soon as possible. There was only one thing that kept him going on, that gave him the strength to resist… it was a blurred image that once in a while flashed in front of his eyes, coming out from the back of his mind. It was the image of a beautiful woman, with long dark hair and two mismatched dark eyes… The more the days passed, the harder it was for him to focus, to keep his mind straight, but she was always there, smiling at him, telling him not to give up, swearing that she was going to save him.

"Ken…si…" he muttered between chattering teeth as his body was almost convulsing, consumed by the pain contorting his muscles and nerves. Tears rolled down his cheeks "Please… help me… please…"

"Hey, he's starting again!" a voice resounded in his ears, but he didn't even know whether it was real or not.

Someone slapped him on his face and his head exploded, stars danced in front of him. He heard a loud laugh of men having fun at his expenses, enjoying seeing him in pain.

"Ahahah isn't he a pathetic excuse of a man?"

"Sick…" Deeks murmured feeling his stomach turning upside down, he knew he was going to throw up. He hated when it happened, usually they didn't even care to clean him up, leaving him like that for days "Getting… sick…" with the residual energy left in his body, he tried to put himself into a sitting position, at least as much as the metal restraints allowed him to, turning his face on one side, right a second before he started retching.

The two men in the room laughed even louder, enjoying his discomfort "You filthy skunk… you are so pathetic… Look at you"

"Hey Braun, look… he even pissed in his pants" the other man, Heggert, pointed out making fun of him.

"God, what a stench…" Braun said disgusted, moving to a sink in the corner of the room and filling a bucket with cold water that he threw all over the restrained cop, with a good dose of strength.

Deeks cried out, shocked by the sudden gesture, then, trembling uncontrollably, he started sobbing "Please… stop… let me go… please…" but his reaction gained him only just more laughs and some mocking.

"Enough!" a steady voice finally said, silencing both Braun and Heggert "We have an order to fulfill, so we need to prepare our patient for the surgery"

The cop's blood froze, even in his confused mind, he knew what was going to happen… he knew what they were going to do to him. He knew he was going to die probably. Other tears formed in his eyes, but this time he was not thinking about himself, he was thinking about Kensi, about the fact that he was going to leave her "I'm… sorry…" he muttered weakly "I'm so… sorry…"

"Oh don't be sorry…" Schneider told him, showing himself in his patient vision field "You should be happy; you're going to give me the opportunity to earn a lot of money… do you have an idea what two kidneys are worth it in the black market? A looooot of money…" he slapped the young man's face, smiling evilly "So don't be sorry, you'll save two lives… maybe… since I'm not so sure your kidneys are still very functional" a devilish grin curved the doctor's lips "…but mostly, you'll help me getting richer!" with a fluid movement, he pulled the little medical trolley standing near the wall and pulled it closer to the metal table on which his patient was lying. He prepared a syringe and without great care, he injected it into the cop's arm.

"No!" Deeks screamed, struggling once again in his binding, causing himself just further pain. His wrists were bleeding profusely and his cracked ribs, a little gift of the beatings these men had offered him when he had helped Jason to escape, protested violently. His reaction though didn't last long… whatever Schneider had given to him, wasn't the usual mix of drugs. It was something different, that was supposed to make him relax, because he felt his body engulfed by a warm feeling.

"I'm sorry, but this is all the sedative I can give you… I don't want you to die on me during the surgery, ruining, in that way, my profit…" Schneider then beckoned to his men, to cut the patient loose and to turn him on his stomach.

The cop felt the metal binding got loose as his almost unresponsive body was turned upside down. He tried to put up some resistance, but in vain. Braun yanked his head by his hair and smashed it on the table, reopening the old wound on Deeks' temple that started bleeding again.

"Son of a bitch! This teaches you not to react!" the man yelled angrily.

"Braun, enough now" Schneider scolded him; he was suiting himself, wearing latex gloves and scrubs over his clothes "Let him be, he won't go anywhere" he added asking his men not to tie his patient to the table, confiding that the sedative could keep him quiet during the rudimental surgery.

"But… are you sure? He might…" Heggert protested, not sure that this was a wise idea. He had been one of Schneider's assistants during all the surgeries and he knew that all the patients didn't have enough strength to resist at this moment of the treatment process they had been subjected to, but he had a feeling that this one was different. He still remembered what kind of punches the blond hobo had thrown at him, his jaw was still hurting.

"I said it's ok!" the doctor approached his patient, rolling up Deeks' shirt so the lower part of his back was bare and exposed, then he picked up a scalpel and started his job.

The moment the sharp blade cut through his skin, a rush of adrenaline pumped into the cop's veins, awakening from the drug-induced torpor. It was like an electrical shock reached his body, shaking him violently. His instinct kicked in and he started wriggling uncontrollably.

In spite of the pain in his lower back, an unexpected strength filled his muscles and he struggled to get up.

"Keep him steady!" Schneider yelled continuing his work, he was so greedy that he didn't care at all about his patient's reaction. His only thought was to get those kidneys. He pushed the scalpel even deeper, cutting the skin and the flesh.

Deeks cried out in pain and once again his body protested vehemently… his legs kicked reaching Braun's face, sending him to the ground with a bloody nose.

"Braun!" Heggert called. The little distraction cost him though, because the cop reacted and freed himself from the man's grasp.

"Arrgghh…" Deeks moaned fighting the flashes of agony contorting his body. He continued kicking and waving his fist in the air, blindly… in the end though, his desperate attempt gave him an unexpected result.

Heggert stumbled to the floor hit by a heavy punch, taking with him the trolley with the medical equipments that fell on Schneider's leg. The doctor was forced to stop performing the rudimental surgery.

The cop was in that moment free. With unsteady movements, he got up and staggering, he started running to find a way out. Literally, he launched himself towards a door with anti-panic handle that opened and he found himself outside. The sudden light almost blinded him since his eyes had been in the dark too long. Uncaring of the pain, of the blurry vision, of the fact that his legs burned for the effort of sustaining him after so many days in which he had been strapped to the bed, he moved on… walking unsteadily, wandering without a destination. He only knew that he had to keep moving, to keep running if he wanted to save himself, if he wanted to save his life. And so he did. He ran.

* * *

_Present time _

Callen and Sam walked into the hospital room. They were bringing a paper bag with coffee and donuts in their hands.

They knew what they were expecting to find once they stepped through the door… they had seen the same scene over and over, day after day since the moment their friend had been found.

Kensi was sleeping in the armchair positioned at Deeks' bedside, holding his hand.

The cop was curled on one side, shaking and mumbling in his restless sleep. He was not a nice sight for their eyes, it broke their hearts seeing him like that, but at least they knew he was alive. At least they knew he was safe now.

"Do you think we have to wake her up and send her home?" Sam wondered casting a glance to Kensi.

"And you think it would work? She's been here almost all the time and it's been a week…" Callen echoed smiling bitterly.

"Yeah, you're right… if only he could get any better" the ex-Seal was simply saying out loud what was passing through his mind. In spite of all their differences, he was getting very attached to the shaggy detective, seeing him day after day as a member of their family. Those days in which they didn't know where he was, if he was still alive or not, were some of the worst of his life… Worrying for his friends was in his nature, he couldn't help himself doing it, and sadly, right now, he didn't have to do that only for Deeks, but even for the rest of the team.

In fact, the atmosphere at the Mission had been tense in the last three weeks, everyone was worried, nervous, concerned… no one joked around, he had to admit that it was creepy. It was weird to think how much they all had missed the young detective's laid back attitude, his ability to make everyone smile even in the most serious situation, his way of seeing things that always brightened their days. Watching him now, in that bed, unable to make a coherent speech for more than five minutes, his whole body craving for a little dose of drug, was just a torture, for all of them.

Callen didn't need to ask anything to his partner to know what was running through his mind. He knew Sam too well, but mostly he shared the same sentiment. During his years as a CIA agent first, then in the NCIS, he had seen so many cases go wrong, he had watched a lot of people dying, but this time, with Deeks, it was something different, because now they were a family; no one touched a part of his family and got out unscathed… no one. His eyes landed on his friend, curled in bed and he felt a pang at his stomach, a sense of guilt. He had been Deeks' handler during the whole operation, he should have known that something was not right when the cop didn't show up for their meetings… he should have found him sooner, so he shouldn't be forced to go through all of this. Deeks shouldn't be forced to suffer like he was suffering right now.

His blue eyes moved to Kensi's sleeping form and again, he couldn't stop the guilt. Her forehead was wrinkled even in sleep, a clear sign of her deep worry, of the fear for her partner's fate. Kensi and Deeks shared a tight bond, built in more than three years of partnership, three years in which they had learnt to trust each other, to relate on each other even in the smallest things… they were so different, but for this reason they compensated each other, completing each other. And together they worked, they worked great. With Deeks out of commission, Kensi was a bit lost, like she was missing a part of herself. With Deeks here, in a hospital bed, suffering at every breathe he took, Kensi was simply going into pieces.

With his free hand the cop was clenching tightly the blanket covering him and he was moaning and whimpering as he was living and re-living a nightmare; just looking at him like that, was heartbreaking.

Dr. Lambert had told them that he was getting better, but the withdrawal was still long to overcome. Whatever those people used to dose him, had affected the cop badly. At least in the last couple of days he had started to recognize the people around him, even if for a short period of time, before, once again, his mind lost itself in the darkest twists and turns of his brain.

"No!" Deeks shouted all of the sudden, opening his eyes filled with panic and terror, sitting up.

"Deeks!" Kensi woke up abruptly when her hand lost contact with her partner's. She jumped on her feet putting herself right in front of him, so he could look straight at her "Deeks, look at me… it's Kensi. You're safe…"

"Kensi…" he murmured, blinking repeatedly "What… I…" he was confused and still scared.

"It's ok, it's ok" she guided him back to the bed, helping him to lie down "Just rest…."

He gave her a little smile, before his stomach protested, contorted by a gnawing sensation that seemed to tear him apart "Oh God…" he said before curling into a ball, closing tightly his eyes to fight the pain.

Kensi, uncaring of the fact that Sam and Callen were in the room, sat on the bed, massaging her partner's back, caressing his hair matted with sweat "It'll pass soon… just few more minutes… you'll be good soon…" she saw him closing his eyes and soon falling again into a restless sleep.

"You are very good" Sam told her, smiling.

"I'd prefer not to have the need to be good… I'd prefer having him around, annoying me, rather than this…" she got up and her voice cracked a little as a single tear ran along her cheek.

Callen moved in front of her, taking her shoulders in his hands "Kensi, he will get better soon. You heard the doc, he's improving…"

"Oh yes, he's improving, but I can't stand seeing him like that… not anymore. Damn it, G… it breaks my heart…"

The blue eyed team leader guided her into an embrace, something he didn't do so often, but it was highly needed right now "He's strong… and he knows that he has something worth coming back to… he is fighting, so you shouldn't give up" he broke the hug, looking at her "Why don't you go home for few hours? You take a shower and eat something… Sam and I will be here with him…"

"No, I can't. I have to stay here… I… he…" she blabbered.

"He will be here when you'll come back… but you need to take care of yourself" Sam approached her "And do you think he will like to see you like that? If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for him. You know better than me how much he cares about your well-being"

"This is low Sam…" Kensi smiled, for the first time in days.

"So is it a yes?" insisted Callen.

Kensi was admitting her defeat when the team leader's phone buzzed.

"Hey Eric, what's up?" he asked curiously. There was a pause when he was listening to what the tech was reporting to him, then he finally added "Ok, we'll be there in half an hour"

The female agent looked at him with scrutinizing eyes, realizing that something important had been said "Callen?" she simply asked.

"Eric said that there is some news about Schneider. He didn't tell me much, but he looked pretty excited"

"So, what are we waiting for?" Sam didn't know to be so impatient. When he had heard that they might have a lead on finding who did this to Deeks, his heart had started beating madly in her chest.

"What about Deeks? I… you said you were going to stay with him… I can't just go home and leaving him alone. There's no way!" the struggle in her voice was evident. She wanted so badly to get out of here and catch that bastard, but on the other hand, she didn't have any intention to leave her partner alone, not in this situation… not in this moment. He needed some familiar faces, someone he trusted… someone who made him feel safe.

Callen narrowed his eyes, he knew Kensi had a point, but he was aware that she needed a break from this place or she could get sick as well, then an idea popped out of his head "Ok, I might have an idea…"

"Shoot..." she told him curiously "And just for the record, I'm not going home to take any shower. I'm coming with you!"

"Kensi, I don't think…"

"Sam, I said I'll come with you. Plain and simple" Kensi stopped the ex-Seal before he could go on.

The team leader sighed heavily, then defeated he said "Ok, you can come… just let me make a call" he picked up his phone and searched through the numbers he had memorized until he found what he was looking for. After few minutes of waiting, he heard someone picking up his call "Miss Milly? I'm Agent Callen… I have a favor to ask you…"

* * *

The three NCIS agent rushed into Ops like a fury, all of them realizing that they finally might have something concrete on Schneider or Eric would have never called them.

"Eric, what have we got?" Callen asked as he always did.

"Mr. Callen, Mr. Hanna, Miss Blye, I didn't expect you all" Hetty greeted them, a bit surprised. She thought that one of them would have stayed at the hospital "How's Mr. Deeks? Any changes?" she already knew the answer since she was keeping a tight leash on the doctors that were taking care of the young detective, but she wanted to see how the rest of her team was coping with this situation.

"Dr. Lambert said he's getting better" Kensi answered a bit impersonally, like she didn't believe too much in what she was saying.

"And? Why do I sense a bit of… veiled irony?" the Operations Manager lifted her eyebrow skeptically.

"I… I don't know Hetty, he's… he's just…"

"Miss Blye, I know it's frustrating, but we have to believe that Mr. Deeks will be fine soon; if the doctor said he is getting better, it means that he is actually getting better" Hetty approached Kensi, touching gently her arm "I know that you'd like to have him back, but it will take a little bit of time. And he will make it, that's all that matters"

"But Hetty… he…"

"I know it's hard my dear, I never said that it was going to be an easy ride, but it's the result that counts…" the older woman smiled gently "I figured you left someone you trust with him or you would have never left him"

"Milly and Jason are with him" Sam told her, nodding satisfied.

"Excellent choice. I'm sure they'll take care of our Mr. Deeks" Hetty turned to face the big screen "Mr. Beale, I thought you had something important to share with us"

The young tech felt a rush of embarrassment, but he fought it, pressing some buttons on his pad "Well, Nell and I were trying to find other camera footages of the day Deeks showed up at the market, because we figured that if he was running away from someone, this… someone might be looking for him, maybe even chasing him. We have not been lucky until today, when we found on the net a video taken with a cell phone"

"This video" Nell added working on her own computer "It has been taken from a different angle"

The video appeared on screen and images started moving. In spite of all the times they had watched other videos, they all couldn't hide their anger when they saw their friend in there, when they saw his terrified eyes, his unsteady walk, his pained expression… when they saw the way the Police Officers treated him. Sam's hands fisted tightly, his knuckles whitening. Callen remained impassible but inside of him there was a fire burning. Kensi bit her lips nervously, her first instinct was to take her glance away, but she knew that she had to watch it, that she had to observe it intently trying to find everything she could to find the men responsible for all the suffering her partner was still enduring.

"Eric, what should we be looking at? You said there was something useful in th…" Sam stopped talking abruptly when he discerned some figures dressed a bit too out of place for a market, one of them especially looked familiar… a man wearing scrubs "Schneider…" he mumbled.

"Yes, in flesh and blood. Julius Schneider. His two friends are Helmut Heggert and Hans Braun, two Germans, former mercenaries with some basic medical knowledge" Eric told them triumphantly "But please continue looking, it's getting interesting"

Everyone's eyes were locked on the big screen. They watched the three men trying to reach Deeks, stopped only by the big amount of people crowding the place. Actually they had almost caught him, when the Police showed up. When they realized that they couldn't capture him again, they retreated, moving back to the adjoining street where a blue van was waiting for them. While on the other side the Police Officers were arresting Deeks, Schneider and his men got in the van and disappeared.

"Eric are you able to…" Callen was asking, but the tech had already a big smile planted on his face.

"Already done" Eric smiled cunningly.

"The van is registered to a company called Marine's Med which is supposed to sell medical equipments to hospitals and private clinics" Nell intervened, working once again on her computer "The company has its base in a warehouse Downtown LA… and…"

"Caleidoscope followed the van that was directed towards that area" Eric intervened, showing the image of the blue van on the freeway "I'm sending the address to your phone"

"Mr. Callen I suggest you to use a big dose of caution during this operation" Hetty instructed the leader of her team "I know the personal implication of this case, so I would like to remind you all to keep your minds focused. A little distraction might be fatal" then turning towards Eric, she said "Mr. Beale, please, put me in contact with Lt. Bates, we may need a little support and LAPD should be involved in this operation"

Callen simply nodded before turning on his heels and walking out of the room. Sam followed him immediately. Kensi was doing the same, but her boss stopped her.

"Miss Blye, I confide in your judgment, not to make anything stupid" the diminutive woman stated firmly, with a tone that didn't leave space to a reply "Mr. Deeks needs you now… I'm sure you won't disappoint him"

Kensi couldn't do anything other than smiling, she knew Hetty and she knew she cared about all of them, this was just another way to show that openly "Don't worry, I have all the intentions to come back" she winked.

Hetty nodded, smiling slightly "I bet you have…" her eyes followed the younger woman, sighing heavily. Man, she wanted so badly that everything would come back to normality, but sadly even if they were going to catch Schneider, the path was still long. Too long…

* * *

And here it is... this is what happened to Deeks before he showed up at the market. How was it? I wish it still makes sense and that didn't disappoint you too much ;)

Let me know what you think, I appreciate it! Thanks in advance.


	10. Chapter 10

New chapter is up, thanks to everyone who's still reading this story!

I hope you can still enjoy it and since it's been a while, please forgive my English. All mistakes are mine!

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 10

Milly Freeman had seen a lot of bad stuff in her life; she had lost a son when he was still too young, her husband never got over that and drank away his life, drowning his sorrow in the alcohol. Even at the shelter, she had sadly witnessed people dying, people got lost... she should be used to see the suffering, she should be used to see the pain. But all in all, she was not ready to see one of the people she was truly fond of, in such an agony.

When agent Callen had called her, asking if she could keep the young man company while they were busy catching the men responsible for his sufferings, she had agreed with pleasure, because this man was still her Frankie Boy. She knew his real name was Marty Deeks, that he was a cop, but he will always be Frankie Boy for her.

She picked up the bowl of water and with a wet cloth, started refreshing his face, his neck, his arms, his hands... she did that with deliberate slowness, like she wanted to give him a sense of peace, of calmness, something that could make the nightmare he was lost into, a bit more bearable, a little less dark. She was still caressing his face, when she found a couple of veiled blue eyes staring straight at her "Hey" she smiled gently, her hand still on his bearded cheek.

Deeks was confused, surprised to find her here "Miss... Milly?" he asked trying to straighten up, fighting the ache of his whole body "What... what are you doing here?" his glance couldn't barely hide the panic, the fear "Where's... Kensi?" he pushed with his hands in the futile attempt of getting up.

"Sshhtt... it's ok, son. Your friend is fine... all of your friends are fine. They..." she hesitated unsure whether or not telling him the entire truth "...they had a job to do"

"No... I... I need to go. They... they need me..." the cop was still trying to get out of the bad, but he was so weak and his body was engulfed by a numbing sensation "I... I have to..." his words died in his throat when a stabbing pain hit his stomach ad he had to curl onto himself "No!" he cried out, desperately.

"It's fine, son. It's just fine. You have to relax, your friends will be back soon and I'm sure they'll like to see you feeling better... you have to take care of yourself and relax, so soon you'll be good as new" Milly passed a hand through his hair, like a mother could do to her son.

"No, no... they... I..." tears started flowing on his face "I am tired of this... I don't want to feel this pain, not anymore... please... no more"

"Sshhtt, it's Ok Marty... don't talk like that. Soon you'll be fine..." she continued caressing him, but she knew that his mind soon will be blank again. She had seen him doing that more than once.

Deeks turned on his good side, guiding his legs to his chest, ignoring the stitches on his lower back pulling, ready to be torn apart "No, no more pain... please don't hurt me... please" he couldn't control the trembling that was shaking him like a leaf.

Milly's heart melted at the sight, but she didn't stop what she was doing; she was still caressing him, running a hand through his sweaty hair "No one is going to hurt you here Marty... no one..."

It was in that moment that the door of the room opened and a big man showed up

"Jason... hey. Come here" the woman told him smiling, stretching a hand so he could catch her.

Tentatively and silent, Jason moved towards the bed, a worried face darkened his expression "How is he doing?"

"He's lost... in pain, but he recognized me, we can call it an improvement. I know it's not much, but better than nothing" she took Deeks' hand in hers and continued talking directly to the cop "You know that you have to get better soon, we... your friends, Jason and I are all waiting for you to come back to us. You know, I would like to have the opportunity to know the real you..."

"It's true Marty... I want you back. You... you..." the big man's voice cracked, filled with his emotions "I still have to thank you properly, because you saved my life that day, back at the warehouse. You gave me time to get out of that place and contact your friends... you risked your own life for me. I will never be grateful enough for that..." a lonely tear found its way out of his eyes.

Milly turned to face the big man, reading the sincerity, the true concern in his dark eyes, so she took his hand in hers too "Be faithful, you'll be able to tell him everything soon, when he'll be good enough to keep his mind straight, when the fog will be cleared from his brain..." her eyes moved from the big man, to Deeks even if she pained her seeing him suffering so much, seeing his wrecked body shaken by uncontrolled cold shivers, mumbling incoherently.

"You know Milly, he... I care for him, I care about him. Maybe you think I'm stupid, because it's not much time that I know him, but... he had... has something special that went deeply into my soul. I... I know it's weird..."

"Jason, it's not weird at all; it's a very special sentiment. And I'm sure he thinks exactly the same... that he cares about you as well. Sometimes two people simply click... just because it is meant to be, without any particular reason. And you two clicked... as much as he and I did... our boy is special"

"Oh you can bet on that" a voice echoed, as a diminutive woman walked into the room "Mr. Deeks is special, he has the ability of lightening even the heaviest situation, he can bring a smile on everyone's face. It's a gift... especially considering what kind of job he does, what kind of things he is forced to face every day" Hetty explained, stopping next to the cop's bedside "He could be the most annoying bastard, but a second later he's the most sensitive person ever..."

"Miss Lange, did he..." Jason started but the Operations Manager corrected him.

"It's Hetty, Mr. Goodwin" she clarified.

"Hetty... did he... has Marty been hurt in the past? When we were alone, I... I saw him... crying in his sleep... I... I only wanted to make him feel better..."

Hetty stared at the big man, nodding gravely "Yes, but... he survived, as he will survive this time too" she put a gentle hand on Jason's forearm "Thank you, Mr. Goodwin, for being his friend..."

"Actually I am the one who has to be thankful..."

This time Hetty smiled "You will thank him soon"

"How can you be so sure? Look at him... I... it's too much, damn it..." the big man wiped away the tears rolling down his cheeks.

The Operations Manager was touched by Jason's caring behavior, by his deep concern, so she grinned cunningly "I'm sure because he's a cheeky bastard... and because I simply know it... he promised not to disappoint me and he knows very well not to do that at all"

Both Milly and Jason didn't know why, but they felt reassured by what the diminutive woman told them. There was something about this woman, something that any of them could put a finger on, but they felt like they could trust her.

"Have you heard, Marty? Come back to us... soon..." Miss Milly said, holding once again Deeks' hand, kissing it sweetly, with motherly affection "We're all here for you, don't forget about it..."

* * *

"Eric, do we have eyes on the warehouse?" Callen asked the tech as Sam parked his Challenger not far from the place where Schneider and his gang were supposed to be.

"I'm working on it Callen, but at the moment we're blind!" Eric couldn't hide a hint of disappointment, he hated when he couldn't be more helpful to the team, especially in a situation like this one, where his technical support would be very important.

"It's ok... where are LAPD teams?" intervened Sam, casting a glance at their target in distance.

"They are five minutes away... Hetty said to wait for them" it was Nell's voice this time.

"I don't like it... I don't like to wait any longer" Kensi's impatience transpired from her words. She wanted to get Schneider and all of his bunch, sending them to jail and making them pay for what they did to her partner and to all the other men they captured and eventually killed without mercy. Her blood boiled just thinking about Deeks and everything he was going through and she felt the urge to hit the bastard doctor.

"Patience Kens… Eric might not have eyes on the warehouse, but we do. No one will sneak out without our permission" Callen's voice was determined and cold. He shared Kensi's sentiment and there was nothing he wanted more than catching those people, but on the other hand, he knew that they had to wait for back up. They didn't know how many people were inside, how armed they were and how dangerous they were, so having a bigger number of men for the burst was not a bad idea at all.

A few minutes later two SWAT vans stopped right behind Sam's car, so the NCIS agents got out of it and met with the Officer in charge. They were surprised to find Lt. Bates there.

"What? Surprised to see me here? I'm not just a bureaucrat… and this is my operation as well" the older cop told them as he was putting on his vest "And in spite of everything, Deeks is still one of my men"

Sam nodded gravely, maybe they had underestimated the man, after all he was the one who said that Deeks had a home at NCIS "Ok, there are no cameras on the warehouse, but I don't think there will be a problem" he smirked.

"No, I don't think so" Bates smiled, glad to see that the NCIS agents were giving him some credit "Did you know how many people are in there?"

"No, we have just seen a car stopping by and two men got out of it, walking inside. They are still in there…" Callen updated the cop, who took out a map of the place.

Lt. Bates grinned when he saw little smiles curving the agents' lips "We have our ways too…"

"You should have used your ways backing up Deeks though" Kensi snapped a bit harshly than she intended, meaning though every word she said. She hated the way her partner had always been left practically alone during LAPD operations, especially when they almost cost his life more than once.

"Kensi…" Sam started but the Lieutenant stopped him.

"It's ok, I can understand she's mad at me… I know how much Deeks means to her" he paused looking at the female agent straight in the eyes "I just hope that you won't direct your anger at me while we'll be inside that warehouse, that would be a bit unfair. We're on the same boat here"

"Oh don't worry, I will never stab you in the back… I'd prefer a good old punch on your face" Kensi smiled and doing so the others knew how serious and determined she was.

"Fair enough" Bates tilted his head, chuckling amused.

"Sam, Kensi and I we'll go through the front door" Callen intervened guiding the conversation back to its original subject "Do you have snipers? Because there is a couple of perfect spots for them… to cover our backs"

"They are already moving there, there and there" the cop indicated some buildings around the warehouse which were the exact spots the NCIS team leader would have picked up himself "One of my team led by Lieutenant Clemence will go through the back entrance and another one, led by Lieutenant Morris, will be split in two, one for each side. And I…" he stared at the NCIS agents "I'll go through the main entrance with you… if you don't mind"

"Be our guest" Kensi simply said, as he checked her gun and rifle.

Bates simply nodded gratefully, without adding anything else.

"Ok, let's do it… quickly" Sam stated, casting a glance at his teammates. Their serious expressions mirrored his. He didn't want to think about the fact that they were going after someone who hurt one of their own, he didn't want to be distracted by his rage, but he couldn't forget about Deeks, about his scared and terrified blue eyes. It was impossible, even for a trained Seal as he was. He took a deep breath before he started walking towards the warehouse, hiding behind the buildings around them, using them as a protection.

Callen and Kensi followed him immediately, without the need of any other word and Bates did the same bringing up his own weapon.

They arrived unnoticed at the front door and took a look inside. They saw at least six men busy working at their desks, but no sign of Schneider. They exchanged a glance and after the Lieutenant signaled them that the SWAT teams were in position, they burst into the warehouse "Federal Agents!" they shouted.

"LAPD, freeze!" Bates echoed as the back door opened as well with a loud thud.

The men at the desks caught by surprise jumped on their feet, all of them moving for their guns and started shooting, right after turning over their desks and using them as shields.

"Kensi, Sam… Bates, are you all right?" Callen shouted lowering his head so he wouldn't get hit by a stray bullet.

"We're good!" Sam answered for all of them as he peeked out so he could shoot back "Bates, where the hell are your men?"

Right when the ex-Seal had finished talking, they heard a big commotion coming from the back door and Clemence's team stormed inside.

"Here they are" Bates stated calmly, with a satisfied grin planted on his face.

"Do any of you have visual on Schneider?" Kensi wondered, scanning her surroundings. She saw a couple of their opponents going down, hit by the SWAT's teams fire. She got out of her hidden spot and fired a couple of shots herself, hitting another target.

"No, not a sign of him…" Callen yelled from his position, he was a little bit away from the others and a little bit more exposed "Sam, I need to move from this place, I don't think this crate will resist any longer"

"At my count of three G! Kensi are you with me?" Sam replied, looking for his teammate's eyes, he could only imagine what was going through her head, but he needed her to be focused.

"Yes, on your three!" she simply said, tightening the grip on her gun.

"Bates, cover Callen… at my three… G, you ready?" the ex-Seal shouted so his voice could be loud enough to be heard by his friend.

"Come on Sam… count!"

"One, two… three!" as Sam finished yelling the last number, Kensi, Bates and he got out of their sheltered spots and started shooting, meanwhile Callen, shooting himself, rushed towards his friends. In distance they could hear the cover fire of a SWAT team.

"Aagghh!" Lt. Bates cried out as a bullet hit him in the shoulder, making him falling to the dusty ground.

"Bates!" Kensi noticed him going down and uncaring of the bullets ricocheting, she rushed to get him to a covered spot.

"Kensi, status?!" the ex-Seal asked loudly, patting Callen's back as his friend joined him to a secure place.

"Bates has been hit… he's bleeding a lot" she updated her teammates who unconsciously released their breaths.

"I'm fine… I had worse" the Lieutenant told them, panting.

Kensi removed Bates' vest and then used the man's scarf to try to stop the bleeding "Here, put some pressure" she instructed him.

"Thanks" the man told her, wincing in pain.

"Hey… I still owe you a big punch on your face, I couldn't let you die on me…" she grinned cunningly as a chuckle escaped from the wounded man's lips.

"Now, I see why you and Deeks get along so well…" he simply said.

She furrowed her brows, confused, and when she was asking for some explanation, she heard the SWAT team shouting that the place was clear and that all the opponents had been neutralized.

Lieutenant Morris moved towards the NCIS agents, noticing Bates on the ground.

"I'm good Morris, check the warehouse…" the wounded man said "Any casualties?"

"Not on our end" Morris stated "Well, except for you" he smirked.

"Oh hell…" Bates' pride was a bit wounded.

"Eric, send a couple of ambulances. Bates and a couple of our so-called- friends have been hit " Callen instructed the young tech.

"Callen, any news of Schneider?" Eric asked, anxious to know if the operation had been a success.

"No, there is no trace of him or of his buddies…" the blue eyed leader sighed as a sense of uneasiness caught up with him. Something was not right here "Sam, let's take a look around here"

He didn't have to add anything more, because his friend knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Yeah, I know G… something is wrong" Sam simply added, voicing his doubts.

"What the hell are they talking about?" Bates asked trying to straighten up a bit.

"Don't you think it's a bit strange that we haven't found a single computer in this place? And no… filing cabinet? It's like they knew someone was coming… they knew we were coming!" Kensi couldn't contain her anger and disappointment "Not to mention, no Schneider at all…"

"What are you implying Agent Blye? That there's a mole? That someone warned them of our arrival?" Lt. Bates attempted to get up, but the pain in his shoulder stopped him "Ah hell!"

"You better take it easy" she told him sarcastically "And yes, I think there's a mole. Deeks suspected it since the beginning… especially considering how Brad Singleton died. This is why Hetty asked you not to divulge any details about his undercover operation… we didn't want his cover to be blown…" her voice cracked a little, thinking about her partner. She couldn't help herself… every time she thought about Schneider, she couldn't get out of her head the image of Deeks running through the crowd, scared, beaten… lost in his drugs induced nightmares and her rage mounted.

"I… I can't believe… I trust all of the men who knew about this burst and there was no time to warn Schneider and his gang. Hetty contacted me this morning. Emptying a place like this takes time and with time I mean days, not hours. Maybe when they found out that Deeks has been arrested, they decided it was time to move to another place"

She reflected on Bates' words, he had a point, maybe she was just overreacting, but she couldn't take away the feeling of dread filling her heart, the distinctive sensation telling her that there was more to this story than it appeared.

The arrival of Sam and Callen took her away from her thoughts "Hey, found anything?" she wondered curiously.

"No, there's nothing here. There are signs that there were a lot of stuff in this place but everything is gone now" the ex-Seal explained with a hint of disappointment in his voice "We have just contacted Eric to see what he can find from the cameras in the area"

"It's not enough though..." his partner stated as his eyes moved slowly to the paramedics stepping into the warehouse; he frowned as an idea started forming in his mind. His train of thoughts was interrupted for a moment when a medical team arrived to take care of Bates.

"What do you have in mind, Callen?" Kensi had noticed the intent features of her team leader and since she knew him very well, she was aware that, probably, he might have an idea.

"I think we can have a little chit and chat with those two" he pointed his finger to the two other men the paramedics were taking care of; both of them didn't seem badly wounded.

Sam smiled pleased, even after all these years in which they had been working together, he still enjoyed how quick his partner's brain was "I think I like this idea"

"Bates, do you mind..." Callen couldn't finish his question.

"Do whatever you think it's needed to find them... just keep me in the loop, but please report to me only" these were the last words the cop said before he was taken to the ambulance "You know where you can find me"

"Ok, sounds like a plan... but I..." Kensi hesitated, no matter how much she wanted to interrogate those men, her mind couldn't focus on anything other than her partner. She didn't know why, but she had a need to see him, to see how he was doing and mostly to be there with him and for him. She trusted Milly, but the older woman was not her.

"It's ok, Kens... go. He needs you, as much as you need him" Sam told her, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

A bit embarrassed, she nodded gravely "Thanks" she was already running away when Callen called her back.

"And Kensi, keep us posted..."

"I'll do that. Of course. And you two just remember to do the same. See you... later" and with that she stormed outside.

Callen and Sam exchanged a knowing glance as they smiled sweetly.

"Will they ever realize what's so obvious?" the ex-Seal asked ironically.

"Sooner or later they'll do... just give them some time" patting his partner's shoulder, Callen started walking towards Schneider's men "Come on, now. We have some work to do"

* * *

He opened his eyes and once again he found himself in the cold room; it was dark and the silence was so oppressive to become deafening. He tried to move, but it was impossible, this time it was even worse. This is time not only his wrists and ankles were restrained, but his whole body was like paralyzed, all of his muscles uncooperative and unresponsive. Panic filled every cell of his brain as a growing sense of dread clenched his chest into a tight vice.

He couldn't breathe... air, he needed air. Blood was pounding in his ears and his heart was beating so madly that it seemed ready to explode.

"No... no..." he murmured "This is not happening... this was just a bad dream" he closed his eyes hoping that once he opened them again, all of this was gone. They said that he was safe, that no one was going to hurt him anymore, so why was all of this happening again? Why does everything hurt so badly? He wanted to scream when his stomach contorted, sending flashes of pure agony through his system... he could feel the bead of sweat adorning his forehead as little drops of perspiration wet his shirt.

"Stop... please stop!" he re-opened his eyes and saw him, the man who had caused him all of the pain and he couldn't control himself anymore. He tried to wriggle, struggling to get rid of the bindings, but the more he did it, the tighter they became, tearing his skin apart.

"You know you can't escape... you're mine... and you will always be. Whenever you will go, I'll find you... because you're mine..." an evil laugh escaped from the man's lips.

"NO! Please... stop it... please..." he cried, like a child, deprived of all of his dignity.

"I know what you want... you only have to ask for it... come on, don't be such a stubborn little kid. Ask for it..." the voice was mellow but full of pure evilness.

"No... no, please... no more... no more" he repeated over and over.

The man with the hissing voice, his tormentor, grabbed his face, painfully squeezing it, preventing him to move a single muscle "Ask for it..." the man insisted "ASK FOR IT!" he yelled angrily.

He cried out, terrified "Please... give me one shot, please... just one more..."

"Good boy" the man released his face, patting his cheeks, deriding him, as he picked up a syringe and injected him.

"No... no..." he tried to say but the burning sensation of the drugs flowing through his veins paralyzed him "No... no... NO!"

Deeks opened his eyes, panting heavily, as he tried to keep his breath under control. A nightmare... it had been another nightmare, but it had been so vivid, so real. He could almost feel Schneider's distinctive scent filling his nostrils, his whole body shaken by violent tremors.

He embraced himself, hoping to calm down his heart that was running a marathon, but the memory of the umpteenth haunting dream, was too fresh.

He took some deep, painful breaths of fresh air and finally his mind cleared a bit. Deeks realized he was in the hospital room... and that he was alone. Where were his friends? Why did they leave him all alone? What if... no... it was not true, they said that they will never leave him alone, that they will always be at his side... but what if they lied to him?

Schneider's words echoed in his confused mind _You are nothing, there's no one out there that cares for a piece of scum like you. I am your only friend... I am the only one who can give you the peace._ A tight vice clenched his stomach, it was a too well known sensation, it was a physical need... he was craving for another dose, he needed one. Why didn't they give him one? Why did they want to see him suffer like that? He had to get out of here, away from here... away from this pain... he couldn't go on like that, not anymore. It was too much... it was just too much. He only wanted this to end... he only wanted to be free, from everything and from everyone... and there was only one way to stop all of this...

Collecting the few energy left in his wrecked body, he put himself into a sitting position. Deeks stopped inhaling deeply, then with one last big effort, he got up, unsteady on his shaking legs. The whole room started spinning and for an endless moment he fought the nausea, leaning against the bed. When finally he was a bit more in control, he stepped through the door of his room and started walking along the semi-desert corridor.

* * *

So Schneider escaped the team... and where is Deeks going?

Let me know what you think about this... thanks in advance!


	11. Chapter 11

Once again I would like to thank everyone who spent some time reading this story or leaving a review... I truly truly appreciate it! You all made my day.

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 11

Milly smiled at the nurse she crossed, while returning to Marty's room. He was sound asleep when she had left him alone for few minutes to make a phone call to the shelter, to check if everything was ok. She had needed the little break, to take a breath of fresh air and to stretch her long and old legs, but mostly she needed a break from the disturbing sight of her young friend. She hated seeing him like that, but she knew otherwise that she had to stay with him, because he didn't deserve to be left alone fighting his demons. She was at the door, when she saw Kensi approaching.

"Hey sweetie, how did it go?" Milly asked curiously, noticing though, the disappointed expression planted on the younger woman's face "Did you get the bad guys?"

Kensi shook her head, upset for the outcome of the burst "We got some of them, but not the man behind all of this. He was already gone when we got there"

"I'm sorry... maybe next time?" the older woman tried to reassure the NCIS agent, but she was aware that it was impossible.

"How's he doing?" Kensi changed the subject, preparing herself to walk inside and see her partner.

"Still the same... I hate watching him going through those nightmares" Milly's expression hardened "I wonder why... how could anyone do something like that? It's just... I mean..." tears veiled her eyes and she was unable to stop them from falling.

"We'll find them Milly... rest assured that we'll find them" fire burnt into her mismatched eyes, the fire of determination.

"I know" the older woman smiled faintly "Now, why don't we go inside? I'm sure he will be happy to see you when he will wake up" while talking she opened the door of the room.

Once they walked inside, they immediately realized that something was out of place... well actually something was missing...

"Deeks!" Kensi shouted horrified when she saw the empty bed and the tangled sheets "Deeks!" she called again.

"But... he was here... I left just for few minutes, to make a call... I..." Milly was shocked and extremely guilty "Kensi... where is he?"

"I... I don't know, but... this is what I'm going to find out" the NCIS agent rushed outside, taking out her phone and contacting Ops.

"Kensi, hey... are you back at the hospital? How's Dee..." Nell was talking when Kensi interrupted her abruptly.

"Nell, Deeks is not in his room! Can you check the cameras of the hospital and see if you can locate him?"

"What do you mean he's not in his room? Kensi... you don't think someone took him...do you?" the petite analyst wondered concerned.

"I don't know Nell... all I know is that he's not in his room... and he's just too weak to go that far on his own..." the concern was growing inside of the female agent, minute after minute. She didn't want to think about any of the possible scenario, it was simply too scary. She only wanted to find her friend, as soon as possible "Nell?"

"I'm checking Kensi... the hospital is not that small..." Nell was speaking but at the same time, working on her computer "Here... I... I can see him... he is... he..."

"Nell, where the hell is he? Where is Deeks?!" there was so much desperation in Kensi's voice, but at this point she didn't care to show it at all. This was not the time to hide her feelings, this was the time to save a life, her best friend's life "Nell, are you still there? Where is he?"

"Kensi... you better move, quickly... he is... he is on the roof and it seems that he... oh no, Kensi move! Now!"

"No, no, no, no... what are you doing Deeks? No... don't you dare doing that! Don't you dare..." without listening to her body that was yelling at her to slow down a bit, Kensi started climbing the stairs, her heart beating madly in her chest, air was sucked from her lungs "Please Deeks, don't do it... please wait..."

* * *

Callen stared silently at the man sitting in front of him with a cold expression planted on his face; his blue eyes sparkled with determination.

Sam was standing behind him, his arms crossed on his chest, legs slightly wide apart. He looked like a statue, but his glance could incinerate everything and everyone in a blink of an eye.

If their intent was to scare the hell out of their prisoner, well they wouldn't need to do anything other than what they were doing, because it was working perfectly.

The man was sitting in the chair like he was on a pile of eggs, his hands were nervously playing with each other and according to the bead of sweat adorning his forehead, he would like to be everywhere but here.

"How's the arm, Randy?" Callen asked the man, his voice, impassible and firm, didn't show any emotion.

"It's… good… not bad… I…"

Opening a folder laid on the table, the blue eyed agent, read through the lines, his lips curved into a cunning smile "I see you have quite a record, Randy. Robbery, assault of a public officer, verbal assault, indecent exposure, months spent in juvie and a couple of years here and there in jail…" he started, lifting his head "But you know that this time you're in a bigger trouble. This time we're talking about a homicide, well actually more than one. Fourteen to be more specific… not to mention abduction and attempted murder of a police officer. We're talking about something close to a… life sentence"

Randy swallowed hard, he couldn't believe he was in this situation. He had only accepted his cousin's offer for a job, now his cousin was dead and he was in such a horrible predicament "But… no… I… I didn't do that. I… I didn't kill anyone…" fear gripped his heart and clenched it, tightly "I don't know anything about… kidnapping anyone… and a cop… oh God… oh God… I'm going to feel sick…"

"You can get sick as much as you want… fourteen people Randy! Killed and thrown away like they were a piece of trash… they can't get sick anymore Randy…" Callen insisted sensing the man's discomfort, his fear.

"But I don't know anything, I swear… I'm not a murderer and neither was Larry…" Randy's voice cracked and tears formed in his deep hazel eyes "You have to believe me…"

"Believe you? Why should we do that? You've been found in a compound directly connected to the people suspected to be responsible for all of those deaths, you aimed a gun at Police Officers and Federal Agents, you pulled that trigger damn it! How do you think we can believe what you are telling us?" Sam made a step forward, making the man almost jump off the chair. He slammed a hand on the table to add more pathos to his action.

"But I didn't shoot… not even a single gunshot… I… I don't like guns…" this time Randy could not hold the tears anymore "Larry gave me the gun, but I… I didn't want it… I was there only because I needed some extra cash. I… my girlfriend is pregnant and I… I would like to… to marry her. Larry said it was an easy job… just a couple of hours to destroy some documents and I would have got out of that place with five hundred dollars in my pocket… Please, you have to believe me…"

Callen laughed up his sleeve even if he tried to contain himself; their plan worked again "What did your cousin tell you about the job?"

Randy inhaled deeply before talking this time, a little bit less on the edge after the agent's question. Maybe these men started believing him "He called me three days ago, asking me if I was interested to get some easy money. I told him that if he wanted me to take part of a robbery, I would have said no. I… I wanted to start something good for my son and for Jinny…" he paused as other tears formed in his eyes thinking about his future family. He wanted to be there for his son, not rotting in jail "Oh God, I don't want to end in jail for the rest of my life… what will it happen to my family?"

"Tell us everything and we'll see what we'll be able to do" Sam nodded to him, softening a bit the edge of his voice.

"I… Larry told me there was this man, this German, who was looking for people to help him moving his stuff from a warehouse to another place, destroying everything he didn't need anymore. He was going to pay 500$ for few hours of work per day. I was a bit dubious at first, but Larry told me it was a safe job… man, my aunt will be devastated because of his death. She has only him…" Randy buried his face in his hands, clearly affected by his cousin's death.

"Do you have an idea of where this German moved his stuff?" Callen narrowed his eyes, hoping to get some interesting information.

"We simply loaded a big truck… it… it was a weird one, I've never seen one like that"

"Weird? Such as?" the ex-Seal wondered puzzled.

"The trailer was of a very intense purple and on the truck there was the German flag… it was like a punch in the eyes. Only a crazy man could paint a truck in that way!" the man continued a bit relieved by the change of attitude of the two scaring agents.

"Have you seen the plate or something?" insisted the blue eyed agent, taking out his phone, ready to contact Ops.

"Oh yes. I have a great memory for numbers… and since I had to put the plate on a paper I remembered it correctly. It's 6JIV422…"

Randy hadn't finished talking yet, that Callen was already contacting Eric "I have a plate for you 6JIV422, it's a purple trailer… with the German Flag on the truck. It should have left the warehouse a couple of days ago… at least"

"On it Callen" the tech simply answered, closing the communication.

"I… I don't know if it's important, but… this German… he was there yesterday and he was arguing with another man. They were shouting so all of us heard what they were saying… the German told the other man that he should have warned them before, while the other man replied that they should have been more careful doing their job, that they shouldn't have lost the hobo… that they lost a lot of money because of their stupidity"

Callen and Sam exchanged a knowing glance. The German, who was probably Schneider or one of his two buddies, and the other mystery man were talking about Deeks.

"The man said that they should have killed the piece of scum, getting from him what they needed… that their little lack of thought cost them more than one hundred dollars" Randy continued, his tongue completely loose now "The German was very angry with the man, telling him that he should take care of the hobo instead of letting him have medical care at the hospital, but the man… wait I think the German called him something like Andrew or Anthony… no… Alfred, the German called it Alfred, well Alfred said that his hands were tight now, that even in his position he couldn't do anything about it… because the hobo was guarded by Federals…"

"Are you sure? Are you sure of what you're telling us?" Sam couldn't hide his anxiety "Will you be able to recognize the man?"

"Of course I'm sure… but the man was giving me his back and then I had to go back to my work. I… I didn't see him clearly… I only know he was tall, with sandy hair…"

Once again, Callen picked up his phone and contacted the Ops center "Eric, I want you to run through all the Police Officers involved in the case, everyone. Look for someone named Alfred, tall man with sandy hair. He might be our mole!"

"Are you serious?" the tech wondered a bit surprised.

"Yes, I'm serious… please Eric, do it quickly"

"I'll get back to you in a moment"

"Am I… going to jail for the rest of my life? For real?" Randy said with a feeble voice, sounding very childish.

"No, I don't think you'll do… maybe for a while, but I think you'll see your son growing up…" Sam told him, smiling gently. In spite of everything, he couldn't hate the guy, who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. All in all, Randy was not a bad guy.

"Oh thank God" tears rolled down the young man's cheeks, copiously "Thank you…"

Callen's phone buzzed "Eric, what have you got for me?"

It wasn't Eric though, it was Nell "Callen" there was something in her voice that put the blue eyed man on alert.

"Nell… what's wrong?"

"Callen… we have a problem… a big one…" she said feebly.

"What did you find?" Callen couldn't hide his concern, something on Nell's voice made him very uneasy.

"Nothing yet… Eric is still working on it. But we have a big problem… at the hospital… it's Deeks…"

It was then that their blood froze…

* * *

Kensi was climbing the stairs at high speed, her blood pumping in her ears as her heart seemed to explode in her chest. She had really wanted to take the elevator, but that bloody thing was just too slow for her own being and she was afraid she might be too late.

"Come on Deeks, don't do anything stupid… please, please, please wait for me… please" he murmured between ground teeth, not wanting at all to think about what could happen.

When Nell told her where Deeks was, she had felt a pang in her stomach and she was sure her heart had skipped some beats. He was on the roof, alone… probably confused, scared… no, he couldn't truly think about doing it. No, he couldn't truly think about killing himself.

She was going up, two steps at once, as fast as her legs allowed her to do, until finally she reached the door that opened up on the roof. The moment she stepped through it, her trained eyes scanned the open space, looking for the familiar figure of her partner.

"Deeks!" she shouted anxiously without receiving any answer "Deeks" she repeated, with an even more desperate note in her voice.

She searched again for him, but with no luck "Nell, are you sure he's still here?"

"He's in the opposite side" the petite analyst told her, unable to hide her concern as well "Oh my God… Kensi is climbing on the ledge!"

A pang, an intense sensation like an electrical discharge passed through Kensi's body when those few words reached her ears "NO! Deeks!" she ran, like she had never run before, until she saw him. Her partner was standing unsteadily on the ledge, still wearing the simple hospital gown, looking like a ghost. In the dim light of the incoming evening, he looked so pale, so thin, so different from the man she used to know. It was like she was staring at him for the first time, realizing for the first time how this experience had deeply affected him "Deeks…" she said sweetly, not wanting to startle him; he was in such a bad position, that even a little wrong movement could make him fall to the too distant ground.

He didn't give any sign of having heard her, simply looking in front of him… still, unmoving.

"Deeks… look at me…" she walked slowly towards him, scared to death that he could make that last step, that he could die right here, in front of her eyes "It's me…"

Deeks' body was shaken by violent trembling and the pungent air of the evening was not helping him at all "Go away…" he finally said, with such a defeated tone that broke Kensi's heart "Please"

"No way… I'm not going anywhere. I…"

"Go away!" he yelled more desperate than angry.

"No, I am staying… no matter what you have in mind, I'm staying here, with you. We're partners, don't you remember… we're friends" she was not sure that this was what he wanted to hear from her, but she was finding very hard to think straight in this situation. In her line of work, she had found herself more or less in the same position, with people threatening to jump down high buildings, but this was different. This was Deeks… this was a man who meant so much to her.

The cop's shoulders were hunched under an invisible burden, probably too heavy to carry, that was destroying him "I… I don't want you here" his voice was unable to hide the pain he was going through "Go away…"

"No, I won't go anywhere. I have already told you"

"Kensi, go away!" he cried out again "I… I don't want you to see me… like this… I… I can't… it's too much… It's just too much"

"Deeks, I can help you… please give me the opportunity to do that. Let me help you" Kensi felt the tears forming in her eyes, she had never seen anyone so broken, so hopeless.

"No! You… left me alone, because I'm… nothing… I…" a new wave of shivers shook his body as he started crying uncontrollably, dangerously dancing on the ledge.

Her breath was taken away by the movement her partner's body was doing, afraid that he might slip and fall down "No, this is not true… you're not nothing. You're my friend, my best friend… do you remember?" she walked a little bit closer, careful he didn't notice it "You're the only person I trust"

For the first time, he turned his head to face her, as her words had finally opened a breach in the walls surrounding him. Kensi was shocked by his general appearance, by those blue eyes so full of pain, so full of desperation, so lost.

"No, you can't… I… look at me Kensi… I don't know who I am anymore, I… don't…." he stopped, looking at the sky over his head "I… am just a… waste… and I… can't live like that…" he moved a little bit forward, swaying on the ledge.

"NO! Deeks no! Please… don't do that… please…" she was practically begging him, uncaring of the fact she was crying in front of him, uncaring of showing her emotions so plainly.

This shocked him and stopped him from moving any further "Why? Why do you care about me? I'm… just a freaking addict… look at me Kens… just look at me…" he extended his trembling hands, showing them to her, horrified at the sight.

Her heart melted at his use of the shorten, friendly version of her name "Deeks… there's no need for a reason. I… I simply care about you, you're important to me… I… I don't even remember having someone so important to me in my life. Please get down… and talk. You know we'll figure things out … together…"

Deeks hesitated, fighting the desire to stop all this pain, all this suffering "Kensi… I…"

She moved even closer, so close that she could almost touch him; she was even sure that with a quick move she could even grab him and take him away from that bloody ledge, but she didn't dare doing it. She wanted him to do it consciously, she wanted him to realize that his life was still worth living. She extended her hand, offering it to him.

Deeks looked at the offered hand as it was a devilish temptation; he embraced himself, a part of himself still wanted to jump, to end everything, but another part wanted to live, wanted to take the hand and trust her… trust her with his life.

She saw him shaking so badly that she feared he might collapse, that he might give up "Deeks, do you remember that laser beams room? I… trusted you, I gave you my hands… and you saved me. Trust me now, take my hands… please"

The cop burst out crying, but slowly he extended his trembling hand. Kensi took it and dragged him down, to the safe floor of the roof. His weight made her stumble and they both fell to the ground "It's ok Deeks… I got you… everything is going to be fine" she guided him towards her chest and he buried his face on her shoulder, crying… sobbing uncontrollably. She engulfed in a hug, making slow circles on his back.

"It's too much… I can't stand it anymore… it hurts…" he murmured, almost incoherently "It's eating me… alive…" he broke the embrace "I hate this… this consuming sensation… it gnaws my stomach and… contorts it… and all I want is just all of … this to end… I'm craving for a shot… I can't…"

"Ssshhtt, we'll take care of this, I promise you. We'll find a way…" she stared at him, hoping to see a smile brightening those deep blue eyes, a smile she missed so much.

"I hate this, Kensi… I… I don't like to… live like this… I… it's killing me…" Deeks grabbed her jacket, tightly, like his life depended on that grip "I… hate this sensation, this craving… it's too much… just too much…" he closed his eyes letting the tears flowing freely.

Kensi took his face in her hands, shocked by how hollow his cheeks were "Do you trust me, Deeks?"

"I… I… I don't know… he said… that I was… that..."

"Look at me… do you trust me?" she repeated, gently, her voice full of tenderness.

He looked at her, at her dark eyes, at the sweet lines of her face… and he nodded "Yes" he admitted weakly, as a heavy weight had been taken away from his chest.

"We'll make it… I have already promised you. Together, we'll get you out of this" she locked her glance on him, smiling "You're more than worthy Deeks… never forget about it. You're an amazing man, caring, loyal… dedicated. And you're my friend and I won't let you destroy yourself… I will do everything I can to help you. Everything… because you're too damn important and I… I know my life wouldn't be the same without you around…" she was surprised herself by her own words, by the way she told them to him so easily.

His eyes watered as his heart was overwhelmed by the emotions "I'm… sorry… I'm so sorry…" he said, leaning his head against her shoulder, and, sobbing once again.

"You don't have to be sorry… this is not your fault…" she engulfed him in a tight embrace, letting him know that she was there for him and that she will always be there "It's going to be ok, you'll be fine… I promise you. Everything will be all right" she didn't know whether it was what she told him or her simple presence beside him, but she felt him relaxing a little bit, in spite of all the tears he shed. A little smile curved her lips when she finally saw him succumbing to tiredness in her arms, his hand still clenched to her jacket.

She leaned her head to the wall of the ledge right when she noticed Sam and Callen running towards them with a scared expression painted on their faces. She gave them a reassuring smile, nodding slowly.

What happened later surprised her even more. Sam took off his jacket and covered Deeks' shivering body, then he gently passed one arm under the cop's shoulders and the other under his knees and lifted him up like he weighed nothing "I got him, Kensi"

Unconsciously, even in his sleep, the cop didn't want to let go Kensi's jacket, but once the ex-Seal straightened up and he was forced to let it go, his head moved towards Sam's shoulder, finding comfort in the position.

"I'll take him back to his room" the big man told her, giving her a grateful glance.

Kensi watched them and a river of emotions flooded her and she couldn't hold the tears anymore. She had tried to stay strong for her friend, trying to be his rock, but now it seemed that everything around her was going into pieces.

Callen approached her "Hey… you ok?" he knew already the answer, but he was aware as well that he couldn't push her too much. It was Kensi he was talking about.

"No, I'm not" she admitted angrily "We have to get him, Callen. We have to get Schneider and make him pay for what he did to him… he… it was the worst thing I have ever seen in my life… Deeks is…" she couldn't go on any longer. The memory of her partner on the ledge, ready to throw away everything after he had been deprived of everything, of his dignity… of his believes… of his own life, was still too vivid and it hurt. God, it hurt too much.

"We'll do Kensi… we will find him and I promise you, he will pay for what he did…" the blue eyed man hated seeing his friends suffering and he knew that Kensi will not be ok until Deeks will be fine. This was his family… these were his friends. His anger, if possible, grew exponentially "He will pay for everything he did…"

* * *

So what do you think? Does it still make sense? Please let me know.

Thanks in advance!


	12. Chapter 12

I think it's time for some action...

As always I can only thank you for sticking around. I appreciate it. Really.

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 12

"It was awful" Kensi said sitting in the chair outside Deeks' room where his partner had been checked by the doctors after his little trip on the roof. Callen and Sam were standing in front of her, while Milly was in the chair next to her "I… for a moment I thought he was truly going to jump. I… you should have seen him, his eyes were… man he was desperate, so overwhelmed by the pain, by the guilt… he…" she stopped lifting her head so her eyes could fix the ceiling, unable to stare at the others, not wanting to show how affected she was.

"But you made him talk… you saved him and I'm extremely grateful for what you did. Frankie… Marty..." Milly corrected herself, still not used to the young man's real name "…is important to me. I didn't like him because he was someone who was living on the streets… I liked him because the way he was, because of his smile, because I saw something in his eyes, something different. I'm glad I was right… and knowing what he did and what he went through, makes me respect him even more. So thank you Kensi…"

"Milly, I…" the female agent observed the older woman, understanding what her partner must have seen in her. Milly Freeman was not a woman who stopped in front of the appearance, she was a woman who could see the true nature of the people… and this was something rare in these days "Deeks is important to me too… to us" she added a bit embarrassed.

"A pain in the ass mostly, but our pain in the ass" Sam intervened, grinning as his mind was filled with good memories of moments spent teasing the cop, playing with him.

Milly laughed at the comment "Oh you should tell me more about this… I don't know why, but I don't find it hard to believe"

"Oh well, how many days do you have? Because we could write a book about all the annoying things Marty Deeks had done in the last three years" Callen said jokingly "But I think we're not able to go on without him around doing them"

The admission surprised Kensi a little, she was aware that her partner had grown on the two senior agents, but she didn't imagined to this point. Hearing those words coming from someone like Callen was very important "I… I wish we could show him all of this. He needs to hear this, from all of us…. He thinks that he's not worthy, that he is a waste… we have to work on him to change his mind"

"But first he has to work on getting out of this addiction…" Sam's voice was grave and tremendously serious "And trust me, it won't be a nice ride…"

"Sadly I agree with you Agent Hanna" Dr. Lambert appeared from behind the senior agents, nodding at the ex-Seal's statement.

Watching the doctor approaching, Kensi jumped on his feet "Dr. Lambert, how's Deeks?" she asked worried.

"He pulled apart some of the stitches on his back, he's a bit feverish, but all in all, he didn't do much damage to himself. He will be better in a couple of days" the doctor paused for a moment, looking at the people staring at him expectantly "The drug addiction is another story though. Whatever those men gave to him, hit him pretty hard… he's badly dependent on that stuff… I… I warmly suggest you to find a place for him, a good rehab center when he'll be released from the hospital… that for the record, will happen relatively soon. I have a couple of suggestions for you, good places run by trustworthy people, very discrete and peaceful, ideal for his kind of problem"

Everyone reflected on Lambert's words, they all knew that he was right, but the idea of what those bastards did to their friend, turning him into a drug addicted and the thought of what he was going to face, turned their stomachs upside down.

"Look, I know that it's hard… even to think about it, but it's for his sake" the doctor continued, sensing the struggle of the agents.

"We know and we'll do everything to get him back to his own self… we'll help him in every way, no matter how hard it will be" Kensi told him, her hands clenched into tight fists "I promised him that he was going to be all right and I have all the intention of keeping my word"

There was a long minute of silence, broke by Callen's phone ringing "Hetty, hey…" he greeted the Operations Manager.

"Mr. Callen, how's Mr. Deeks doing?" she asked with a not-so-hidden concerned note in her voice.

"He's resting now… but, it was bad" the blue eyed team leader cast a glance at Kensi, imagining what this day could have been for her too, with all of this up and down of emotions.

"And Miss Blye?" Hetty pressed, knowing very well that her female agent should probably be very touched by her partner's breakdown.

Callen reflected before answering "It was bad" he simply stated.

The Operations Manager remained silent for a while, then went on speaking "Mr. Callen, we have some interesting news that came to our attention while Mr. Beale was running the little research you asked him to do. Miss Jones is sending all the data to your phones"

"Thanks Hetty"

"And Mr. Callen, when you'll receive the files, I'm sure you'll want to jump into action immediately. I'm asking you just one thing… I don't care how you will do that, but get Schneider and whoever is in league with him" Hetty's voice couldn't hide her anger this time. In her position she had to force her men to work according to the laws, but this case was different. This case had hit too close to home for all of them, it was too personal. It was her family that had been touched "And do it quickly!"

Callen felt the communication closing and right after that the beep of the incoming message. At the same time, Sam's and Kensi's phone beeped as well.

They read intently what was on the files they had just received and soon the shock was clear on their faces.

"Son of a bitch!" Kensi swore, uncharacteristically for her.

"Morris!" Callen shouted angrily "How could he… gah…"

"Yeah I know, G" Sam said lowering his voice, there was nothing that he hated more than traitors, because this was what Lieutenant Alfred Morris was. A traitor.

According to the files they had just received, Morris and Schneider had known each other since childhood, when Morris' name was still Alfred Brinker. Their parents were close friends and had the same political ideology which resented Nazism. The two children grew up together, went to school together, their paths divided only after University, when Schneider moved to Medical school and Morris to Police Academy, but they had always been in touch.

Morris had been the one who had warned Schneider about Brad Singleton's operation and probably about the other undercover agent of the other precinct, he was the one who probably signed their sentences to death. He was as much responsible as whoever did it physically.

Silently the three agents thanked Hetty because she had been wise enough to force Bates to keep Deeks' operation a secret… they would probably mourn their friend's death in this moment if she hadn't done that.

"Come on Sam, let's go" Callen said patting his partner's back.

"On it G" the ex-Seal simply replied.

"Hey… I want to come!" Kensi called them as they were walking away.

"I thought you would like to stay with Deeks" Sam furrowed his brows puzzled.

"I... I would but..." she hesitated a moment, fighting her internal struggle "Sam, I want to get the bastard… I… I need to do it. I need to zip-tie Morris and Schneider myself…"

Callen looked at her, he was a bit afraid of her reaction if she was going to meet those two criminals, but he felt like she deserved to be there with them "Ok… but what about Deeks?"

"If I may…" Lambert intervened "Your friend is literally exhausted, that little trip he took, drained him of his energies and in addition with the dose of anesthetic I had to give him to stitch him again, that will make him a bit groggy, I think he won't wake up until tomorrow afternoon"

"And I'll stay with him" Milly told her, smiling gently "And this time I won't leave him alone, not for a single second…"

"Milly, it wasn't your fault" Sam tried to reassure him, voicing what everyone was thinking, none of them thought she was responsible for Deeks' escape.

"It's not true, it was my fault… but thank you for the vote of confidence" her voice was unable to mask the guilt that almost consumed her. Only the fact that the young cop was safe in her bed, made her feel a little bit better.

"Thank you Milly" Kensi moved to give the other woman an embrace "Tell him that… if he will wake up… I…"

Milly nodded, understanding exactly Kensi's feeling towards her partner, it was blatantly obvious "Don't worry, I'll do that"

"Ok, everything is set then. Sam, Kensi… let's go get those bastards!" and with that Callen turned on his heels followed by his teammates.

"Be careful" the older woman told them watching them leave "Just be careful"

* * *

The ride to Morris' house was spent mostly in silence, the lights of the night illuminated the whole city, making it another normal night for the rest of the world, but not for the team.

Sam was intently looking at the road while his hands held the steering wheel tightly, a concentrated expression on his face.

Callen was running through the new information they got from Eric's research, planning their future actions. His arm was leaning against the armrest of his seat, his hand right in front of his mouth.

Kensi, who was sitting in the back seat even if she had begged her friend to take her car, was checking her gun. Mechanically, without thinking, her mind was far away… at the hospital, with her partner. She couldn't take away the horrifying memory of what happened on the roof. The more she tried to forget about it, the more the memories invaded her mind and a tight vice knotted her stomach. Here, almost overwhelmed by the deafening silence, she realized the full extent of what happened this evening. Her partner, her friend… one of the most positive men she had ever met, a person who was always able to find the best in everything happening around him, had tried to kill himself… she couldn't even imagine how bad he was feeling to do that, how desperate he could have been, just to think of doing that and this made her even more furious than she already was, even more determinate to catch the bad guys.

Sensing their teammate's discomfort and deep sorrow, both Sam and Callen looked into the rear view mirror to check on her, in unison.

"Are you with us Kens?" wondered the team leader.

"Yeah… I was just… thinking" she didn't even take her eyes away from her gun.

"Hey… we know. It's the same for us" the ex-Seal told her, hoping to reassure her, but he obtained the opposite result.

"How can it be the same, Sam? You weren't there… you didn't see him… you didn't pray because he didn't take that last step… you were not there hoping that your presence might help him to get through this…" her voice cracked as she fought the angry tears that were trying to find their way out. She puffed trying to get control of her emotions, she couldn't allow herself to lose it, not now. It was too important that she would be focused… she owed it to Deeks "I'm… sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that… but I… I never expected to see him like that. That was not Deeks… that was someone else and it hurt me, it hurt me a lot"

"Hey, we know. He's our friend too… and right because he is our friend, we have to keep our minds focused on this task so we'll be able to stop whoever did that to him…" Callen's voice calmed her down, taking her out of the hole of sorrow she was burying herself into.

"Yeah, you're right" she cut it shortly, nodding gravely.

"Ok, that's it… Morris' house" Sam pointed out at a nice house with a porch and a little garden on the front and a wooden fence all around it.

"Do we know whether he lives alone or with someone else?" Kensi wondered, straightening up and leaning towards her friends.

"According to our information…" Callen picked up his phone and ran once again through the files "He's been living alone since he broke up with his wife who got abroad with his daughter seven years ago"

"Then… isn't it a bit strange that there are two cars parked in the driveway?" she indicated two black cars parked right in front of the garage door.

The two senior agents smiled amused, happy to see their friend back with us, focused and ready to jump into action.

"I don't think Morris owns two cars, practically identical…" Callen smirked ironically "So, what do you think about paying him a visit to ask him about this?"

"I thought you would never ask it" Sam hadn't finished talking yet that he was already out of the car followed by his partner and then by Kensi.

They walked cautiously towards the house, holding their guns. When they arrived at the porch, the two senior agents moved on both sides of the door, while Kensi went to check the window, very cautiously. The TV was turned on and a man was lying on the couch with a beer in his hand, she was almost sure it was Braun. She signaled to her teammates what she had seen and then approached them.

"Sam, back door" Callen instructed, whispering not to be heard and soon his partner walked to the back entrance.

They waited until he was in position, then the team leader knocked at the door "Morris, it's Agent Callen. Open the door please"

They heard noises coming from the inside and before they could even make a movement, someone shot at the door from the inside "I hate when they do that, it never ends very well" Kensi joked, jumping a little when splinters flew in the air.

"Sam at count of three... can you copy?" the team leader told his partner.

"Just count G!" the ex-Seal took position, tightening the grip on his gun.

"You ready Kensi?"

The female agent simply nodded, her expression tense but determined.

"So let's do it..." Callen said, taking a deep breath "One... two... three!" he shouted as he kicked the door open. At the same time Sam burst into the house from the back entrance.

Braun started shooting towards them, but his position was not the best for cover so he got up, screaming and continuing pulling the trigger. He fell to the ground with three bullets in his chest.

Sam approached him, taking away his weapon and shaking his head to signal that there was nothing to do for the man. He was standing up when a volley of bullets was shot at him "Hell!" he cried out as pain erupted in his arm.

"Sam!?" Callen asked worried for his partner.

"I'm good, just a graze" the ex-Seal was finding a better place to hide himself while Kensi offered cover-fire.

The blue eyed team leader recognized the man who was threatening them from a favorable position "Morris, put your weapon down!" the only answer he got was other gunshots aimed at him.

"Callen, Sam... I think I can get him. He can't see me from his position" Kensi lowered her voice so their opponent could not hear her.

The two senior agents exchanged a worried look, they both knew she was right, but their concern was not directed to Kensi. They were scared she didn't leave Morris alive... and they needed answer from him and a location to find Schneider.

"Ok, Kensi... but don't kill him. We need him..." Callen told her, almost whispering.

"I'll do my best, but I won't promise you anything" a devilish grin curved her lips "Come on, let's do it... quickly"

The moment the two senior agents started shooting, she got up from her hidden spot and rushed towards Morris' position. The man almost didn't see her coming or at least he did it when it was too late. He tried to shoot her, but Kensi was faster. A bullet hit the Police Officer in the arm and another in the leg.

"Aarrgghh" he cried out in pain "You little bitch!"

She walked closer, kicking his gun away and pointing hers to his forehead "You're just lucky I haven't killed you yet"

"Kensi!" Callen yelled hoping to stop her from doing something she might regret.

"You're just a traitor, you used your position to help Schneider... you had those two cops killed! How can you live with that?" she said with a firm voice, still pressing the gun on the man's forehead.

Morris laughed ironically "They were just trying to ruin my plans... I couldn't allow them to do it. I couldn't lose the opportunity to get some money"

"And Deeks was ruining your plans too?" this time her voice cracked a little, mentioning her partner.

"Ahahah I have to admit the little bastard fooled us, we didn't take him for a cop... he was just another junkie we could use to get what we want..." the little grin on his lips made her angry, very angry.

"Kensi... don't do it" Sam tried to calm her down, seeing her hand trembling dangerously "He's simply provoking you"

"I have to say it was fun though... you should have seen him begging for a shot, he was going to die but the only thing he cared about was another dose"

It was too much for Kensi who pistol whipped Morris with all the strength she could use and then walked away from him. She passed a hand over her face trying to regain some composure and self-control.

Callen jumped into action, he grabbed the cop by his jacket and looked straight at him "You can call yourself lucky that she didn't kill you... now tell me, where's Schneider?"

Morris' body tensed, unable to hide his nervousness "I... I don't know"

"Wrong answer" the team leader pressed on the gunshot wound on the cop's leg, making him scream in pain "Let's try again, where's Schneider?"

Morris shook his head, as he didn't want to tell Callen anything, but unconsciously his eyes moved towards the door of the house with a horrified expression.

The NCIS agents noticed and the moment they looked in the same direction their eyes landed on two figures standing at the doorstep.

"Stop! Federal Agents!" the three agents yelled in unison, at the same time one of the two men, Heggert, un-holstered his gun and opened fire. It was the last thing he did, because a bullet hit him in his forehead.

Schneider seeing that the situation was getting too risky for him, turned on his heels and ran away.

"Sam, stay with Morris!" Callen suggested, he was telling Kensi to follow him but his friend was already pursuing the man "Oh good" he murmured.

The doctor tried to find an escape into a little dark alley, but he stumbled more than once, sensing the presence of the agents behind him. Once in a while he turned back to see where they were, if they were gaining on him, fear was slowing him down. He took a turn and got into a narrow path, finding himself to a dead end though. Horrified he turned around only to be face to face with Kensi's gun.

"Don't move!" she yelled furiously.

"Please, don't kill me..." he begged almost in tears.

This action disturbed the female agent who became even angrier "Don't kill you? And what about the people you killed? The ones you simply used for your dirty traffics?"

"I... please I am unarmed... please don't shoot..."

Kensi was trembling trying to control herself, when Callen arrived next to her.

"Kensi put the gun down, we got him" he told her trying to make her reason, but her eyes scared him. She was overwhelmed by the hate, by the anger.

"And weren't those people unarmed as well? You drugged them and took away their organs only for your own purpose... you made them suffer just to get the money... I bet they begged you as you're doing it now. Why shouldn't I do what you did to them? Why couldn't I kill you?" her voice was full of venomous hatred as she couldn't take away from her mind, the image of her partner on the ledge of the roof, desperate, without anything left...

"But they were just a bunch of hobos! Who cares about them? I gave them the opportunity to do something useful with their life instead of wasting it living the way they lived! Come on... who cares about a filthy skunk who spends his days rummaging through the trash looking for something to eat?"

"Shut up!" she yelled even more furious, she couldn't contain herself anymore and she was on the edge of pulling the trigger. This man didn't have any respect for life, for human beings and once again, Deeks' terrified eyes appeared in front of her "And what about my partner? What about him? You... you know what you made of him? You..."

"Your partner, what the hell are you talking about? I don't know anything about any cop... Morris took care of the cops!"

Kensi moved even closer now, her eyes launched daggers at Schneider's direction "My partner is the man who escaped from you in spite of what you did to him... the man you almost killed... the man you turned into an addict... the man who wanted to kill himself because you took away everything from him" her voice broke this time, unable to contain the river of emotions flooding her heart, clenching it tightly in a knot.

"Kensi, give me the gun" Callen approached her, stopping beside her.

"I... he..." Schneider was not able to say anything coherently, too scared by this crazy woman yelling at him.

"Kensi, he's not worthy" the team leader told his friend.

"I know... but Deeks is" she gave the gun to Callen and when the doctor was ready to release the breath he was holding, she launched herself against him, punching him on the face. When Schneider was on the ground, she kicked him in his stomach first and them, with all the strength she could, in the groin.

The doctor howled in pain, curling into a ball as his whole world was engulfed by the bright stars of agony.

Kensi cast one last disgusted glance at the whining man on the ground, then she turned on her heels and walked away. Callen watched her leaving, inhaling deeply. They got Schneider, but everything happened during this bloody operation had turned his team upside down and he wasn't sure things could go back to how they were. He passed a hand over his tired face and then moved his attention to the moaning doctor, hoping to clear his mind from the bad thoughts. Sadly it didn't work.

* * *

They got the bad guys... but there are still some things to say about this. I hope you'll have the patience to... wait for me and that you won't be disappointed... ;)

Please let me know what you think... as always I appreciate your point of view. Thanks in advance.


	13. Chapter 13

As usual, thanks for the constant support. It means a lot to me. Time for a new chapter.

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 13

It was very late that night when Callen walked through the door of the Mission, almost sure not to find anyone there, but he was wrong. After all these years he should know her better, he should imagine to find Hetty here, sitting at her desk, drinking a cup of tea.

"Mr. Callen, would you like to join me for a cup of tea?" she asked, greeting him with a big smile curving her lips.

"Hetty... for someone who has such a awesome house, you are pretty predictable, spending so much time here" he said, smirking, taking a seat in front of her "And a cup of your tea is always well accepted"

"Oh cheeky" she took the tea-pot and poured the fuming liquid into one of her cups "Is there anything I can do for you Mr. Callen? I don't think you came here just to start filling your report"

Callen chuckled, amused once again by the older woman perceptiveness "Is there anything that you don't know Hetty?"

The Operations manager simply smiled, pushing the man sitting in front of her to open up. She could see that something was troubling him and even all of his years of undercover experience, couldn't hide his true feelings of the moment "How are your teammates?"

"They are..." he passed a hand over his face hoping to wipe away his tiredness, it had been a long and taxing day, for all of them "Sam has been sent home by the doctors even if the gunshot wound was just a graze, nothing serious. Kensi is..."

"I suppose Miss Blye is visiting Mr. Deeks" Hetty nodded, not surprised at all, her voice grave. She didn't need Mr. Callen to tell her this, she have known since the beginning where Miss Blye was, it was expected.

"Yeah, I wanted her to go home and have a good night of sleep, but you know her, she's stubborn like a mule, especially when it comes to Deeks" he explained taking a deep breath.

"Mr. Callen why are you so worried? Do you expect any kind of troubles?"

"Hetty... I haven't realized how much this operation and its consequences affected the team until this night and I worry that something might have changed... forever" he bowed his head, his eyes locked on his hands.

"Would you mind being more specific?" Hetty insisted, she had a feeling of where her team leader was going and she didn't like a single bit of it.

"As it would be easy" he smiled bitterly "I have never seen Kensi like this, not even when we were investigating her father's murder. Back then she was determined, she was angry, but she had always been focused, knowing what she wanted to do and how she could do that... this time, well this time it was different. It's like something broke inside of her and... I think seeing what she witnessed on that roof, seeing Deeks like that, didn't help her at all" he paused, taking a deep breath before going on "Oh hell... it was overwhelming... heartbreaking even for myself. When we… when Sam and I arrived at that roof... gah..." Callen got up frustrated.

"Mr. Callen I can only imagine. Mr. Deeks is your friend and so is Miss Blye, seeing them in a situation like that might affect everyone"

"The fact is that... it's not only that. This damn operation changed everything! Deeks is... I don't even know if he will ever be the man he was and this is destroying Kensi, she feels guilty... she feels responsible..."

"Mr. Callen what are you afraid of?" the Operation Manager went straight to the point.

"I'm afraid that... I'm afraid that this team will never be the same. If Deeks won't recover from this ordeal, Kensi will be lost as well... and this team will not be the same without them. And I don't want to lose them... I am the one who is responsible for them, I am the leader of this team... and I should have done something more to find Deeks when he was missing, maybe if I..."

"Stop it now! Mr. Callen, you are right, you're the leader of this team and I am the one who's in charge. I agreed on put Mr. Deeks in that position... I should feel guilty as well" she paused looking at the man in front of her, with knowing eyes "The fact is that I could have done a lot of things, but I would have never been able to stop him... in spite of the desire of justice for his friend's death, Mr. Deeks did that because he knew it was right, because he knew that this was his job... catching the bad guys and make a difference. Look, I know what you're going through, I know that even if you don't want to admit it, the team is your family, but you're an agent, Mr. Callen. You know that what we do is risky, but if we didn't do it so well, a lot of people would get hurt. This operation brought a criminal organization behind the bars of a jail, we saved a lot of lives"

"And what about Deeks' life? What about Kensi's?" he asked coldly, venting his anger a bit too harshly.

"You know Mr. Callen, you should have much trust in the human nature, in the power of love... love under all of his forms" she gave him a cunning grin while sipping her tea "This blend is special, very special. It comes from Ancient China and it was served as a wedding gift, to celebrate the union of a man and a woman who had to fight against the dragons to find themselves and their love"

Callen narrowed her eyes, not getting exactly what Hetty was telling him "Hetty... I..."

"Mr. Callen, give your younger teammates a bit of credit. They are fighting against their personal dragons at the moment, but they are both strong, stronger than you can imagine... and who knows? Maybe one day we'll celebrate their victory..."

"Do you know something I don't know?" he wondered puzzled, lost by his boss' speech.

"Have you ever wondered why I decided to team up Mr. Deeks with Miss Blye? You told me once that you thought that I offered Mr. Deeks the position of a liaison officer but that my goal was to make a good agent out of him... are you sure that this was what I truly wanted?"

Flashes of the past three years danced in front of his eyes, from the day they met Deeks at the MMA gym to the last few months and he realized something he never noticed before "You knew they were good to each other... you knew that Deeks was exactly what Kensi needed to become even stronger, to grow as a woman so she could become an even better agent... she needed someone who could go through her shield... and you knew that Kensi was what Deeks needed as well" he paused smiling and shaking his head in disbelief, at his stupidity not to see it before. It had been a simply plan, elementary, but it worked.

"I don't know what you are talking about Mr. Callen, I simply needed a liaison officer to coordinate our operations with LAPD, Mr. Deeks was simply the right man at the right place at the right moment" she took the cup at her lips and took another sip, smirking.

"I wish I could have your... faith, Hetty" Callen sat back in the chair, staring intently at the Operations Manager.

"The path will be long and tortuous, but I'm sure they will make it... that we all make it, because we'll be there to help them whenever they need us" she put the tea down and opened a folder "Now, Mr. Callen, I thought you came here to write your report. Maybe it's time to do it. Good night, Mr. Callen"

The blue eyed man stood up, feeling like someone had removed the heavy weight burdening him; he smiled, nodding gratefully "Good night Hetty" he turned on his heels and walked towards the bullpen.

Hetty leaned against the back of her seat, sighing heavily "And good luck to you, Mr. Callen. We all need a bit of it"

* * *

The car was driving along the avenue, leaves were on the ground and the thick, high trees, almost obscured the sight of the sky. The sun filtered through them once in a while, giving a magical appearance to the whole picture.

Kensi slowed down her car and studied intently the man sitting in the passenger seat, leaning his head against the window, his expression lost somewhere, far away from here.

It had been a week since she had stopped Deeks on the roof, a week after the entire case had been wrapped up, and her partner had been released from the hospital. With the help of Dr. Lambert and with Hetty's intervention, they had found a trustworthy rehab center located in an amazing spot in the valley. It was an old ranch turned into a peaceful place in which people with every kind of addiction would find a way to solve their issues without too much stress.

They had done a long research to find the right place for their friend and when their eyes stopped on The Monsoon, they knew immediately it was exactly what he needed. And here they were.

"Hey… we're almost there. You good?" Kensi asked her friend, but the only answer she got from him was the silence.

She stopped the car on the wayside and, putting a hand over his shoulder, she stared straight at him. His beard was gone and he looked even younger without it, but he looked so thin also. And fragile, like he was going into pieces anytime soon.

Deeks jerked at the light touch, startled.

"Hey… it's ok. Everything is fine" she reassured him kindly, talking to him with a gentle voice.

"Sorry, I… I was…" he muttered in confusion.

"How are you feeling?" she knew the question was a bit rhetorical, she was aware that he was far from ok, that he was barely holding himself, but she needed to hear his voice, to hear him talking to her. She missed him so much…

Deeks looked at her with his deep blue eyes that still missed their usual spark "I… I'm scared Kensi" his hands were trembling as he spoke, shaking uncontrollably.

She took them in hers, locking her glance on his, giving him a kind smile "I know you are, but we have already talked about this, it's for the best"

He shook his head, tightening his grip on her hands "It's not that Kensi… I'm scared because… what if… what if I will never be what I was? I hate what I am now, just look at me… I can't stop shaking, I can't eat… I can't sleep. I have this gnawing feeling into my stomach…" he paused fighting the tears forming in his eyes "I don't want to be like this… not anymore. I… I don't know…"

Kensi silenced him, putting a finger on his lips "Don't, please. Don't go there. You will make it, soon you'll be back to your annoying self" she smiled, softly, and for the first time he returned the gesture, but it was one of the saddest smile she had ever seen.

"Why, Kensi?" he wondered with a begging note in his childish voice.

"Why what, Deeks?"

"Why are you still sticking around me? Why are you so good to me? Why…" he couldn't go on, overwhelmed by his emotions.

"After all these years I thought you knew me better" she smirked cunningly, cupping his face "Deeks, you're my best friend, you're worth all the efforts… I… at this point, my life won't be the same without you around…"

Her words touched him, deeply "Do you truly mean it? Do you truly mean the words you told me on that roof?" seeing her puzzled expression, he continued "You said that I… that I was important to you. Did you mean it or it was just a way to… stop me?"

Kensi bowed her head remembering that moment, the panic she had felt that day made her shivering now "That day I would have done everything to stop you from doing that… from killing yourself" she saw how her words affected him, as it was the first time he realized exactly what he was going to do that day, but she went on talking. He needed to know "But I meant every word I said, because you are important to me… maybe you haven't realized, but probably right now, you're everything I care the most" she was surprised by what she was saying, by her open admission of her feelings "Deeks, I… you scared the hell out of me that day, literally. I…"

Tears wet his eyes and he bit his lips nervously "I… Kensi I…"

"You don't have to say anything, ok? You have only to go in there and find your way home…" she told him, barely keeping the river of emotions flooding her heart "Just promise me you'll do everything you can to come back"

Deeks nodded, closing his eyes, trying to keep himself together "Will… will you wait for me?"

"Of course I do and I will always be with you, even if you won't see me" she smiled at her own words that channeled what he told her once "Never forget this…"

He remained silent, looking at his shaking hands for a while, then he asked "Can I… can I have a goodbye hug?"

Kensi smiled, fully, at his comment, she didn't know why, but those few words were the closest thing to the old Deeks she had got in months "Of course you can" and without waiting anymore, she engulfed him in a tight embrace.

Once he was in her arms, he burst out crying, his whole body shaken by shivers.

"It's ok… it's going to be fine…" she repeated, one of her hand made small circle on his back while the other gently ran through his hair "It's ok… you'll be ok"

They remained in that position for what it looked like an eternity, none of them ready to let the other go; it was Kensi who spoke first "It's time to go now" she said breaking the embrace, but doing that her lips grazed his, sending pleasuring shivers down her spine "Deeks" she murmured, her mouth dangerously close to his; she could feel his breath, the heat emanating from his body… she could feel his heart beating madly, the carbon copy of her own.

"Kensi…" he whispered, his lips now were not only brushing her, but they were actually touching hers, he was breathing her own breath.

Before he could add anything else or do something, Kensi guided him even closer and kissed him. At first he was startled, surprised by her action, but then he let go all of his restraints and kissed her back. It was the most beautiful and intense kiss he could remember, his whole body reacted to it and for the first time in ages, he felt alive. When he felt like he was out of breath, he broke the contact with her, his eyes locked on hers, losing himself into those mismatched eyes "What has just happened?" he asked with trembling voice, unsure of his own self.

"I kissed you… what did it look like to you?" she studied his features intently, seeing the struggling in his eyes "Something I should have done ages ago…" she admitted candidly.

Deeks leaned his forehead to hers, closing his eyes "Kensi, I…"

"What Deeks?" she couldn't help herself but worry… maybe this was not something he wanted, maybe she had misread his behavior towards her… or maybe…"Oh heck, I'm sorry Deeks, I'm really sorry. I… I didn't mean to make things harder for you, I… I only wanted to show you how important you are to me, how worthy you are… I'm sorry…"

He shook his head, his eyes still closed "No, please don't be sorry… I… I have wanted to kiss you for so long, but… I have always thought that if it happened, it would be something special, something we could enjoy fully, both of us. Now I am…" he started trembling again, but he stopped her attempt to touch him "I don't even know who I am…" tears rolled down his cheeks and he didn't do anything to stop them from falling.

"You're Marty Deeks, the most cheeky, annoying, unbearable partner a woman can have… the most caring, loyal, sensitive man I have ever met… my partner, my best friend… the man I can't live without…" she simply told him, caressing him, wiping away the tears from his face.

"I'm not that man anymore Kensi…" he wriggled away from her, looking blankly out of the window.

Gently, she turned him so they could face each other "That man is still here" she put a hand on his heart, sensing it beating wildly in his chest, almost ready to explode "And don't worry, I'll wait for you… I'll wait until you'll be ready, until you'll feel enough yourself to make that moment very special…"

Overwhelmed by everything happening to him, Deeks couldn't control himself anymore and this time, he engulfed her in the tightest embrace he could manage to give her, hoping to show her how much she meant to him, how much her words had moved him "Thank you" he whispered softly "Thank you so much"

An electrical discharge course through her whole body when she felt his arm around her; he was shaking like a leaf, almost crying, but he was everything she wanted and she was ready to wait for him even for the rest of her life, because he was worth the waiting, he was simply worthy, plain and simple "You don't have to thank me at all…"

When they broke apart a little smile curved Deeks' lips, it was the first real and sincere smile in such a long time… and it felt good.

Kensi saw that and her heart almost melted, she had missed that smile, she had missed the way his eyes brightened up every time he did that. There was hope… finally she was sure of that "Are you ready to go now?" she took his hand in hers, squeezing it so he could sense her presence, her support.

"No… but it's something I have to do, isn't it?" he bit his lip nervously.

"Yeah…" she let him go and started the engine, driving the car towards the entrance of the rehab center. Once they got there, Kensi parked the car and got out of it, retrieving Deeks' bag, noticing he was still sitting inside the vehicle "Hey, what's up?"

"I… I wanted to tell you something, but… I'm afraid you can get mad…" his voice sounded so childish, so innocent that almost broke her heart.

"Hey, you know you can tell me everything" she bent on her knees so she could look at him in his eyes.

"Kensi, I… this is not going to be easy" with a little movement of his head he indicated the center, his trembling hand moved to his mouth, shaking so badly that he almost couldn't control it. When he saw her nodding, he found the courage to go on talking "I… I don't want you to see me… to see me like… I don't want you to go through that"

"Deeks, I…"

"No, wait… please Kensi, let me finish" he practically begged her "I… Do you mind… oh heck…" his trembling became even more evident, beads of cold sweat adorned his forehead.

"Deeks, calm down… it's ok" she opened the door of the car and guided him out "I'm not going to be upset, whatever you want to tell me… ok?" she cupped his face so their eyes could stare directly at each other.

He bowed his head, ashamed of what he was going to ask her "Kensi, I would like that you… that you won't visit me… for a while"

Kensi was almost shocked by his request "But I thought that we… that I…"

Deeks took her hand "It's not about we… or about you. It's about me. I'm going to be a mess in the next period and I can't stand that you might see me like that. You…" he squeezed her hand as his eyes were veiled by the tears "…you have already seen too much and I… I don't want you to do it again. It's not… it's not right" he tried in every way to control himself, to keep his emotions at bay, but it was too much. It was simply too much for him.

Kensi was speechless and her admiration for this man grew even more. Even in this situation, where he should only focus on himself, he was trying to protect her "Oh Deeks…" she felt her own tears forming in her eyes.

"Please, I… I hope you understand…" he repeated, turning his face around, unable to look at her any longer "Please… please…"

"Hey, look at me" this time she tried to use a firmer tone of her voice "It's ok. I understand…" and she did, for real. She knew he was protecting her but even himself… he was ashamed of what Schneider and his men had turned him into, but he still had a bit of pride to want to face all of this alone, away from pitiful eyes "Remember what I told you just few minutes ago? I told you that I will wait for you… and this exactly what I am going to do. I'll wait until you'll be ready…" she gave him a big smile, sweet and kind "Can you at least… give me a phone call when they will allow you to make one?"

His whole features relaxed and his eyes sparkled with gratitude "Thank you… just thank you"

Kensi took him once again by his hand "Ok, ready to do that?"

Deeks looked at her, fear could be read in his blue eyes "No, but… I have something worth to come back to now… and I don't have any intention to let her wait too long"

Her eyes watered and she couldn't be prouder of him than she was right now. Slowly, hand in hand, they walked inside.

* * *

And so they kinda crossed the line...

This time I'd truly like to know what you think, since I'm not used to write anything that resemble _romance_ and I don't have the slightest idea of how this had turned out... I simply hope I kept them in character (considering the moment they were both going through at this point of the story).

So please, let me know! Thanks in advance.


	14. Chapter 14

Time for a new chapter, I hope you're still enjoying this...

Usual thanks to everyone read, alerted and review this story!

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 14

A month had gone, a month since Deeks had been admitted into the rehab center. Kensi had told her teammates about his desire that no one would visit him and they all had accepted his request, reluctantly, but they all did it. Everyone, though, suspected that Hetty was in contact with the people in charge of the center, but no one asked her anything. They thought that doing that, they were invading their friend's privacy.

That morning Callen arrived at the Mission a little bit late than usual since he had to take his car for a check-up and when he stepped through the door, he was surprised to find the bullpen completely deserted. He left his bag on his desk and his eyes landed on the empty desk in front of him. It had been three months since Deeks hadn put a foot in this place and the team leader couldn't deny the fact that he missed the shaggy haired detective. The whole place was not the same anymore, it was like someone had turned off the light…

Callen took a deep breath, not wanting to think of what his friend was going through in this moment, then he passed a hand over his face "Gah… I need some workout" he told himself heading to the gym.

He was not completely surprised when he found his partner there, beating the crap out of the punching bag "Hey, I was starting to wonder where all of you have been…"

Sam was too concentrated and didn't answer at all.

"Sam… Sam…" Callen called his friend and seeing that he didn't have any intention to answer him at all, he placed himself right behind the punching bag, stopping it "Sam!"

"Not the right moment, G… let me finish here" the ex-Seal told him, continuing in his job, one punch after another.

"Ok, this is a bit creepy…" the blue eyed man stated a bit disappointed "Where's Kensi?"

Sam slowed down for a moment, but when he started again, he did it with more vehemence.

"Ok, this is more than creepy… now you stop and you tell me what the hell is wrong with you!" Callen raised his voice, starting to be a bit upset because of his partner's behavior.

"Kensi's not here" the ex-Seal finally stopped hitting the bag.

"Ok, she's not here… I don't get it why this is affecting you so much, unless…" the team leader paused now, feeling his heart skipping a bit "…unless it's about Deeks" he finished with a feeble voice.

"Very perceptive, Mr. Callen" Hetty said appearing from behind him.

"What happened?" Callen turned to face her, a hint of worry veiled his blue eyes.

"Hetty, I heard you wanted to see us" Nell arrived at the gym from the stairs with Eric at her heels.

"Ok, this is getting even more than creepy… do you mind telling me what's happening here?" the team leader insisted, almost losing his patience.

"Kensi received a call from Deeks this morning… I know that she asked him to do it, just once in a while…" Sam removed the gloves he was wearing and picked up a towel with which he wiped away the sweat from his face "She was so happy when she picked up the call, but then… her mood changed. I've never seen her like that G… she was… I don't know, she was trying to hold herself together but I could see that it was not working. I don't think she received good news or that she liked what he told her…"

"Actually, if I may intervene, it was not what Mr. Deeks told her, but mostly the way he told her that and what he didn't tell her at all" the Operations Manager explained gravely.

"Hetty, why do I have the feeling that you know more than you're telling us?" it was Nell who asked the question everyone wanted to ask.

The older woman sighed heavily, clearly not liking what she was going to say "I am in very close contact with the doctor responsible of Mr. Deeks at the rehab center, we talked almost every day in the last month and sadly, what she told me wasn't very encouraging"

"Hetty, how's Deeks doing?" Callen went straight to the point.

"Not very well. According to Dr. Williamson, the mix of drugs Schneider gave Mr. Deeks was extremely addicting and it still causing him a lot of discomfort, to say at least" her eyes moved from one member of her team to another realizing that they were all looking at her expectantly, waiting for her to go on "He is not doing very well, well the doctor's exact words were he looks like shit!"

"Damn it!" Callen was the first to react, even if a little bit out of character, voicing loudly his feelings.

"I second your sentiment Mr. Callen. I suppose that during the little conversation Mr. Deeks had with Miss Blye, he was not able to hide his real conditions and she felt a bit... frustrated to say the least" continued Hetty.

"What can we do Hetty? Aren't we supposed to look for Kensi and help her through this moment?" Nell wondered, concerned for her friend. She could only imagine what Kensi was going through, she tried to put herself into the female agent's shoes, but every scenario that came up to her, was extremely painful.

"Well, I suggested Miss Blye to take some fresh air and... I alerted someone that might give her the support she needs in this moment" the Operations Manager nodded gravely, but a little smile curved her lips.

"Hetty, are you sure this is the right solution? Maybe we can find her and talk to her..." Sam suggested, moving his dark eyes towards Eric "Maybe Eric could make a search, to see where she is right now, tracing her GPS..."

"Yes, the GPS in her car and in her phone are probably active" the tech stated, starting to work on his omnipresent pad.

"Mr. Hanna, for how much I think Miss Blye would appreciate your presence, in this moment, she needs something else..." Hetty spoke with a tone that didn't leave any chance for a reply "Now, I think that you all have work to do... I still need some reports on my desk for the end of the day" and with that, she left the gym.

Sam sighed heavily, passing the towel over his face "This is not good. You should have seen her, G. It looked like she was going into pieces... I've never seen her so out of control"

"And would you be in control if you were at her place? You know those two, you know how close they are..." Callen said, voicing his thoughts.

"Who do you think Hetty contacted? It must be someone she trusts, because it's Kensi we're talking about... and Hetty... and..." muttered Eric confusedly.

The blue eyed team leader narrowed his eyes, then added "Eric, trace Kensi's GPS"

"But Callen, Hetty said not to do it... you know how she gets when we do something behind her back..." the tech protested a bit concerned of being caught by the Operations Manager.

"And you do it without leaving any trace" the ex-Seal finished, stealing the line from his partner.

"But... what if..." Eric was still talking when Nell grabbed him by his shirt and dragged him away.

"It's ok guys, we'll let you know when we'll find her..." the petite analyst reassured them with a smile "Come on Eric, we have nothing to worry about"

The two techs disappeared from the agents' sight, headed to Ops.

Callen exchanged a look with his partner "What do you think about it?"

Sam remained silent for a moment, then replied, gravely, with a very serious tone "I... I just hope Deeks will get better soon"

The team leader couldn't do anything else other than agreeing with his friend. Taking a deep breath, he passed a hand over his head "Come on, go get a shower. We have reports to fill..."

"Do we have to?"

"Sam, you heard Hetty..." Callen simply said "And we have to put up a show in front of her while waiting for Eric and Nell to find Kensi" he grinned cunningly.

Sam gave him a full dimpled smile "Yeah, you're right. Just give me twenty minutes" he moved to pick up his sweatshirt and headed to the restroom while his partner walked away directed to the bullpen.

Away for curious eyes, hidden from everyone's sight, Hetty observed the whole scene. And smiled, before leaving herself, walking towards her office, pleased to see how close her team had become.

* * *

She didn't know how she got here, but she felt this was the only place where she wanted to be right now.

Kensi watched Monty playing with a little ball as his movements raised the sand in the air. The sound of the waves crashing on the beach reached her ears and she could almost feel her partner's presence beside her.

This was his favorite spot, the one he took her to teach her to surf, the one she went to when she couldn't find him anywhere. She knew he would come here eventually and this time it was no different. She felt like coming here, she could be closer to him... too bad he was not here. Too bad he was miles away, in the valley, fighting his demons.

After receiving Deeks' call this morning, Kensi had left the Mission, crashed at home just to pick up Monty and then she came here... hoping that this place, and the memories linked to this place, could make things easier for her.

She had been shocked to hear the desperation in his voice, his disappointment to be so far from ok, the pain coming from every word he told her and for a moment, she felt desperate as well... lost in his own pain.

She missed him so much that it hurt. Kensi had promised him that she would have waited for him, but every day away from him was like a torture. At least she had been hopeful that he was doing better, but when she had heard his voice almost broken by the tears, well... that had been too much, even for her, for badass Blye.

Monty stopped abruptly playing with the ball and moved closer to her, sensing her discomfort, licking her hand, headbutting her to let her feel his presence.

"You're missing him too, aren't you?" she scratched the dog behind his ears, knowing it was something Monty loved, aware that it was one of Deeks' favorite gesture towards his faithful companion.

Monty whined as he had truly understood what she was telling him, looking at her with his big sweet eyes.

"Yeah, I know..." a little tear escaped from her eyes, rolling down her cheek.

Kensi stared at the ocean lost in her thoughts when someone approached her from behind.

"It's beautiful here" a deep voice greeted her. A deep gentle voice that she recognized immediately.

She lifted her head to find herself face to face with the big frame of Jason Goodwin. She was speechless though, he looked completely different, the filthy clothes were gone and now he was wearing a pair of kaky cargo pants with a white shirt, he had shaved his beard and cut his hair short... he was another person "Jason?" she wondered puzzled.

"Yeah, it's me" he made a simple gesture with her head, silently asking if he could sit down. When Kensi nodded and he took a sit next to her "This place is... beautiful"

"It is" she replied with a melancholy tone "How... how did you find me? I..."

"I must admit that your Miss Lange can be very persuasive" he smiled, a big sweet smile that brightened his whole expression. He remained silent for few minutes then he added "I haven't been at the beach in... ages. I have almost forgotten how peaceful it can be..."

"Jason, I don't want to look like I'm rude, but... what are you doing here?" Kensi wondered still a bit confused by the sudden appearance.

He smiled again before going on talking "As I said, your Miss Lange called me, telling me if I could keep an eye on you. She was worried about you... she said something about Frankie Boy… sorry about Marty, not being very well..."

Her expression saddened a bit "Sometimes I wonder how she does that" she took a deep breath looking at another wave that almost reached her bare feet.

Jason rummaged through his pockets and took out a little object that he put in her hand "I... when I was released from the hospital I went to the place Marty and I shared, the place where... where those men took us..." he paused, inhaling deeply at the memory "...and I found this. He was so happy when your friend Callen gave it to him"

Kensi stared at the little object, the key-chain with the little Ninja Turtle on the surfboard she had bought for Deeks and her heart melted.

"He was so happy that night, but at the same time so sad..." Jason closed his eyes, taking a deep breath allowing the salty air to pervade his nostrils, man he didn't even remember the feeling of it "...it was that night that he talked about you. He told me you were his best friend, but I could easily guess that there was much more behind his words" he gently touched her chin, turning her head and staring straight into her eyes "He missed you... he didn't say that plainly, but his eyes spoke for him. And I can imagine that you miss him too now"

She chuckled bitterly "What a couple of undercover agents we are..." she held the little ninja turtle tightly, as she could feel Deeks' presence through it "So obvious..."

"You care about him, don't you?" the big man asked, rhetorically. He already knew the answer, but he wanted her to admit it.

There was a moment of awkward silence before Kensi could answer "More than you can imagine... or more than I have ever imagined to care" she grinned cunningly, like she was remembering something very funny "You should have seen us the first times we worked together. I... couldn't put a finger on him, he was so annoying, well technically he is still annoying, but slowly he... he became very important to me, Deeks was always there at my side, taking everything I threw at him... caring for me... being there when I needed it, even without me asking him to do it. This is the way he is... so damn amazing" her voice cracked a little.

"You fell for him..."

Kensi nodded, surprised to show her deeper emotions to this man who was almost a complete stranger to her, but she felt safe with him "Yeah... when I... when I took him to the rehab center we... we kissed, but even if this was something he wanted too, he said he needed time... because it was going to be a tough period for him. I told him that I would have waited for him, but when he called me today he was so... I heard a hint of resignation in his voice, like he was giving up... and I know it's not fair to him, but I felt betrayed... because he is not supposed to give up... not now..."

Jason put one of his big arm around her shoulder, feeling her trembling under his touch "Kensi, I'm sure he's not giving up... maybe I don't know him as much as you do, but I saw the way he fought when we were... when we... were in the hands of those men. I saw how he wanted to get out of that place even if he was so weak. He never gave up back then and I'm sure he won't give up now... and he has a big incentive to come back, someone to come back to. Of course the rehab process is not an easy ride... just trust him"

"But I trust him... and I will never stop doing that! Maybe I simply not trust myself. I made him a promise... and I respect him too much to break it, but... I can't stay here, knowing that he's there and that he might need my support, that he might need a familiar face, that he might need my voice... at least as much as I need to hear his..." she told Jason almost without breathing.

"I know how you're feeling, because believe me or not, I miss him too. Ok, maybe I miss Frankie Boy, but from all the things you all told me about him, I'm sure I'll love Marty Deeks even more and, believe me, I can't even start to tell you how much I admired what he did, the way he did... not everyone would have done that. And..." it was the big man's voice turn to break this time "... and he saved my life, putting his own at risk. I will never forget it, never. He showed me that there are still good people around here, people like you all, or like Milly or... like Marty. People that told me that life is still worth living. Doing what he did, he gave me another chance in this life and... you know, I'm going to take it, trying to do something good..."

Kensi's heart was filled with pride and even more love hearing what Jason was saying "You know, Deeks needs more people like you around too... and I'm very glad he had you during the days he lived on the streets"

"I am the one who's glad... and lucky..."

"Damn, I've been an idiot" she said out loud, venting her frustration "And selfish... Deeks is the one who's going through too much and I am the one here moaning and whining... he doesn't deserve this. He deserves me to be strong, for him too..." she held the little ninja turtle even tighter "...and next time I'll hear from him, I'll show him that. I will show him that he has a lot of things to come back to... I won't be the selfish idiot I was this morning"

"That's the spirit" Jason nodded, holding her tightly.

Monty felt the change in Kensi's mood, in her posture and started moving his tail as he was happy too "Yes, Monty... he will come back to us... soon he will come back. I'm sure of it..." then lifting her head to look at the big man still embracing her, she added "Do you mind holding me for a little while?"

"It's my pleasure..." Jason said, calmly "You know, Marty is a very lucky man to have you in his life... I can see why he likes you so much"

She blushed as she snuggled in his arms "Thank you Jason... thank you very much"

"You're welcome Kiddo... it was just my pleasure" he simply told her, smiling gently.

* * *

Away from indiscreet eyes, two men in a black car watched the entire scene, nodding satisfied

"As always Hetty knows what to do so well..." Sam said exchanging a knowing glance with his partner.

"Did you have any doubts? That woman always knows what all of us need" echoed Callen.

"So do you think we can go back to work now?" the ex-Seal cast another look at the beach and at the two figures sitting by the sea.

"Yeah, she's in good hands... let's go back to work, but first I need something to eat. I think you owe me breakfast" the blue eyed man smirked cunningly.

"And where did you read that? I thought last time I offered you the lunch..."

"Sam, that was just an excuse of a lunch! I want a real lunch, something real to eat... not just some healthy salad with some soy stuff inside!" Callen protested vehemently.

"Ok, good... if you want to kill yourself, I'm ok... I'll pay you for whatever you want to eat, but when you'll be dead don't come back looking for revenge. I warned you!" the ex- seal raised his hands in sign of surrender.

"Oh don't worry... I won't pull your feet while you'll be sleeping in bed!" Callen laughed out loud, then became serious "Come on... I can have a salad..."

"Really? Are you kidding me?" Sam narrowed his eyes, not convinced.

"Oh yes... with a double burger!"

"G, you're incorrigible..." the ex-Seal stated, turning the engine on.

"I thought you were going to say, irresistible..." Callen grinned pleased.

"Oh yes... absolutely irresistible" Sam drove his car away, leaving the beach behind them, relieved that their friend was in good hands, silently thanking Hetty for being so wise. As always.

* * *

As always I would like to hear what you think about this.

Thanks in advance!


	15. Chapter 15

And here we are, time for a new chapter. I wish you can enjoy it...

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 15

Life was strange, Kensi could say that. A phone call had sent her to the edge of a precipice, ready to go into pieces and only Jason Goodwin's and her friends' intervention, had saved her. Now, almost a month later, a phone call had sent her to the Moon… yes, because Deeks had called her, telling her that he was going to be released from the rehab center… that he was going home.

The words resounded in her ears, Deeks was coming back… he was coming back to her and she couldn't contain her excitement. She was like a child on Christmas' Eve, waiting for the next morning to come.

She was beyond happy even if, deep inside of her, there was a little hint of concern, of fear. What if these past two months had changed the way he saw her? What if he didn't want to have anything to do with her? She couldn't blame him if he was that changed. Her partner had gone through a lot, maybe too much, and these were the kind of things that might change a man…

She took a deep breath when she stopped her car in front of the center and got out of it, staring worriedly at the stairs that led inside "Come on Kensi… be brave. This is the moment you show how tough you are… the moment you show how brave you are. Get inside and face him… it's Deeks!" she told herself with such a great amount of uncertainty. She didn't even realize she was shaking like a leaf. Inhaling deeply, she decided to take her fear by the horn and walked inside.

Once she put a foot in the hall, she was assaulted by the same peaceful sensation she had felt the first time she had been here. There was a fountain in the corner with a little waterfall ending its course into it, flower bowls surrounded it, giving the idea of being in a wood or in a forest… she almost could hear the birds chirping, but probably it was only her imagination.

Kensi's eyes scanned the big room, looking for the familiar figure of her partner, but she couldn't find him anywhere. She was not able to hide a little hint of disappointment, so sighing heavily, she directed to the reception.

"Hello" she greeted the young woman with red hair behind the desk "I hope you can help me, my name is Kensi Blye and I'm here to pick up my partner, Marty Deeks, he was supposed to be released today… I thought I could find him here, but I can't see him anywhere around"

The redheaded woman smiled gently, tapping on her keyboard "Let me check" she continued her research in her computer then, lifted her head "Miss Blye, Mr. Deeks signed his discharging papers half an hour ago… maybe he has already left. Are you sure you were supposed to pick him up? Maybe he called a taxi…"

Kensi felt a pang in her heart, she couldn't believe it. He was gone… already and he didn't wait for her. He left without her… She tried to keep herself together, not to show her disappointment, not to show how hurt she was, but deep inside of her, there was a turmoil, a mix of opposite emotions "Thank you" she smiled forcefully "Maybe you're right… I think that maybe there was a misunderstanding"

Without waiting for any reply from the young woman, Kensi rushed out of the building, wandering aimlessly in the garden outside. She was aware that she couldn't drive in this emotional state, that she needed to calm down before taking her car and going back to the city. She hated herself for being so stupid, so naive to believe that Deeks was different from the other men, that he… tears formed in her eyes at the thought. Deeks was different, he was not like the other men… so why did he leave all alone? What didn't he wait for her? A river of scary thoughts started forming in her mind, none of them had a happy ending. Maybe Deeks was not cured as everyone thought, maybe he was somewhere out here, alone and confused… maybe he needed her… The worst case scenarios danced in front of her eyes… what if… what if he was somewhere, maybe hurt or… "Where are you Deeks?" she whispered when she stopped at a natural balcony that faced the entire valley. The scenery was simply breathtaking and even in her concerned state, she had to admire it… it was simply beautiful.

"It's amazing, isn't it?" a voice told her, a familiar voice she had missed so much "I spent a lot of time here in the last two months, but it still amazes me"

"Deeks!" she cried out turning around to look at him. He was standing right in front of her wearing a pair of jeans and a simple blue t-shirt, his hair was ruffled by the wind and his eyes were shining, kissed by the sun. He looked… different. He was still thinner than usual, but it was him… it was the Deeks she had almost forgotten, the Deeks she had wanted back so badly… but man, she was mad, furious at him "You stupid idiot! Where the hell have you been? I was wondering if something might have happened to you… I was…" she yelled stepping closer "I thought you were hurt, that you were…"

Deeks' lips curved into a smile "I… take that you missed me…" he said, allowing her to get even closer.

"Missed you? Only in your dreams! Oh heck Deeks, I don't kill you only because there are other people waiting for you, you stupid pighead!" she punched him in his shoulder, then on his chest, lighter this time "Do you have an idea of what…" she couldn't finish her sentence, because he leaned forward and put his lips over hers… and he kissed her, cupping her face.

At first Kensi was startled, surprised by his action, but then, feeling her whole body reacting to his presence so close to her, she let go all of her restraints and kissed him back, running her hand through his hair.

It was like the world had stopped around them, that they were the only human beings on the face of the Earth… Nothing existed other than the two of them… Kensi and Deeks, Deeks and Kensi.

Kensi couldn't believe this was really happening, she had waited for so long. Her heart was beating madly, almost exploding in her chest, but she didn't want to let him go, afraid that this was just another dream like the ones that had filled her nights in the last two months, since that day in which they had shared their first kiss.

When they were completely out of breath, they broke apart. Deeks' hands moved down, encircling her waist, his deep blue eyes locked on hers "I knew that you missed me" he spoke with that mellow tone in his voice that could melt her heart in a blink of an eye "I… I missed you for sure…"

Kensi stared at him, intently, her own arms around his waist too "Your stubble is back…" she said childish, knowing it was a stupid thing to say, but her mind was not able to form a coherent thought. She leaned against his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

First he laughed at her comment, then when she felt her sobbing in his arms, Deeks kissed the top of her head, feeling his own tears rolling down his face.

They didn't know how long they stood like that, silently, unable to say anything, simply enjoying each other closeness. It was Kensi who talked first, lifting her head and staring at him.

"Is it truly happening? I'm not dreaming, am I?" her voice cracked a little.

Tenderly, he put a lock of her hair behind her ear, gently caressing her face, unable to take his eyes away from her, afraid that she could disappear as it had happened in his nights haunted by the nightmares "Thank you" he simply told her, ignoring completely her question and planting another kiss on her lips.

Confused, she retreated for a moment from his mouth "Thank you for what? I… I don't understand…"

His expression softened even more, but his eyes couldn't hide a hint of sadness "For waiting for me, for keeping your word and letting me deal with all of this all alone, for… being here now, with me, in spite of everything…" he paused fighting the tears that, once again, were trying to find their way out "For being everything I was looking for… for… for being you…"

She stood on her toes and simply planted another kiss on his lips "Stop it, please. I told you that I would have waited for you, that you are worth the waiting… and so I did. And here I am..."

His eyes watered and for a moment he had to look away from her, overwhelmed by his emotions.

Kensi laid a hand on his face, caressing him "Everything is going to be fine… the worst is over. You're here, with me… and I don't have any intention to let you go anywhere…" she studied him, like she was checking every single centimeter of his body, like she still couldn't believe he was right here, in front of her… holding her in his arms "I… I missed you so much…"

His whole expression brightened up when a smile appeared on his lips "I knew that… you can't resist my charming personality"

In that moment, it was like the world exploded for Kensi… he was truly back, it was not a dream. This was her partner, her friend… the man she loved. This time she felt the tears forming in her eyes and she let them fall freely, uncaring of showing herself to him "Oh well, you're not charming, you're just cheeky…" she grinned playfully while still crying.

Deeks couldn't hide a smirk, feeling whole for the first time in a long time… his heart was pounding in his chest and he was trembling almost uncontrollably, but he was happy, after months on the edge of being lost forever, today he was happy. He was aware that there was still a lot of work to do, that he was not completely out of the tunnel, but he felt stronger, because he knew he was not going to be alone facing all of it. He had the most amazing woman at his side and he was not going to ruin what he had just hardly get… she didn't deserve it.

"I… I am hungry…" he told her, burst out laughing.

Kensi thought that his laugh was the most beautiful sound she had heard in a long time "I'm starving" she echoed.

"I don't find it hard to believe" he stated, trying to stay serious, failing miserably. As a reply Kensi tickled him, making him jump on his feet "Hey… this is not fair…" he gave her one of his trademark cheeky grin then guided her into a big embrace.

Kensi lost herself in his arms, finally feeling like she could start living again… now it was really time to start a new chapter in their life, there was an entire book to write and she wanted to fill it only with happy moments. The sadness, the pain, the hurt were only for the past. She buried her face in his chest and let his heartbeat cuddling her.

* * *

He couldn't hide a bit of nervousness. After two months he was going to see the rest of his teammates, he was going back to the Mission after what it seemed a lifetime, after all of this had started... A lot of things had changed, he was not even sure to be the same man he was before.

Deeks felt Kensi's eyes on him as they were driving from the rehab center to their office, sensing her scrutinizing glance on him.

"Hey, there's nothing to be afraid of... it's just Nell, Eric, Sam, Callen, Hetty and the two of us, we're your friends" she took his hand in her, squeezing it "And I'm here with you..."

He held her hand tightly, like it was his only salvation; a little trembling shook it. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he simply replied "Thanks" before kissing the back of her hand.

Kensi felt a pleasuring shiver when his lips touched her skin, an electrical discharge that excited her. She bit her lip, nervously... in expectation, wanting some more, but she knew she had to wait; she knew that right now, Deeks had something to do and she didn't have any intention to leave him alone. She would be at his side.

When she stopped the car at her usual spot, she could see that he was panicking "Now, you look at me" gently she cupped his face, her mismatched eyes locked into his blue ones "There's nothing to worry. You're among friends... and no one is going to judge you. Just remember this..."

"But I... they saw me like that, I..." his voice cracked a little, but he was interrupted when Kensi's lips moved to his and she kissed him.

"Stop being worried" she insisted, admitting no reply "You ready now?"

Deeks chuckled, shaking his head "You're so pretty convincing... but maybe I need a little bit of your medicine" he said cunningly, grinning.

"Oh don't be greedy... you can call this just a taste" her lips brushed nonchalantly his before she got out of the car.

"Oh come on Fern! You're such a tease" he protested, getting out as well.

"Patience Surfer Boy... just be patient" she insisted, smiling, stopping in front of the door "Ready?"

"Do I have any other choice?" the cop wondered tentatively.

"No" and with that Kensi just walked inside, followed by her very reluctant partner.

They weren't at the bullpen yet, when they heard small footsteps coming from the stairs

"Deeks!" Nell rushed towards him, engulfing him in an embrace, unable to hide her happiness "You're back..."

A bit startled by the unexpected welcome from the usual controlled analyst, Deeks hugged her back while his nervousness faded away "Thanks" he murmured a bit embarrassed.

When he broke the embrace with her, the cop found himself face to face with Eric, who smiled, even more embarrassed than he was "Hey man" Deeks told the other man, offering a hand to shake, but the tech surprised him too, grabbing it with unexpected strength, and guiding him towards him, hugging him.

"I'm so glad to see you... I thought that... I... I am just happy" a few tears escaped from the tech's eyes, but he managed to hide them behind his glasses.

"How are you?" Nell intervened, asking him, but there was no malice in her words, no condemnation as the cop had feared, just pure concern.

"I'm... good" he admitted a bit uncertain, before flashing a smile, almost overwhelmed by the two techs' behavior towards him, something he didn't expect at all.

"Well, well, well... isn't it Mr. Shaggy Boy?" Sam's voice greeted him, teasingly, as the big man approached.

Deeks was a bit worried about the two senior agents' reaction, he was afraid they could think less of him. In spite of the appearance, the cop cared a lot about their judgment, about what they thought of him and the idea of being a disappointment to them, hurt him a bit. He froze on his feet, unable to say anything.

Kensi noticed his sudden change of mood, so she reached for his hand, letting him feel her presence beside him.

"Hey Sam" the cop swallowed hard, but before he could add anything else, the ex-Seal shook his hand and put the other one on the younger man's shoulder.

"Good to see you Deeks... I would have never imagined to say that, but this place was not the same without you" the big man told him while his lips curved into a sweet smile.

"Not to mention the fact that Kensi was driving us crazy..." Callen stepped forwards, embracing his friend, patting him on his back before breaking apart "We all missed you, Deeks" his blue eyes locked on the cops', while he nodded.

Deeks felt like his heart was exploding in his chest, he had never imagined his teammates to welcome him like they had just did... they cared about him, in spite of what he was, in spite of... everything. He cast one glance to Kensi who was looking at him, happiness could be easily read on her expression, in her sparkling eyes. She simply nodded at him.

"Kensi, really? You didn't tell me you were missing me so much... now what have you done to make them so mad?" the cop winked in her direction.

"Just half of the things I will do to you if you won't shut up..." she remarked, pretending to be offended by his comment.

"Oh, are you already tired of my voice? Of my presence here? Of my obviously amazing personality...?"

Kensi was trying to give him a witty reply when Sam said to his partner "And you were complaining that this place was too silent!"

"Well, maybe I have exaggerated a bit" the blue eyed team leader rolled his eyes, in disbelief, but deep inside of him, he was happy... happy to have his team back, his whole team back. It was a nice sensation, shared by all the others.

"Hey, you are wounding me here... I can feel the love!" Deeks protested, immensely glad for the new opportunity they were giving him.

"I see that you're back, Mr. Deeks... this place is finally back to its standard" Hetty appeared behind her two senior agents, smiling, her eyes stared at the your cop, full of pride. He went through a lot, but he made it...

Her eyes couldn't miss the glance exchange between the detective and her female junior agent and deep inside herself, she smiled, happy for what she saw. She was going to have a chat with them, but not today. Today was time to celebrate.

"Hetty, hey..." the cop was a bit uneasy, not knowing what his next move could be. He was always a bit unsure when he was around the Operations Manager, always afraid of doing a mistake, especially considering Hetty's treat of using her letter opener on him.

This time it was her that solved the awkward situation, walking towards him and grabbing his hand "Welcome back, Mr. Deeks, we all missed you"

Deeks scratched his head, flattered by the affection his friends were showing towards him "I... look, I don't know what to say... you..." his voice broke a little and his eyes watered "Thank you, thank you all"

"Oh heck... I think I would have never seen the day when Marty Deeks was speechless, well.. almost at least..." Sam stated teasingly, patting him in the shoulder.

"I would have never imagined to have the opportunity to see you all again..." the cop added, turning serious "There have been days in which I... I was going to give up, but... but the idea of coming back here, of you all, well... that helped me. A lot" his eyes landed on Kensi, seeing the tears rolling down her cheeks "I knew that all the pain, all the suffering was worth it... and that I couldn't give up..."

Silence fell in the room, all of them reflecting on his words, on the deep meaning of every one of them. It was Hetty that broke it.

"I have a bottle of a great Scotch I saved for special occasions... I think it's finally time to open it" she suggested, nodding proudly at the young detective.

"I'm so up for this" Callen agreed.

"Oh, I second that" echoed Sam.

"I'm not much of a drinker... but I think I can make an exception this time" almost exclaimed Eric.

"Oh well, we can share a glass" Nell added, looking at him cunningly.

"I like the idea" Kensi couldn't take her eyes away from Deeks, like she wanted to make up for all the time she couldn't spend with him, simply looking at him.

The cop bowed his head, his lips curved into a pleased smile "Me too" he whispered "I like that too"

They waited for Hetty to come back with the bottle, talking and joking to one another, like the old times.

An hour later, Kensi found Deeks sitting at his desk while the others were still celebrating, making a fool of Eric who had probably drunk too much. He seemed lost in his thought, but his expression was serene, peaceful,

"Hey, you ok?" she asked him, sitting on the desk, looking straight at him.

"Yes, I am... like I've never been in ages" from the look in his eyes, he truly meant those words.

"But?" she pressed, taking his hand once again in hers "You know you can tell me everything..."

"I... I was just thinking..."

"About what?" she wondered, curiously.

"Kensi, I... there are a couple of things I... I have to do, but..." he hesitated a moment, as his heart was filled with sadness "Do you think you can come with me?"

Kensi studied him, his expression, his veiled eyes "You know you don't have even to ask..."

"So... can we go ...now?"

"Now? But... they..." she cast a glance at her friends and realized that at the moment they were too busy "Yeah, we can sneak out without them even realizing it" she guided him on his feet, planting a kiss on his lips "Come on, let's go then"

They left the Mission sure that no one noticed them, but a couple of knowing eyes were controlling them and every movement they did. Hetty smiled softly, nodding in approval.

"Do you think they will be ok?" Callen asked her, watching his two younger teammates stepping through the wooden door.

"They will be more than ok, Mr. Callen. Until they'll be together, they will be more than ok..." she said, grinning satisfied "Now, what do you think if we'll finish that bottle of scotch? Haven't I told you that it comes from Winston Churchill private selection?"

* * *

We're getting close to the end and it seems that finally Deeks is getting better... but where did he want to go?

As always, let me know what you think... I'll appreciate it! Thanks in advance.


	16. Chapter 16

As always I can only thanks all of you who spent some time reading, alerting and reviewing this. Thanks a lot!

If you'll find that this chapter has much more mistakes than the previous ones, please blame pneumonia and the meds I'm taking ;)

* * *

Street Life - Chapter 16

Deeks laid a flower on the grave, feeling a knot clenching his stomach when he read the few words on the tombstone _Brad Singleton 1961-2012 Beloved husband, father and friend._

It hurt, it still hurt too much thinking that Brad was gone and it pained the cop even more, thinking about the way he died. Tears formed in his eyes, remembering all the memories he had of his friend, all the moments they shared… all the things Brad had taught him; his shoulders shook as he sobbed, his hands curled into tight fists.

Kensi laid a gentle hand on his back, letting him know that he was not alone, that she was there for him, but it broke her heart seeing Deeks like that, after everything he went through.

"We get them, Brad… we get them all" he said with a broken voice, as he was finding hard to control his emotions, to stay strong, failing miserably though "I… I… I'm just sorry, I… wasn't there to get them. I'm sorry if I… disappointed you…"

"Deeks, no… don't say that" Kensi stepped in front of him, lifting his face, locking her eyes on his "You did what you had to do, you… you almost died. How could Brad be disappointed with you? I'm sure he would be very proud instead"

He looked at her, with a childish expression, like a kid who was looking for his father's approval "Do… do you really mean it? Do you really think that he would be proud of me? I… I allowed those men to get me, to… turn me… to turn me in…"

"Sshhtt, stop being an idiot!" she raised her voice now, knowing that in this moment he needed a shock, a jolt to get out of this self-pitiful moment "Damn it Deeks, can't you see it? You went undercover, risking your life… hell you almost died…" her tone softened a bit as she added "I almost lost you. How can you even think that you were a disappointment? You saved Jason's life… and other people's lives. Does it mean nothing for you?"

"Yeah… I… but… but I still feel like I could have done something more, that I could have been more… alert, that I shouldn't have let them catch me so easily… I lowered my guard and…" he couldn't go on, words died in his throat.

Kensi cupped his face "No, you did what you could… no one is blaming you for anything. Everyone knows what you did in this operation, what you risked… so give yourself some credit instead of beating yourself up. Be proud of what you did and trust me, Brad would be more than proud of you, I'm sure of it" she pulled him closer and kissed him.

When they broke apart, he rested his forehead on hers, his eyes fixed on hers as he gently caressed her cheek with the back of his hand "Why are you so good to me? What did I do to deserve you?"

She tilted her head giving him a scolding glance "Really, Deeks? I thought we had passed this phase… I thought you knew already why I am so good to you" she moved even closer to him, if it was even possible, feeling his breath on her face, his scent filling her nostrils, almost hearing distinctly his accelerated heartbeat.

He chuckled, sensing his own desire growing, being aroused by her closeness "Kens… I… I don't think this is…" he hesitated a bit, swallowing hard to control himself "…the right place…" he took a deep breath, closing his eyes, because he knew he wouldn't resist if he had to look straight into her mismatched orbs "And… you know that, I… I… I have something else to do…"

In spite of what her body was telling her, Kensi knew he was right, she knew he needed to set some things straight, that he won't feel good with himself until he won't do that. This was more important than whatever she had in mind, whatever she desired "I know… but a girl can dream" she said, winking.

Deeks smiled, shaking his head, then he turned around to face Brad's grave "Can you see what I get myself into?" sighing heavily, he became serious "I… I hope I wasn't a complete disappointment Brad, I hope I… that you're still proud of me" he took Kensi's hand "Come on, let's go now"

"Feeling better?" she wondered a bit concerned.

"Not much, but I will be…" without turning around he guided her outside the cemetery.

Twenty minutes later they were at their second stop, outside the shelter of 31st Street. The cop inhaled deeply, remembering the last time he had been here, the sweet memories filling his mind. In spite of whatever happened, this place was still dear to him, it had been like a home for Frankie Boy and maybe even for him, for Marty Deeks.

The moment he walked inside, a warm sensation engulfed him, the smell of food reached his nostrils and images flashed in front of his eyes. He stood still, unable to move a single step when he saw her and he felt a pang in his heart.

"Oh my God…" Milly Freeman stopped what she was doing, rushing towards him and before Deeks could open his mouth, she engulfed him in a tight embrace. She held him for what it looked like a lifetime, then when she finally decided she had almost crushed all of his bones, Milly let him go "Look at you" she took his face into her hands, staring at him with teary eyes.

"Hello Miss Milly…" the cop told her timidly, running his tongue on his dry lips, nervously.

"My boy… my boy is back" she said, overwhelmed by the happiness "You… are way too thin for my taste, but you… you look good"

Deeks couldn't believe the way the older woman was treating him even if he had lied to her, he was touched by her affection "Miss Milly, I… I have to… I'm sorry…"

"First of all, it's Milly… you should know by now" she smiled at him, still too happy to see him "And why are you sorry?"

The cop was puzzled, he searched for Kensi, whose eyes were shining with joy. She was aware of how worried he was of Milly's reaction, feeling like he had betrayed her trust.

"Milly… I… I lied to you… I.." he started but his throat was dry and talking was not easy.

The older woman noticed his uneasiness, so she took him by his hand and guided him towards a table "Come on son, let's have a talk"

Deeks didn't know why, but he felt like he was going to the principal office, as much as all the times Hetty had required his presence in front of her. He mentally chuckled at the similarities between the women, so different but otherwise very similar "Milly, I… don't know where to start to say how sorry I am" he told her, playing nervously with his hands on the table.

"So don't… you don't have to be sorry. You did what you did, because it was your job…" she put one of her big hands over his.

"But I lied to you, I… betrayed your trust. Not once, but twice" he was unable to look at her, too ashamed of his past actions "Man, you don't know how many times I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to tell you everything… but I was a coward. I was afraid of losing your friendship… please, forgive me if you can…"

Milly lifted his chin, gently, with motherly gesture, seeing his veiled eyes, seeing the sorrow into the deep blue of his orbs "There's nothing to forgive, son. I loved Frankie Boy, he was one of my boys, but I love Marty Deeks as well, he's also one of mine. I admire his courage, his loyalty, his dedication. I admire the way he put himself and his life at risk only to save other people…" she studied intently his features, still signed by all the pain he went through in the last period and her heart melted "Look, Marty… your friends told me what you did, why you did it. They told me what you… went through… how could I be mad at you after all of that? Believe me, I have never been mad at you, not for a single minute. I know what living on the streets means, I know how hard it is, how tough it is, but you didn't think twice, you came here, lived like one of these people, being one of them… it takes a lot of bravery to do it"

"But I… I could have talked to you…" he insisted, unable to overcome the guilt.

"What do you think it would have changed, Marty? I don't care about your name, I don't care about the way you dress, the way you spoke… I only care about what you have here" she put a hand on his chest, over his heart, feeling it beating madly "What you have here is the same now as it was when you were Frankie Boy… I have always known that there was something more behind the appearance, I have always known that Frankie Boy was special… I'm just happy I was right. You are special… and you have a great heart Marty Deeks, never forget about it!"

Deeks couldn't control himself, this woman was simply amazing, not only she had forgiven him, but she was offering her respect and her love to him "Milly… I… I don't know what to say…" and it was true.

"So shut up! Give me one of those smiles I loved so much and you make me the happiest woman on Earth" she gently caressed his face.

The cop flashed one of his smiles, the one that brightened up his whole expression.

"That's my boy" Milly told him, kissing him on his cheek.

"Miss Milly…" he realized his mistake so he corrected himself immediately "Milly, can… can I give you a hug?"

"Oh Marty… you don't even have to ask!" without waiting for his move, she guided him into her strong arms.

"Marty Deeks loves Miss Milly" he whispered in her ear, softly, channeling Frankie Boy's voice.

Her heart melted hearing those few words, she had always sensed that this young man had a tough life, that he had never had so many people loving him, especially during his childhood. During the days in which he was stuck in that hospital bed, she had heard stories about him from his teammates and she was shocked by how good he had turned out after such hard upbringing. So she was even happier when he had whispered those few simple words… she was aware that she had find a way to his heart and soul "And Miss Milly loves Marty… but my dear boy, you need to put some meat on these bones" she broke the hug, smiling at him. With the corner of her eye, she cast a glance at Kensi, who nodded thankfully "Why don't you get something to eat? I think there's an amazing roasted chicken today" Milly indicated the place where a big man was serving the food.

Deeks' heart skipped a beat at the sight "Jason…" he murmured, biting his lip. The cop had a vague memory of Milly being at his bedside during his stay at the hospital, but he didn't think he had seen Jason there or at least his confused mind couldn't remember it, so seeing the big man here, made him very nervous.

"Come on, Marty… don't be afraid" the older woman exhorted him, taking his hands and helping him on his feet "He couldn't wait to talk to you"

Deeks once again looked for Kensi's approval; the NCIS agent smiled at him as Milly joined her.

"Just go" she told him in distance.

Once again, he took a deep breath and started walking towards the place where Jason was busy giving the chicken away "Do you mind if I get some?" he asked, curving his lips in a tentative smile.

The big man lost the grip on the fork he was holding, completely startled by the sudden appearance "Marty?" he wondered, just to be sure.

"In flesh and bones" Deeks, this time, flashed a big grin "You look awesome Jason…"

"You're not that bad yourself Marty Boy" the big man said, making a mix of Deeks' real name and of his undercover persona.

The cop froze hearing that name, only one person had ever called him like that… his mother and she had always said it with the same affection Jason had used.

"Hey… are you ok?" the big man was worried by the sudden change of the blond cop's mood.

"Yes, I… it's been a long time since someone used that name with me…" his expression softened, his eyes veiled with tears.

Jason moved behind the table and stood in front of his friend, putting his big hands around Deeks' neck "I can't believe you're here. Milly told me that you were… that… she didn't know when you would come back, this is just a great surprise…" his voice cracked as he tried to keep himself together "I… I was so worried about you, after… after you helped me get away from those men… I thought... I thought that… oh heck! I'm so happy to see you son" he engulfed the cop in a bear hug and letting go all of his restraints, he started crying.

"Jason… why… I…"

"You saved my life son… not once, but twice. First when you allowed me to escape and then when I realized that I was wasting my life on the streets, that I… could do something to help the other people" Jason broke the hug, his eyes locked on Deeks' blue ones, full of gratitude "When I… when I found out what you did, I realized that I couldn't let your sacrifice go wasted… so I accepted Milly's offer. And here I am… she gives me a place to stay and I help her with the shelter…. And this is all because of you, son…"

The cop didn't know what to say "Jason, I… I'm so happy for you"

"Thanks… I'm happy too" the big man studied his younger friend, seeing the black circles under his eyes, his bloodshot eyes "How are you doing son? For what I see, you didn't have the greatest of time…" there was a hint of guilt in his voice that didn't go missed by the cop.

"Hey, it's not your fault…" he replied firmly "What happened, happened… now it's time to start living again"

The lack of answer to his question, was, for Jason, a clear sign of how tough the last period had been for the young man "I'm sorry son, for everything you had to go through… I'm sorry you had to do it all alone… that I couldn't help you… that I didn't protect you as I should have done. I… when I took you with me, I promised myself that I would have kept you safe, but I… I failed and you suffered because of my ineptitude"

"Jason no! Nothing of this is your fault... you..." Deeks stared at the older man's dark eyes, hoping he could realize that he didn't do anything wrong "I was glad I could spend time with you. You gave me something that... that even my own father has never been able to give me. You made me feel loved... you made me feel important..."

"But you were important for me, you still are and I hope you'll like to spend some time with me from now on, we can... know each other" the big man, put hand on the cop's shoulder, squeezing it gently "You're like the son I never had..."

Deeks bowed his head, once again his heart felt like exploding for too many emotion filling it "And you're the father I have always wanted to have"

"Oh Marty..." Jason guided his younger friend into his arms, holding him tightly, afraid that he could escape, that he could go away and never come back. Tears rolled down his cheeks, copiously. After endless minutes, they broke apart "I think... I think you better go now. There's someone waiting for you" the big man pointed his finger to Kensi who hadn't missed a moment of the two friends' reunion.

Deeks could only smile and his expression lightened up as his eyes landed on her.

"I can see why you love her, Marty... she's amazing! She never gave up when it came to looking for you or to sitting at your bedside. She was there, uncaring of her tiredness, she never left you, not for a single second..."

"Yeah, I know... I'm a lucky man" the cop admitted, sighing deeply.

"I bet she thinks the same" Jason put a hand on Deeks' face "You're a good man, Marty Deeks, just try not to forget about it"

The younger man stood still, silent, digesting his friend's words, then simply said "Thank you, Jason... I will never forget what you did for me"

"Don't even mention it, son... I owe you my life" the big man smiled, happily "Don't become a stranger, you know there will always be a place for you here, with Milly and me... that woman can't wait to spoil you again"

Deeks burst out laughing "Don't worry, you know I will always share everything with you" he became serious, but his eyes couldn't hide his serenity "I better go now... it's been a long day and I... I would like to go home. I haven't been there in months"

"Yeah, of course" Jason gave him another quick hug, before letting him go "Take care son"

"You too Jason... you too" and with that the cop turned on his heels and walked towards Kensi.

"So... I guess it went well..." she told him, grabbing his hand and kissing it.

"Yes, it went more than well" Deeks narrowed his eyes, as he was suddenly reflecting "Why do I have the feeling that you... knew more than you let me know about all of this?"

"Do you think I... planned it in advance? Hey... I'm not Hetty, I'm not so far-sighted!" she protested, unable to hide a smile.

"No, you're Kensi Blye... the only woman I can't live without" he leaned towards her and kissed her.

"Mmmm I like the sound of this... now, what do you think about going home? I think there's someone else who would like to meet you" she told him, teasingly, placing her arms around his waist.

His entire face brightened up at her words... yes, he wanted to go home and finally starting to put this bad experience behind his back "I can't wait for that"

* * *

Deeks opened the door of his apartment and he hadn't placed a foot inside that he was literally assaulted by a very excited Monty, who jumped on him, making him losing his equilibrium. He stumbled to the floor with Monty all over him licking his face and wagging his tail in happiness.

"Hey buddy... I take you're happy to see me" the cop was caressing his dog, scratching him behind his ears as the Monty loved so much "Yeah, daddy is happy to be home too... I missed you too buddy!"

Kensi observed the entire scene, barely holding herself from laughing out loud. She had witnessed how much the dog had missed his master, witnessed the way he became sad, whining, every time she took him here to retrieve some of his stuff. It was really true that the bond between men and animals was something special, something hard to explain with words but that completed both of them, that made them whole only when they were together.

"Ok, ok... what do you think about a little treat? I'm sure Kensi here bought you something good" Deeks got up and walked to the kitchen, opening the cupboard, not surprise at all to find it filled with not only dog food, but even with everything he liked the most. He looked at her, eyes full of gratitude, before opening a box of biscuits and giving one to Monty "Good boy, now... go take a nap" he petted Monty a little bit more before letting him go towards his small armchair.

Deeks walked back to the living room, sitting on the couch; his hands caressed its fabric like it was the first time he touched it, like he was getting acquainted with a new place "Thank you, for... taking care of Monty, of my place. I... I truly appreciate it"

Kensi sat on the couch, beside him, leaning her head on his chest "I... taking care of this place it was like taking care of you, like being closer to you, even if you were miles away.

He passed his arm around her shoulders so she could snuggle up to him "What about ordering a pizza and watching some Tv? I... I can even let you watch your favorite shows..."

"Sounds like a plan..." she lifted her face so her lips could touch his, sweetly "You know how much I missed you, don't you?"

He kissed her lips first, then her right cheek, then the left one... then her nose, her neck, then holding her closer, he kissed the top of her head "I missed you too. Thinking of you was what kept me going, what made me go on in spite of... in spite of... everything..."

Kensi took his hand, making soothing circles on its back "How... how was it?" she asked tentatively.

He closed his eyes, for a moment lost somewhere "It was... horrible. I... my body hurt, every cell of my whole system was screaming in pain. I didn't have the control on anything and there was this horrible sensation, like something was eating me from the inside... and there were the nightmares..."

She could see the tears running along his cheeks and she felt bad for asking him to remember "Oh Deeks, I'm sorry... I didn't want you to go back there. Please stop if it's..."

"No, it's ok. I... I feel like I need to talk about and I... I trust you Kens. You're the only person I truly trust..." he stared at her eyes, losing himself in their deepness "I... I was on the edge of giving up, that day, when I called you... I was ready to get out of that place and... go somewhere, finding something to fulfill my need... but just the sound of your voice made me realize that... doing that I would have lost you... so I... I fought against my demons, because I wanted to come back to you"

It was her time to cry now, she could not even start to imagine what life had been for him lately, what kind of monsters he had to fight against, but of one things she was sure. He was back... and he was there, with her "And you won..."

"Yes, thanks to you" he caressed her face, tracing every line of her profile.

The slow gesture sent pleasuring shivers down her spine. She straightened up herself and she sat on his lap, kissing him, avidly. She could feel his whole body reacting to her closeness while his tongue explored her mouth with slow movements that excited her even more.

Her hands moved under his t-shirt, touching his chest, feeling his heartbeat going crazy. His mouth moved to her neck, kissing it teasingly. She moaned with pleasure, almost unable to control herself anymore.

When Deeks' hands found their way under Kensi's shirt unhooking her bra, her phone rang.

"I think you should get that..." he told her continuing his exploration of every centimeter of her skin with his tongue.

"It can wait..." she replied arching her back when his fingers played with her nipples while her hands toyed with his hair.

"Kensi, it would be Sam or Callen... you know that if you don't pick the call up, they will show up here" he planted another couple of kisses on her neck, making her moan.

She kissed him on his lips, then, reluctantly, she got up to answer her still ringing phone "Don't go anywhere" she told him teasingly.

"I've got nowhere else to go... at the moment I'm a bit stuck with a hot brunette..." Deeks said in a playful tone.

"Are you already cheating on me? How unfair..." she winked at him as her hand got the phone.

"Oh come back here and I'll show you what kind of cheater I am..."

"I like the sound of it" Kensi pressed a button on her cell phone and answered "Hey Callen... yes, we're at Deeks' apartment... yes, he's fine..." she looked at Deeks who was leaning his head against the backseat of the couch, closing his eyes "Yeah, of course... don't worry... it's been a long day, maybe tomorrow... of course I'll do... ok, yes... and Callen, tell Sam that Deeks appreciates him going on mother hen on him" she heard a big laugh coming from the other side of the phone, then she said her goodbye, closing the communication.

"Now, where were we?" she said walking back to the couch, but when she sat there, she heard the little, unmistakable sound of a light snoring. She smiled as her fingers moved along his face, tracing the line of his features. He looked so peaceful, so at ease, like it was the first time in ages that he was having a good moment of sleep. She could say that he was exhausted, it had been a taxing day for him with all of this up and down of emotions, and she was aware that he deserved to rest. So she got up and went to his bedroom, retrieving a blanket. When she came back to the living room, she took his long legs and laid them on the table in front of the couch, taking off his shoes, then covered him with the blanket, snuggling under it herself, leaning against him so she could feel the heat emanating from his body, that she could feel his calming presence beside her.

In spite of all the things she wanted to do with him, of all the things she wanted to talk to him about, she knew that today he needed this. Just a little piece of normality, of a normal routine, something he didn't have the opportunity to enjoy in the past couple of months.

There will be time for them as a couple, for them to work even more on the new phase of their thing, there will be an entire future in front of them, an entire life. This night she could simply stay like this, close to him, watching him sleeping, being there in case a nightmare would come haunting him. So she planted another kiss on his lips and snuggled up, under the blanket to feel his body pressed to her. He was there with her and he will be for so long...

This was enough for her for tonight... tomorrow they will start their new life, together.

"Good night, Deeks" she told him, kissing him again "I... I love you"

He shifted his position, getting even closer to her, unconsciously passing an arm around her shoulders while he slept. He muttered something incoherently, but few words arrived clear to her ears "Love you too, Kens"

Kensi's heart melted hearing that and it was suddenly filled with love and a peaceful sensation. Relaxed and satisfied, she closed her eyes and soon, she was asleep too with her head leaning against his.

A happy smile curved both of their lips.

The end

* * *

And that's it... it's over. You all guessed right were Deeks wanted to go, I was very predictable ;)

Thanks to whoever followed me until now, I really appreciate.

And once again, I would like to know what you think. Thanks in advance!

and I wish you'll follow me in the next adventure!


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